Different Shades of suffering
by blueskiesforever
Summary: Harry Potter leaves the wizarding world to go into hiding. Not only does he leave behind the life he once loved, but he also leaves behind a daughter who has challenges of her own to face.
1. Prologue: Every New Beginning…

a/n- Hey everyone, it's me again! Sorry about the issues with not updating. I've had some deaths in the family and I've gone off the college so my life's been kind of hectic. This is a new and updated version of the story. The prologue you see before you has never been posted before. I hope you like it!

Prologue: Every New Beginning…

Harry Potter walked briskly down the friendly suburban neighborhood which currently sat under a red sky filled with a blazing sunset. Work had been rather easy that day, and instead of apparating straight from the office to his house, he had decided to apparate a few blocks away to enjoy the winter wonderland around him. It was the middle of February, and all around him, the ground was covered in pearly white snow. As he approached his small, cozy, two-story house, he picked up his pace when he remembered that Melissa was at home sick.

Much had changed in Harry's life since Voldemort's defeat two years before. He no longer lived in England, or even Europe for that matter. This small town in upstate New York was everything that one would want in order to lay low. The people here didn't like to draw attention to themselves, and that was just the sort of thing Harry was trying to avoid.

He had many regrets about the turns his life had taken recently. In some ways it felt like he was missing out on this whole other person that he would have been had he remained in England. While he tried to make it back home for big events, he still didn't get to take part in everyday life back home. His life would have been different had he not decided that distancing himself from the ones he loved was the best option in order to keep them safe.

Ron and Hermione were married, and expecting their first child. Ginny, though still holding a very large part of this hero's heart was off somewhere doing her own thing. The rest of Ron's brothers were all doing what they'd always done. Except now they all had families of their own to come home to at night. Life seemed to go on without him, no matter how much it hurt him to admit. Harry had ended up in America, working with the best group of aurors on the globe. It was a great job and wonderful opportunity…he just had to keep telling himself that.

He had met Melissa shortly after coming to America. They were both in the same introductory training class. He had recently broken off a long and complicated relationship with Ginny, and perhaps he had been looking for something to fill the void. Melissa had grown up on the west coast in sunny California. She was an orphan like him, her father had died a few months before she was born and her mother died when she was three. She too had suffered greatly throughout the war, loosing almost all of her closest friends in one battle or another. She had no one, and in reality, neither did Harry. She had come to New York to join this particular group of aurors around the same time Harry had. They were friends for a very brief time before they started dating. Things between them were almost always great. They worked together and were able to come home and put all that aside to just be themselves when they were alone. They had developed a certain sense of familiarity in each other, and found comfort in having someone they were really close to amidst a sea of strangers. At any rate, Melissa was all he had left now. They'd been living together for about a year now.

Harry entered the house and hung his coat up on the hook beside the front door. Passing through the vacant front room, he proceeded to the kitchen where he found a bowl of uneaten chicken noodle soup and a medium sized flask of potion. He was about to pass through to the hallway and up the stairs when he saw something on the side of the bottle that made him stop dead in his tracks. The side of the bottle read, _Take daily for proper pre-natal nutrition_.

Harry stood there motionless for a few seconds. This couldn't possibly be what he was thinking, could it? He silently wondered to himself. Well, Mel _had_ said that she was going to the healer to find out what was wrong.

Turning on his heel, he headed up the stairs to his and Melissa's bedroom. Once inside, he found the room itself empty, but the bathroom light door slightly ajar with a light glowing from inside. Walking to the door, he took a deep breath before pushing it open only to find his girlfriend violently throwing up, and kneeling on the ground over the toilet.

Taking a shuddering breath, he walked over to the sink and ran some cool water over a washcloth. He knelt down beside her, placed a comforting palm on the small of her back, and handed her the washcloth. He brushed some of her brown curls off her forehead and waited for her to respond. She looked up at him with bloodshot blue eyes and nodded her head in thanks.

"Mel, are you alright?" He asked once she started wiping her face.

"I'm better now, I think. What are you doing home so early?" She asked, trying to sound bright and cheery.

"It was kind of slow today. All I had was paperwork from that raid last week," he explained as he watched her stand up and wash her face.

Neither of them spoke while Melissa freshened up and cleaned up the bathroom a little bit. After she was satisfied her mess was gone, Harry watched her walk into the bedroom and start turning down the bed.

"I'm completely wiped out," she said as she fluffed the pillows and then turned to face him. "I wouldn't mind turning in early."

"Mel," Harry said simply in a very serious tone.

"What?" She asked, looking up at him innocently.

"How far along are you?"

Mild shock and realization passed over her face. "A few weeks," she admitted, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"And that's why you've been so sick lately?"

"Yes," she said, almost sounding ashamed.

"How long were you planning on keeping this from me?" He asked, trying to keep his anger in check.

Melissa stared at him in amazement for a few seconds before standing up from the bed and walking out the door and down the stairs, with Harry hot on her tail. "I just found out today, Harry! I've had my suspicions for a while, but I just got back from the healers office a few hours ago."

"You had no intention of telling me tonight, did you?"

She stopped in the middle of the stairs and turned to look him in the eye. "I was going to wait and find the right moment to te-"

Harry shook his head vigorously. "No, you were going to hide it from me!"

She turned around and continued down the stairs, she didn't turn back to face him until they both where on the main floor. When she did, Harry could see fresh tears streaming down her face. "What did you expect me to do? Walk up to you the second you got home and say, guess what Harry? I'm having a baby that I know you don't want!"

Harry was slightly stunned that she would come out and say such a thing and couldn't help but raise his voice in response. "I never said I didn't want the baby."

She laughed cynically in response. "Oh, please! It's written all over your face!"

"Oh yeah! And what else does this look on my face tell you?" Harry asked in return.

"It tells me that you're angry and that you blame me, that's what it tells me!" She responded with spite.

"I thought we were careful," he said changing the subject slightly. "I thought we took precautions so that this sort of thing wouldn't happen."

"I guess we weren't careful enough," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

He walked over to the counter and leaned the small of his back against the edge, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. "This never should have happened."

"You act as if this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to two people who love each other!" She shouted.

"This _is_ the worst thing that could happen to the two of us!" Harry screamed before he could stop himself.

"I can't believe you just said that," she said, meekly looking away with more tears falling from her eyes.

"Oh, come on Melissa! Don't tell me you're absolutely thrilled about this! We're not married, we're both up to our eyeballs in dark magic, and nothing about us is at all stable for a child to grow up around!"

"I'll admit, Harry, this isn't how I planned it. But I would have at least appreciated some support on this, instead of being attacked like it's my fault!"

"You're going to have to give me a minute on this one, Mel. You can't just dump this news on me and expect me to be okay with it instantaneously," he said in a sarcastic tone.

Melissa took a few steps across the kitchen floor until she stood right in front of his face. "You have to accept this, Harry. This _is_ happening and you can't run away from it like you do everything else!"

He shook he head and walked around her trying to cool down before their tempers got out of hand. "That's not fair, Melissa!"

"Oh, and why not? Honestly, when was the last time you really faced your problems? When was the last time you went home to England and really spent some time with those best friends that you're always talking about?"

"Ron and Hermione have nothing to do with this," he countered loudly.

"Do they even know who I am?" She wondered folding her arms across her chest once more.

Harry found himself at a loss for words suddenly. He looked away from the pain in her eyes and stared at the ground. "Mel, don't do this."

"Don't do what, Harry?" She asked as tears began to fall once more. "Don't make you admit that you're ashamed of me?"

"It isn't like that. You don't understand."

She walked forward and once again was in his face. "I understand perfectly. I understand that the man I love refuses to express his feelings for me to anyone of importance in his life. Seriously Harry, they don't know anything about me, do they?"

"No, they don't," Harry replied, staring at a spot in the corner of the room.

"Why not?" She asked sounding incredibly hurt.

"I don't know why, okay!" He suddenly erupted. "I've just never found the right words to say to them! I can't explain it! And what about you, huh? Who have you told?" He took a step towards her and this time she looked him straight in the eye.

"I haven't told any of my closest friends because I don't have any left," she replied in an even tone with great sadness in her voice. She watched him for a second and then turned away with one final remark, "All I have left is you."

Harry immediately felt like an idiot. She was right. All of her dearest friends had been killed during the war. He tried to redeem himself. "Mel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"I wish everyday that I had some of them here to help me with things. I'd tell them all about you and how much you mean to me. I'd tell them that being with you makes everything I've gone through seem worth it. Apparently you don't feel the same."

"Please don't put words in my mouth," he half begged, turning away from her.

"What am I supposed to do when you won't ever come out and talk to me, Harry? I tell you everything and sometimes I don't think I know anything about you. Now look at me! Pregnant with a child you don't even want!"

Harry snapped out of his trance and looked at her defensively. "I have no idea how to be a parent and neither do you! How did you expect me to react?"

She shook her head and whipped away tears before responding in a hushed, weak voice, "I don't know what I expected. But this clearly wasn't it at all. Call me crazy, but I expected you to ask me how I'm feeling, if I'm scared, or angry, or confused, and I expected some support. So in case you're wondering, yes I am scared, and angry, and confused. But most of all I feel lonely and disappointed. But don't worry, Harry, I'm used to disappointment. I'll manage."

Harry opened his mouth to respond several times, but words seemed to fail him. Several minutes later he looked up and realized that Melissa had gone back upstairs. Walking soberly back to the front room, he sat in a chair and gazed out the picture window into the quiet street.

His mind drifted to what kind of advice Ron and Hermione would give him if they were here. Hermione would most definitely tell him what an insensitive bastard he was being. He really didn't know what Ron would say. If truth be told, there reason no one in England knew about Melissa was because of Ginny. He'd ended things with Ginny and started things with Melissa so close together; he didn't even want to venture to guess what they would think of him. He'd been back to England a few times since he and Mel started seeing each other, but he'd never mentioned her because he didn't want to hurt Ginny. He did still love her, but it was a different kind of love, and once which he knew he would never be able to explain to Ron in a way that would make him understand. Some days he felt that the part of him that loved Ginny was a completely different person all together. It felt like a different lifetime. Whatever the past, he knew Melissa was his future. He loved her, and he wanted to make things work.

He couldn't believe what an idiot he was making of himself. Of course would love their child. It just wasn't the way he had pictured it. With so many death eaters still on the loose, most of them operating sporadically without any kind of leadership, times were just as dangerous as ever. This was no environment in which to raise a child. And even if it was the right time and place, how would he ever know what to do? How was he supposed to be a father when he had never had one to use as an example?

If he was feeling this uncertain about the whole thing, he couldn't imagine what Melissa must be going through. They may be having a baby together, but she was the one that was actually pregnant. He'd never felt like a bigger jerk.

He took a few more minutes to gather his thoughts before he made his way up the stairs to find a pitch black bedroom and a curled up body on one side of the bed. She had her back to him, and although she didn't make any noise, he knew she was crying. She had too much stupid pride and dignity to sob out loud, even when she didn't think anyone was watching. He got under the covers and wrapped his arms around her trembling body and pulled her towards him.

"Let go of me, Harry," she protested in a hoarse voice.

He shook his head no, pulled her back tighter against his chest, and began his apology. "No, I won't let you go. I'm so sorry about what I said. I know this is something that we should really be happy about. It's just that it was kind of a shock."

"Think of how I felt to be told I was pregnant by a strange healer, all by myself. I never wanted this to happen. I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid about how you would react."

"I'm sorry I proved you right initially," Harry responded miserably, disgusted with himself.

Melissa didn't turn around to address him, and her body remained rigid in his arms. "I'm keeping this baby whether you like it or not. You can either accept that and be the brilliant father I know you can be, or you can leave and I'll raise him or her on my own. I was fine on my own before I met you, Harry. I'll be fine without you if you leave."

"No, I don't want you to do that. I'm never going to leave you. I love you, and I'm going to love this baby. I'm so, so sorry about how I reacted." Harry propped himself up on his elbow and turned her over on her back to look up at him.

"I need you to do something for me," she asked, looking him straight in the eye.

"Anything," he said, kissing her forehead.

"I need you to tell me why you're so afraid of this," she pleaded. "Is it because you don't think you'll make a good father, or is it because you don't think you'll be alive to raise this baby with me?"

Sometimes it felt like she could read his mind. "A little bit of both. You never know what the future holds, Mel."

"Let's just take it one day at a time, okay. We'll deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes."

"I do love you, you know that, right?" He asked with a desperate expression.

She smiled and nodded her head slowly. "I love you too, Harry. You're going to be a fantastic father."

"I hope you're right, love. Now get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up," Harry told her gently as they both settled in for a good nights sleep.

Little did Harry know just how much this child would change his life forever, or how much she too would suffer because of who she was. But Harry couldn't possibly predict all that. Neither could he predict how much he would love her.

a/n- Please tell me if you like it!


	2. Chapter One: Unspeakable Grief

A/N- As some of you may have noticed, this story wasn't in the Harry/Ginny section before. The story is really about Harry's daughter. Fear not, Harry and Ginny will get together, but this story is not only about them. They won't be getting together for a while. Ginny doesn't even come into things for a long time, but she will be there!

Chapter One: Unspeakable Grief

The bitter January air blew relentlessly over the small group of people paying their last respects to a fallen hero. They stood near the edge of the lake on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, beneath large shade trees that in the summer would provide escape from the harsh suns rays. But today there was no sunshine. There was only the plain landscape covered in several inches of snow. Ron and Hermione Weasley stood closest to the newly dug grave, overcome with grief, and knowing that nothing would ever be the same.

Harry was dead. Their best friend was gone forever, and neither of them knew what to say to take the other's pain away. So instead of offering some kind of useless consolation to their fellow mourners, they stood in silence hoping, for something to cause them all to wake up from this terrible dream.

But nothing ever did.

To the rest of the world Harry James Potter would be known as the man who sacrificed everything so that others may find tranquility, while never finding it himself. He would be awarded in death as he was in life, by those who neither understood why he did the things he did, nor really knew how to thank him for his forfeiture of personal bliss.

But to Ron and Hermione, he could be only one thing, he was just Harry. The boy they had both met on the Hogwarts Express and befriended all those years ago. The boy they had been through everything with; death, battles, defeat, hardship, and pain. But more importantly he had been the one they choose to share their happy times with; Qudditch matches, summers at the Burrow, Christmas' at school, their wedding, and so much more. This was the same boy who hated the life he was forced to live, but at the end of the day still found reasons to smile. He had given them more than he had given anyone else. He gave them himself, the unaltered version of himself that no one else got the opportunity to know or understand.

Now that he was gone, the world around them seemed foreign and detached. People they had once considered friends had become strangers. Those people were from a different life it seemed, a life neither of them would ever be able to return to.

About a week after the funeral Ron fumbled through the large trunk sitting in the middle of his living room; looking for something that would make him feel connected to the best friend he had just lost. The trunk had been brought to them by an auror who had worked with Harry in America. The man said it was filled with Harry's more personal belongings, and he also said they were welcome to go to Harry's house to look around and retrieve anything else they wanted. Ron knew he would never bring himself to step foot inside that house, but he was grateful for the truck full of memories.

The trunk contained all sorts of items from Harry, many of which Ron had never seen before. He found several journals that Harry had kept since his Hogwarts days. Telling himself that one day he would read them, Ron continued to search the trunk before he found a shoebox filled with pictures. The picture on top was in a frame and obviously had been hung on the wall because it had wire running across the back of it. The picture was taken at Hogwarts the day they left the school, never to return again as students. Harry was standing next to Ginny and Hermione with his arms around both of them, leaning toward the camera. In the moving photo the three friends looked at one another and laughed heartily. Ron smiled in melancholy at the memory which had once held such happiness for all of them. He remembered the feeling he had when that picture was taken.

In the two years that Ron, Hermione, and Harry had been out of Hogwarts much had changed. Ron and Hermione had gotten married the summer after graduation, and became parents to a son they named Jack over a year later. Hermione was now pregnant with their second child.

Voldermort had been defeated at the end of their seventh year thanks to Harry's relentless search for the four remaining parts of Voldemorts soul. He had not intended to return to Hogwarts after what happened at the end of their sixth year. But when Ron and Hermione both told him they would be returning, Harry decided to complete his education because he knew that's what Dumbledore would have wanted. He also had a nice cover up in his search for the Dark Lord's soul. Who would have thought Harry spent most of his nights with the Order of the Phoenix continuing his search.

Even with Voldemort gone, the danger that had existed during his long reign of terror still loomed over the wizarding world like a thick fog on a cold winter's morning. There were new threats to the peace of the wizarding community. Some of them bigger or smaller than others, but all of them kept people on their toes. Voldemort's followers vowed to return a new dark lord to power, one that would be strong enough to defeat anyone, and though the task was farfetched, it didn't keep people from being fearful.

Nothing or no one had changed as much as Harry had in that short time. After the final battle, Harry's work was far from over. Ron and Harry both entered Auror training at the same time, thinking it would be something they would be able to do together. But Harry was rushed through the different levels of training and sent on mission after mission while Ron completed the training at regular intervals. Ron and Hermione saw very little of Harry after he started going on missions out of the country. When he was able to come home for a short visit, they found him distant and distracted, like he always had something on his mind but utterly refused to talk about it.

Ginny and Harry dated all through Harry's seventh year in secret. They never told anyone how much time they spent together, even Ron and Hermione. But during the final battle, Ginny was captured and nearly killed by Draco Malfoy. Harry never forgave himself for putting her in that much danger and refused to see or talk to her after that. Ginny was reluctant to give up at first, but once Harry joined the auror department and started being gone for long intervals of time, she had little choice so she found ways to occupy her time in hopes that Harry would one day come around. She returned to school for her final year and then began work with an organization to protect endangered children.

After Ron completed his training, he spent most of his time in England dealing with small local disturbances with the exception of a few short missions out of the country. Now that Harry was really gone for good, Ron didn't know what he was going to do. He knew he could never bring himself to continue at the auror department, it was simply too painful. But where that left him, he just didn't know.

Things were so different now than when they were in school. They had all hoped that with the defeat of Voldermort that there would be peace for a while. Now they all knew that that dream--like so many others--would never be realized. Ron once expressed his fear of never truly finding happiness to Harry during one of his sporadic visits. He would never forget the advice Harry had given him.

He said, "Ron, as long as there are people who are unhappy with themselves there will always be threats to those that are or wish to be happy. Life most certainly is not a fairy tale, far from it, in fact. But it is because of those unhappy people that we must continue fighting so we can have some kind of happiness in our lives, even if it's only for a little while."

After that conversation was over Ron remembered thinking to himself, "God, when did Harry grow up?" In a lot of ways, things back then seemed so surreal. It seemed like they were living a life they were not meant to live and that any moment they were going to wake up in Gryffindor tower and it would all be a dream. But the truth was they had all grow up while none of them were looking and were different people than they had been in school.

As Ron now looked down in to the contents of the large trunk, he felt overwhelmed by all the memories the artifacts brought back to his mind. He stood up; unable to take any more torture, he walked to gaze out the window into the dead night surrounding their urban sprawl neighborhood near London. Hermione had returned to Hogwarts that morning. She was a teacher there now and came home every weekend when Ron and Jack weren't staying in her quarters at the school. Ron told her it was too soon for her to return to a place that held so many memories of Harry, but she said that being at Hogwarts made her feel closer to him, for that was the only place he truly felt at home. Standing there and leaning heavily against the window frame, Ron willed the memories to leave his mind, but in doing so it only brought them closer to the surface.

He knew he would never forget the day he came home from work to find two men walking down the path, leaving his house.

One of the men stopped and looked at him with sympathetic eyes. One man tipped his hat and said simply, "I'm sorry."

Ron turned and watched the men walk away from him and then disappear into the humid late afternoon sunshine. He turned his ear to the house, hesitating to go inside, until he heard the loud sobs and screams of his wife. He raced up the remaining path and then jumped the five stairs leading to the door in a single leap. When he came to the front door at last he found it to unlocked and slightly ajar. He walked into the cool house cautiously. He found Hermione sitting at their dinning room table with her face in her hands, sobbing openly.

He approached her slowly from behind and placed a hand lightly on her shoulder. She put her hand on top of his, took a deep breath and turned around. Her eyes were swollen with tears, her face red from crying and screaming, and she shook with sadness. Not really sure what to do, Ron took his trembling wife in his arms and held her as if his life depended on it.

"Hermione…is it your parents?" He asked quietly as he gently ran his hand over her shaking back. She pulled away from him and looked over his shoulder for a moment before meeting his eye.

She removed his hands from where they had fallen to her hips when she pulled away, and held them tightly. She looked him in the eye and said in almost a whisper, "No Ron, its Harry."

Ron already knew what that had to mean. But somehow his mind would not let that knowledge into his heart to process, "What about Harry?"

"Ron,…Harry is…" Hermione could look at him no longer. He let go of her hands and ran his own roughly through his trademark red hair. This couldn't be happening. Not Harry, not after all he had been through. It was his turn for happiness.

He heard Hermione call his name, but all of a sudden he needed to be alone. He turned on his heel and walked back toward Hermione, but passed her, and headed out the back door. He knew he should have been strong for Hermione, but at that moment he just didn't know how.

Ron closed his eyes at the memory of that day and nearly lost his composure. Now standing here in the strikingly silent house, he never felt more alone. He had always had Harry by his side through the hardest parts of his life, even over the last two years, when Harry was so busy with his work. He always managed to make an effort to come home and see Ron and Hermione when they needed him or at least write them a heartfelt letter telling them he was thinking of them and offering his advice. Now he was gone, and Ron still didn't understand why.

They'd been told that he was killed in his home after being ambushed by four death eaters. No one had been permitted to see the body at the funeral. The auror department said that Harry would want to be remembered as he was in life, not as he looked in a coffin. The strange thing to Ron was that Harry had not been able to fight off the death eaters before they had killed him. He had seen Harry in action, and knew that task was not over his head.

Ron decided it was time to stop trying to understand things that really didn't matter in the end, and he walked back to toward the trunk but was stopped when he heard a noise from the floor above. Walking out of the room quickly and up the stairs, he found the room he was looking for. On the outside of the door the letters, JACK, where painted in baby blue paint. Turning the door knob and pushing the door open Ron walked gingerly over to the crib which held his fussing son. The room was also painted a baby blue and was covered in pictures. Some of the pictures were taken of Hogwarts castle, or the Qudditch field. Others were of Hermione's parents or Ron's parents and family. The one that hung over the crib was of Harry and Jack at the christening. Hermione insisted on having the christening only a few days after Jack was born because she wanted to make sure Harry was there. He was sent on a mission right after that, so it turns out Hermione was right in insisting that it take place while he was still in England, because that was the last time they'd seen him alive.

"What's wrong little man?" He asked as he picked the once sleeping baby up in his arms and held him close. He was the first Weasley to be born without red hair; he had his mother's brown curly hair.

"I've got you now, and everything is gonna be okay," he cooed, trying to sooth the upset child. But looking down at the infant, tears began to fall from Ron's eyes at last. To this boy, Harry Potter would be nothing more than a legend…someone he would read about in some of his classes at school. But Harry should have been so much more to Jack. Harry was of course Jack's godfather, but that really didn't matter now that he was gone.

Ron took a seat in the rocking chair Hermione had placed overlooking the window and the back yard. Gazing into the blue eyes of his now silent son, Ron wondered what the little boy's life would be like. Would he face the challenges that he, Hermione, and Harry had faced? A quiet voice in the back of his mind told him the answer was yes, and something deep inside in his heart began to ach. Every parent wishes their child will have a better life than their own, but in the world they lived in today that was just impossible.

When Jack was born Ron, was afraid to hold him because he thought he would break his tiny little body. Hermione told him he was crazy and that Jack was only fragile-looking because he was so small. The first time he cried, Ron remembered feeling helpless. It hurt to hear his son cry and not be able to understand exactly what was troubling him. Hermione informed him that all babies cry a lot right after their born to expand their lungs but to Ron it still hurt.

Hermione was a brilliant mother. She was caring and loving in everything she did. The first time he saw the two of them together in the hospital hours after Jack's birth, he paused at the door and burnt the memory into this mind forever. Hermione sitting on the side of the bed, holding the baby in her arms and smiling warmly down at him, humming gently.

Ron had stood there, unable to move for a second before Harry, having just arrived from some mission in America to meet his godson, came up behind him. His face held a smile that Ron had not seen in a long time. Sure, Harry had smiled during his recent visits home but none of his smiles reached his eyes and made them glow like they used to until then. Harry had held out his hand, congratulated his friend, and led the way into the room with Hermione. They spent the rest of the day talking in Hermione's room about the future. Harry told them he was planning on moving back to England for good and that he wanted to settle down and have a family of his own.

Ron was brought back to the present once more when he noticed Jack had fallen back to sleep in his arms. He placed him back in his crib and returned to the living room. The house was just as dark and silent as it had been before and held a feeling of extreme desolation that suffocated everything like a canopy. The house, which at one time had held such happiness now seemed like a graveyard of hopeless causes and unrealized dreams.

Ron and Hermione bought this house when they found out they were having Jack. They moved in just days after signing the final papers and when they walked into the house for the first time as its true owners they found Harry sitting in their very empty living room. He was leaning against the wall and looking around the room in wonder. He stayed with them for a week after that and helped them move in. Harry was always doing things like that, showing up unexpected when he knew they needed him for something.

One day during his visit, he and Ron were painting one of the guest rooms and Harry's expression changed drastically. He turned to Ron and said, "You know I would really love to be able to live the life you led, Ron."

Ron asked him why, but Harry never really answered so the issue was not pressed any further. But for some reason he always wondered what Harry had meant, and now more than ever he wished he had made Harry explain it to him.

Walking back to the trunk Ron bent over and began thumbing through some more old pictures. There was a picture of Harry and Ginny taken at their graduation. Another of Harry and a girl Ron didn't recognize. Harry was holding her in a manner that suggested they were involved in one way or another. The girl had long curly brown hair and brown eyes. Ron shrugged and put the picture aside. She must have just been someone that Harry worked with.

One of the more recent pictures that had been taken of the three of them was just after Jack was born. The picture had been taken by Hermione's father, meaning that it did not move as most magical photos do. The picture was taken in Hermione's hospital room. She was lying on the bed, holding what appeared to be a bundle of blankets while Ron and Harry stood on either side of the bed smiling down at the sleeping infant. Now that Ron remembered the moment he had just relived in Jack's room upstairs, he realized that was the first time he had seen Harry truly happy in a very long time.

After glancing at a few other pictures of the three of them at school during their sixth year, Ron came to an article he had not seen before. It was an envelope that read his name on the front, and the handwriting was clearly Harry's. Thinking that perhaps it was a letter he had been meaning to send before he died, Ron torn the envelope open and found a very long letter. He took in deep unsteady breath and began to read as tears welled in his eyes once more.

Dear Ron,

I cannot begin to understand the grief my supposed death must have caused you, and before I go any further with this I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry.

Looking back at the nineteen and a half years of my life, I realize things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. I guess this happens to a lot of people in their lives, but I can't help but be disappointed. There are a lot of things you do not know about, things that have happened to me over the past two years. Some of these things I'm not proud of, others I'm immensely proud of.

Ron, I have a daughter! Her name is Lily Elizabeth Potter, and she is the most beautiful being that has ever graced the face of this earth. She was born three months after your son. Perhaps that was why I was happier than usual when I came to see you guys after Jack's birth. Not that I wasn't busting with happiness for you mate! But to tell you the truth I've always envied the life you and 'Mione have and I guess I was just happy I would be able to have some of that in my own life.

I was never married to Lily's mother. She and I met a few months after graduation, when I went on my first mission. I didn't tell you all about her, because…well…I just didn't want the wrong people to hear about her and try to hurt her. I didn't want you to be upset that I was seeing someone else after what happened with Ginny and I. I know you can never understand why I couldn't be with her. After what happened at the final battle, I just couldn't bring myself to put her in any more danger. What would I have done if my best friend's sister was killed because of me? I would have never been able to look you in the eye again.

Lily's mother was an American witch named Melissa. She was orphaned at the age of five and has no other family. Yes, she was an auror and we did do a lot of work together. I did not intend to care about her as much as I did when we first started dating. But I loved her very much. When she was killed a month after Lily was born, I nearly died myself. She was murdered in our home while I was at work…I found her body. I can't tell you how hard that was. I might have killed myself with grief at that very moment if I had not heard Lily crying in her crib upstairs. I ran upstairs to make sure she was okay. She was fussing and crying loudly, and when I picked her up and held her to my chest she calmed instantaneously like she always does. It was then that I realized what I had to do. The people who did this to Melissa would not think twice about doing the same to Lily, and I just couldn't live with that. They might have even come after you and your family. That is just something I can't deal with. These people are desperate Ron. I can't live in fear that you or Hermione and Jack may be hurt because of me, not when I can save you.

That's why I staged my own death. I did this so that my daughter can live and have a normal childhood. She deserves so more than I am able to give her. With me gone, the threat against her life should be gone as well, or at least I hope.

I want you to know that I have every intention of returning someday. I will go somewhere and live my life on a low key. Don't even try to come find me. I am no where you will ever be able to locate. Please know that where ever I am, I'm thinking of you all and hoping that you have found peace and settled into the life I've always wanted, and may have someday have when I return and things settle down.

I guess you are wondering why I have not told you where my daughter is now. After all, you and Hermione are her godparents. As I said before, her mother had no family to speak of. I would have left her to you, but I want her to grow up away from England. I want her to have a normal childhood, or as normal as possible for a child of mine. I have made sure that she was placed in a good facility for the children of magical parents. Her mother and I have provided for her to have a fine education, both before and during her formal schooling.

As much as I want her to belong to a family like yours, you are not her family Ron. I don't want her to grow up an outsider in your family, not that I think that is how you would treat her, but I know that is how she would feel. It is how I felt my entire life until I came to Hogwarts. This place where she will spend the next eleven years will help her belong to something. She will make friends and have a real childhood.

She will attend Hogwarts when she turns eleven, and it is my wish that after that she come and live with you. I believe by that age she will be ready to get to know you and your family. If this is something you feel you cannot do, then I understand. Please keep an eye on her once she gets to Hogwarts. She will always be in danger, like I was.

That is part of the reason why I am doing this. The further she is from England and the center of things, the less danger she is in. This orphanage that I have arranged for her to live at specializes in cases like this. Most of the children are those of people who were killed by Voldemort, or children that can't live with their parents because it is simply too dangerous. They will protect her, but more importantly, they will teach her to protect and look after herself.

I have left other items for you which will be sent to you secretly sometime in the next few weeks. Most of these things are items I want Lily to have when she is old enough. Some of them are pictures of her mother and I, my invisibility cloak, the Marauder's Map, as well as letters I have written for her to be read at specific parts of her life. As I do not know when I will be able to return, I have written her several letters for a variety of situations in her life. I want you to read them and decide when she should see them.

So, I guess that's all. I have nothing left to say other than I wish you all the best, Ron. I will leave it up to you what you tell Hermione but I want her to know the truth. She will find out in eleven years when Lily goes to school anyway, but if you don't want her to know this until that date, I understand. She is your wife, and that judgment lies with you and you alone. As for everyone else…I must ask you to not tell them. I know this is hard and I know you want to tell everyone right now. But it is very important that the world, including Lily, think Harry Potter is dead.

Be happy Ron, and I hope to see you someday…even if it is a long time from now.

Harry

p.s. Jack and Lily are only a few months apart in age. They will be in the same year in school, and I really hope they become as good of friends as we did.

Ron reread the note in disbelief. Harry was alive! After thinking things over for a few seconds, he realized that he had to tell Hermione this weekend when she came home. He knew if he rushed to tell her now it would look suspicious and the truth might get out. Besides, it was Thursday and Hermione would be home tomorrow around dinner time. But Harry was right. She should know the truth.

a/n- tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter Two: Happiness

a/n- here's the next chapter. Sorry that it's kind of long...but I tend to write long chapters. This one was added to a lot and I considered condensing it into two chapters but I didn't know where to split it. The chapter skips around quite a bit. I hope you like it!

Chapter Two: Happiness

Lily Potter walked timidly down the path between the two long house tables along with her fellow first years. When they reached the front of the hall they were asked to stand in a line and wait for their names to be called. Lily stood looking at her classmates and confusion washed over her once more. Why had she been taken here? Granted she was not the only child at the orphanage who had been sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in fact three of her closest friends, Devon Halander, Alan Glandfelter, and Christy Whitewater were going as well. But why had they been sent here and not a school in America?  
Once all the first years had filed into the hall, the headmistress, Professor McGonagall, stood up and made a few start of term announcements. The deputy headmistress Professor Granger-Weasley began to read off names once the announcements were made clear. As the names were read, a sorting hat was placed on their heads and house names were called out. Lily had been reading about this school for the past year, ever since she had been told this is where she would be schooled. She knew what the houses were for and the kind of people they represented. When Devon's name was recited he walked timorously up to the stool and sat down. The old hat thought for a few moments before saying, "SLYTHERIN!"  
Lily looked at her friend surprised that he would be placed in a house she knew had churned out countless numbers of death eaters and evil-doers over the years. Devon hopped down off the stool and ran to join his house at their table. Christy was sorted next into Hufflepuff and then Alan into Ravenclaw. When it came time for Lily to be sorted the entire hall fell silent once her name was read. When she approached the stool, Lily looked up at the professor and noticed the teacher had tears in her eyes. Lily sat down on the stool and held her head high. She knew why everyone was acting strangely toward her. She was used to it, because after all, she was the daughter of Harry Potter and had been treated this way all her life, not that she liked it in the slightest bit.

The hat was put on her head and it fell, covering her eyes. After a few seconds of silence, a voice inside the head began to talk. "Oh, I was wondering when I would have to opportunity to meet you Miss Potter. I can see you are very much like your father when it comes to bravery, but I might go as far to say that you surpass him in the brains department. Not that he wasn't witty himself of course, but your mind is extraordinary. I know exactly what to do with you, GRYFFINDOR!"  
The hat was removed from her head and Lily hopped down excitedly and ran to join her table. She took a seat next to a boy in her year who had been sorted only a few minutes earlier. He was a friendly looking kid with brown hair and blue eyes. He held out his hand as she took her seat and said, "Hi!"  
Lily extended her hand and shock his firmly, "Hi, I'm Lily Potter."  
"I'm Jack Weasley." Lily was instantly glad that he didn't make a big deal over who she was. It was nice to be treated like a normal student for once in her life.  
"Are you related to the deputy headmistress?"  
"Yeah, she's my mother. She teaches transfiguration. My dad is a professor here too. He teaches potions and he's the head of Gryffindor house."  
"Won't that be weird to be taught by your parents?"  
"No. My family has lived here for as long as I can remember. Hogwarts is more of my home than our actual house is."  
Lily and Jack talked all during the feast. Watching the children from the staff table, Ron and Hermione Weasley smiled at the memories the two of them brought back.  
"She looks a lot like Harry. Look at her hair," Hermione said as she leaned toward her husband and took his hand.  
"Yeah it's just as black as Harry's was. But her hair is rather curly. Maybe her mother's hair was curly. Did you see her eyes?"  
"Yes, they are green just like Harry's. Ron, when do you think the best time would be to talk to her about us?" Hermione tore her eyes away from her son and his new friend for the first time since they sat down at their table and looked Ron in the eye.  
"Well, I think we should invite her to spend Christmas with us. We could tell her then. It looks like her and Jack are really going to hit it off, so it shouldn't seem weird that we would ask her to spend the holidays with us," Ron replied.  
"I think that's a good idea. I have to talk to her and Jack tomorrow morning before I can give them their schedules. It seems that Lily was taught well at whatever orphanage she was sent to. She was also tested like Jack was and it has been decided that they will both be starting out in third year classes. To tell you the truth, I took a look at their tests score and they really could handle being in fourth year classes, but third year is as high as the ministry's education department would go. It appears they will be having a similar year to my third year," Hermione said, eyeing her husband sheepishly.  
"You don't mean…"  
"Yes, they will both be given time turning devices. When the ministry found out how good Lily and Jack did on the exams the ministry gave them, it was insisted upon. For some reason they have taken a very large interest in Jack and Lily," Hermione said, returning her gaze to her son and her best friend's daughter who were now laughing at something some kid had said from across the table.  
"See I told you we should never have let him read all of those books. Now he's going to be just like you," Ron said, smiling.  
"Just what are you implying Mr. Weasley? I couldn't have kept him from reading them. He soaks up information like a sponge."  
"Does this mean that they will graduate early?" Ron said, suddenly realizing how horrible that would be. He knew they would be forced to grow up more than normal students by simply being in the advanced year classes, but the idea of early graduation what just wrong.  
"No, they will study very advanced magic after they have taken the highest Hogwarts offers."  
After a few moments of silence between the couple Ron spoke in a shaky voice, "Harry would be so proud of her."  
Hermione turned to look at her husband once more. He was gazing at Lily with tears in his eyes. She gave his hand a squeeze to bring his attention back to her. "Harry _will_ be proud of her once he comes home. He's coming back, Ron, and in the meantime we need to take care of Lily and watch over her, just as Harry asked us too."  
The rest of the night passed without incident. Hermione took pictures and she and Ron talked about their hopes for the coming year, happier than they had been in years.

The next morning Lily met Jack in the Gryffindor common room and they went to breakfast together. On the way to the Great Hall, they ran into Lily's friend Allan from the orphanage.  
"Hey Lily!" Allan said happily as he noticed her walking down the hallway.  
Lily turned around and beamed at her friend. She gestured towards Jack and they both walked back to meet Allan who was behind them. "Allan, this is Jack Weasley. He's in my house."  
"Hi, I'm Allan Glandfelter."  
"Nice to meet you," Jack said as they shook hands. They all turned to walk to breakfast together.  
"Are you trying out for your house Qudditch team, Lil?" Allan asked excitedly.  
Lily looked apprehensive when she answered. "Ummm, I don't know. Maybe I'll think it over. I'm only a first year and from what the girls in my dormitory told me last night, it's really hard for a first year to get on the team."  
"You're dad was on the team as a first year," Jack said casually.  
"He was?" Lily asked in shock. No one had willingly offered information about her father's past like that before.  
"Sure he was…You didn't know?" Jack asked, rather surprised.  
"No, I didn't."  
"What position do you play?" Jack asked changing the subject back to try-outs.  
"Seeker," Lily replied.  
"I play keeper. If you want, we could go to try-outs together. We might not stand a good chance of making the team, but it's a good way to get out names out there for next year."  
"Sure, that sounds good," Lily said, smiling.  
"They'd be crazy not to want you," Allan said, laughing. "You haven't seen her play, Jack. She's amazing!"  
"Shut up, Glandfelter!" Lily exclaimed, blushing. By now they had made their way to the Great Hall and Allan had to go off and join his table. When Jack and Lily sat down, Jack noticed that his new friend was eyeing him strangely.  
"What is it?" he asked.  
"How much do you know about my father?" she wondered without hesitation.  
"My parents were best friends with him. He was my godfather," Jack said.  
"Your godfather…" Lily repeated in disbelief.  
"Yeah, and my parents are your godparents. They told me all about you and that you would be coming to Hogwarts this year. I've been hearing about Harry Potter for as long as I can remember."  
"I…I never knew I had godparents," Lily said, sounding distant.  
"Well, you do. I know they're real excited to meet you. Oh look, here comes the morning post!" Jack pointed up to the ceiling where hundreds of owls hovered, looking for their owners. One of them landed in front of Lily's bowl of cereal and held its leg out to her.  
"That one must be for you," said Jack.  
"But I never get mail," Lily said while untying the owl's burden.  
"That looks like my mother's handwriting," Jack said, pointing to the words LILY POTTER written on the envelope.  
Lily opened the letter and Jack returned to his breakfast, trying to give her some space. Inside the first envelope were another envelope and a short letter. Lily picked up the first letter and began to read.

Dear Lily,

Your father asked us to give this letter to you on your first day of school. We hope it will provide some insight into the man who loved you with all his heart. As you may already know, we were very good friends with Harry both during school and after. We are very excited about meeting you and we sincerely hope to spend some quality time together over the coming years. Please do not hesitate in seeking our help for any reason.

With love,

Ron and Hermione Weasley

Lily looked up at the staff table and found her godparents sitting together and smiling down at her, and each carried a somewhat sad expression. She smiled gratefully in return. She opened the second envelope with shaky fingers and found another letter, just as the first had promised.

To my daughter Lily,

I know this is the first time you have had any kind of letter from me directly, and I know it may come as a shock. Today, you start a whole new chapter in your life within the walls of Hogwarts. I had many wonderful times while in school, and I hope that you will find as good of friends as I did. I also have learned a number of really important lessons in my life, and some of them have proven to be more important than others. Perhaps the most important lesson is friendship. No matter how bad things get, always keep your friends close to your heart. They will help you in ways you can only imagine.  
By now you must have been informed of Ron and Hermione Weasley. They were my best friends in school and they are your godparents. Should you need anything in the coming years, whether it is advice or simply someone to laugh with, please find them. They will always be willing to help you.  
I wrote to them about you several years ago, and it is my wish that you go and live with them during the summer and on holidays now that you are in school. They will understand if you would rather stay at the orphanage, and so will I. But I must ask you to consider this. If it had not been for your protection, I would have sent you to live with them from the beginning. But at the time it was safer for you to be somewhere with more security.  
I know they can never be your parents, Lily. I deeply regret that you have had to grow up without your mother and I, like I had to grow up without your grandparents. But your Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron will love you. I know they will. Please give them a chance and let them into your heart.  
The road ahead may at times seem long and narrow. Never loose faith in who you are and all that you can become. I want you to have a full life. I love you, and I want you to know that wherever I am, I am watching over you. I'll always be there when you need me. Remember that if nothing else.

Love,  
Dad

Once she finished the letter, Lily discretely whipped away the tears attempting to fall down her face and looked back up at the staff table. Hermione was looking down at her again with tears in her own eyes. When Lily mouthed the words, "Thank you," she received a nod and warm smile in return.  
"Try-outs are at the end of the week," Jack told her when she looked back at him. He never pried to know what was in the letter. He seemed to silently understand that it was something she would tell him about when she was ready.  
"We'll have to borrow brooms from the school," Lily suggested.  
"My parents can help us."  
"I'm sure they can," Lily replied with a small smile. Perhaps Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad after all.

That Christmas Ron and Hermione took Lily home with them and their family just as they agreed they would. They told her more about their friendship with her father, and offered her a home with them when school was not in session. Ron had been afraid Lily may be angry that they had not found her after her father had died and taken her to live with them then, but she wasn't. She seemed to silently understand that things were meant to be the way they were. She even asked if it would be alright if she called them Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron when they weren't in class. Hermione cried to pieces when Lily asked this and grabbed her and hugged her so tight her face started to turn blue. Lily comfortably settled into their expanding family and became a surrogate member.  
The school year got started quietly and the students settled in to their day to day lives. Jack and Lily were inseparable. They did absolutely everything together, both in and out of class. Much to everyone's pleasant surprise, both Lily and Jack made the Gryffindor Qudditch team after attending their first try-outs. Ron couldn't have been happier, and he knew Harry would have been proud as well.  
It did not take Ron long to understand why Harry had not sent Lily to live with them right after he left. He noticed the sad expression she got when she saw Ron or Hermione playing with one of their younger children. He saw this the most when Hermione became pregnant unexpectedly when she and Jack were in their third year; they now had five sons: Jack, then Andrew, Kyle, Brandon, and Joe. Ron couldn't help but feel the deepest sorrow for Lily, who had longed for a family to love her all her life.  
Years passed at Hogwarts, each year more eventful than the last. Jack and Lily continued to be the best of friends, and they had several other people with whom they were very close. Lily, Allan, and Christy continued to be friends even though they didn't see as much of each other as they would have liked because they were in different houses. Jack and Lily became friends with Brad Garland, Dylan Jacobs, and Mea Drews who were all in Gryffindor as well.  
Jack and Lily remained the closest, however. They attended all their classes together and took comfort that the other was there, owing to the fact that they were always the youngest members of their classes. Never did you see one out of the company of the other. Not only were they linked in their friendship, but they were also linked in their magic. Shortly after Lily arrived at Hogwarts they both began to display startling magical characteristics between them that allowed them be able to communicate with each other and know each other's feelings at any given time.  
During the summer before their second year, Jack was in the kitchen with his mother and brothers eating lunch. Lily had been out in the large field behind their house flying all morning. Suddenly, Jack dropped his fork and stood up in his chair looking out the window into the vast backyard.  
"Jack honey, what is it?" Hermione asked. Ron looked at his son from over his paper.  
"It's Lily!" Jack said in a worried voice. "I think something's wrong." He then turned and bolted out the back door in search of his friend. Hermione and Ron followed close behind.  
They ran throughout the yard screaming Lily's name, but Jack seemed to know exactly where she was. She was lying on the ground unconscious near some tall oak trees.  
"Oh dear, what happened?" Hermione asked as they ran to reach their goddaughter.  
"I think she fell off her broom," Jack told them once he reached her.  
"How do you know?" Ron asked, bewildered.  
"I just know," Jack shrugged.  
Much to everyone's surprise, Jack had been right. Lily had fallen off her broom when she got dizzy in midair, but she hadn't fallen that far because she was already flying toward the ground when she felt sick. She had a broken leg, but was otherwise okay. Ron and Hermione knew from then on that Jack and Lily shared a special connection.  
In their second year a dueling club was started at the school again but this time with Ron and Hermione as the advisors. When Lily and Jack were selected to duel against each other the strangest thing happened. Soon after the duel began it was discovered that they were unable to fight against each other; no matter what incantation or spell they tried, no magic would work against the other. But if they were dueling on a team working together their magical power seemed to double. They turned out to be an unstoppable magical force, and at first this scared them a little bit. But they were good kids, used to change and growth in their magical ability and adjusted accordingly.

Toward the end of their fourth year in school however, Ron noticed a change in their relationship. It was hard to explain, but he just had a feeling about something. He noticed that Jack had changed the way he acted around Lily. He even had caught Jack staring at Lily during class or during meals. Sometimes he would glance down at them from the staff table and catch Jack staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking. It wasn't just Jack that had changed. He noticed Lily had started to do many of the same things. She seemed to be shy around him all of a sudden.  
His suspicions were not confirmed until an early summer's day before Jack's fifth year at Hogwarts. They were all at home for the school holiday. Lily and Jack had been named Qudditch co-captions for the following year and were piloting a new Qudditch camp that would start in about a week. Jack came into the study where Ron had been reading the morning paper.  
"Dad, can I talk to you about something for a minute?" Jack asked from the door.  
"Sure, son, what's on your mind?" Ron replied brightly as he set his paper aside.  
"Well, actually it's about Lily," Jack said, sitting down on the couch and looking at his father with reddened cheeks.  
"What about Lily? Is something wrong? Did you two have a fight?" Ron rambled off possible problems between the two for a few more seconds before his son looked him dead in the eye.

He knew then exactly what the problem was. Jack had developed a crush on his best friend. Ron laughed to himself for a second. "Oh, I see what you're getting at."  
"Yeah, but what can I do about it?" Jack asked. "I think she just sees me as a really good friend, maybe even a brother."  
"Jack, I've seen the way Lily looks at you lately. She doesn't think of you as a brother," Ron said, smiling even more. "You know I have some experience with these types of situations. I was once in your position with your mother. She was my best friend and I had had feelings for her for a while but I was afraid to act on them."  
"Yeah, I know. Mum's told me about how you two got together."  
"Well, it seems that the men in this family have developed a tendency to fall for their best friends. All I can tell you is to do what you're heart tells you to do. I think you'll find that Lily feels the same way about you."  
"But if I tell her how I feel and she doesn't feel the same way than I'm running the risk of losing her as a friend. She's my best friend Dad, and I don't think I can stand the idea of that changing."  
"Well, I guess you just have to ask yourself what you're going to do if one day Lily decides to see someone else. Do you think you can handle that? Because if you don't act on your feelings then it's not going to be long before someone notices how great Lily is. And whoever this guy is, he's not going to come up to you and ask for your permission. He's going to take what he wants."  
"That's what I'm afraid of."

A week and a half later Lily and Jack were sitting Indian style facing each other by the lake at Hogwarts after a long day of practice. The camp was held at Hogwarts and all the other members of the team were up in the Gryffindor common room or had already gone to bed. Lily and Jack, however, were still up talking about what they were going to be doing with the team tomorrow. It had been a long day, but for some reason neither of them were very tired.  
"I think your brother really proved himself in that drill today. Too bad he only made the team this year. He and Williams make a brilliant beater team," Lily said, looking down at her extensive notes.  
"You take notes about Qudditch like you do in class. Is there anything you don't write about?" Jack asked, taking the some of the parchment Lily had been holding and examining it closer.  
"That was uncalled for, Weasley! And for the record I think both of us have benefited from my excellent note-taking ability," Lily said, snatching her parchment back from Jack and giving him a playfully evil glare.  
"Yeah, I guess you're right about that one, Lil! What would I do without you?" Jack asked and gazed into Lily's piercing green eyes. He leaned back on his hands and continued to look at her long after she returned to reading her notes for tomorrow's practice.  
"I think we've done enough for one night. Can't we talk about something other than Qudditch for a little while?" Lily asked, standing up and putting her tactic drawings to the side and then walking over to a large oak tree to sit down again. Jack did the same and followed his friend to the tree.  
"That's a good idea, Potter. What do you want to talk about?" Jack asked as he sat down next to her.  
"Anything," she said, sounding exasperated.  
The two friends sat in silence, gaping up at the bright stars in the balmy summer sky. The both let out a long sigh at the same time and laughed at the strange coincidence.  
After few awkward moments they both stopped and found themselves staring into the eyes of the other. It was Lily who broke the self-conscious hush and tried to start light conversation.

"Your mom talked to me about starting some club up next year. She said it was something my dad started when he was in school and she thinks I should bring it back."  
Jack could never get enough of Lily's American accent. Having grown up in America she spoke different than everyone else, but Jack just thought it made her more special. Forcing himself to stop looking at her, Jack rubbed his hands together trying to distract his mind from thinking about how beautiful she was. "Yeah, they used to talk to me about that when I was little. You should think about it, Lil! You'd be great," Jack said lightly.  
Lily turned to face him and she looked deeply into his blue eyes and almost lost herself in them. "Will you help me?"

"You don't need my help for this, Lily. You could do this with your eyes closed," Jack said confidently.  
He and Lily may have been placed in the same advanced classes, but Jack had always known she was so much smarter than he was. Things just came naturally to her but this year was sure to be a hard one. They were only entering their fifth year of school, but enrolled in seventh year classes, meaning that they would be taking their NEWT exams at the end of this year. They had taken their OWLs at the end of their second year and had passed them all with flying colors. If they passed their NEWTs well enough they were going to be doing some Auror training during their sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts. Being aurors was the only thing either of them had ever considered doing.  
"Of course I need your help!" Lily said to bring Jack's attention back to her situation and away from their exams. She sat there smiling in that way that made Jack's heart beat a little bit faster. She had no idea about the effect she was beginning to have on him.  
"Why?" he asked.  
"Because you're my best friend and we do everything together," she said folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the tree.  
"Is that all I am? Your best friend…" Jack said this before he really had the chance to think about what he was saying.  
Lily looked at him more seriously now. "You've never expressed any desire to be anything more than my best friend, so I just assumed that's all you wanted."  
"What if I told you I wanted more from us than just friendship?" Jack knew the conversation they were having right now would change things between them forever. But somehow he didn't care. He needed to know the truth.  
Lily smiled wickedly and shrugged. "I guess you'll just have to tell me what you want. I promised I wouldn't read your mind anymore without your permission so…"  
Jack took a deep breath and turned so that he was facing her properly. "Lily look…you've been my best friend for nearly five years now. I don't know what my life would be like without you in it. But lately my feelings for you have changed." He knew he was sounding completely stupid, but it was the truth.  
Lily looked a little confused. "Jack, you've always been able to give things to me straight. I mean I have always known that a guy and a girl being best friends is rather odd. If…if you want to spend some time with other people you wouldn't be hurting my feelings."  
"No, that's not it…it's just the opposite actually." Jack looked away from her.  
"Jack, please just come out and say whatever it is," Lily pleaded.

He looked her in the eye and remained silent for a few lingering seconds. She never blinked or broke their eye contact. "What am I thinking?" he finally asked in a mysterious tone of voice.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"You wanted to read my mind, and now I'm giving you permission to do it. Go ahead. What am I thinking about right now?"  
Lily looked at him intensely for a few tense minutes before her cheeks grew pink and she looked down into the dirt. Jack held his breath until he saw a smile creep up her lips. "Jack, why couldn't you just tell me?" She finally responded with laughter in her voice.  
"Because I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same and then we couldn't be friends and then everything would-"  
He was unable to continue scolding her when she leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. She then pulled away just enough so that their lips weren't toughing but they could still feel each other's breath. She looked at him with her fiercely green eyes, trying to read his reaction. His silence obviously made her uneasy because she broke eye contact to look at the ground and began to pull further away. When Jack saw her retraction he put a hand behind her neck and pulled her gently towards him. After a kiss that lasted for what seemed like hours the two pulled away and looked at each other cautiously.  
"Was that what you wanted?" Lily asked after a few more minutes of silence.  
"Yeah, but I guess you already knew that," Jack said as he stood up, taking hold of her hands to helped her to her feet but he didn't let them go once she was standing beside him.  
"Just promise me that no matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend," he asked, studying her face to see what she was thinking.  
"As long as you promise me that whatever happens, you'll always be my best friend," Lily replied, "And besides, Weasley, I know you're hopeless without me so I know we'll always have to be friends," she concluded with a devilish smile.  
"Is that so, Potter?" Jack said, letting go of her hands and grabbing her around the waist. She knew exactly what he was going to do though and suddenly ran away from him at top speed. They reached a part of the grounds along the backside of the castle that was littered with small trees and brush. Jack lost her in the forestry.  
"Okay, I give up! Where are you?" Jack called out into the open, holding his hands up in defeat. Seconds later he felt someone jump on his back and laugh in his ear. He caught Lily's legs behind her knees which kept her from falling off his back.  
"Funny, Lil. You're a real prankster," he said in words dripping with sarcasm, "But I guess we'd better get back up before someone sends a search party for us. We've been out here for hours." Jack turned and started walking back to the castle with Lily still on his back.  
"I guess you're right. Wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea," she said mockingly.  
"Oh, I would!"  
Lily jumped down off Jack's back and stood in front of him preventing him from moving any further toward the castle. Her expression and tone were serious this time, "Jack, what are we going to tell everyone? What are we going to tell your parents?"  
"You act like what we're doing is wrong or something. Besides, I don't think I'm going to be able to hide this from everyone for long," he replied taking a step towards her.  
"I guess you're right about that…But what about your parents Jack? I don't want them to be mad about this. You guys are the only family I have ever known and I don't want to lose that," she said, looking down at her feet.  
Jack took her hand in his and ordered, "Look at me." When she kept her eyes firmly fixed on the ground he forced her to look him in the eye by placing his a finger from his free hand beneath her chin, "Nothing like that is ever going to happen to make them stop loving you. Do you understand me?"  
A single tear was making its way down her cheek until Jack reached his hand up to wipe it away. She nodded her head in agreement but he could tell she was not all that convinced.  
He tried to reassure her some more by adding, "I talked to my dad about this before we left. I told him I had feelings for you, and I didn't know what to about them. He's the one who persuaded me to tell you how I really felt. My parents love you like a daughter and that is never going to change."  
"You don't know how lucky you are to have them," she said with longing in her voice as she once again looked down to the ground. Silent tears made their way freely down her cheek and fell to the dirt below. "I never had anyone to care about what happened to me until I came here."

"I'm sure the people at the orphanage cared about you," Jack told her.

"That's not what I mean, Jack. I've never had someone to worry about what happens to me. No one ever read me stories at night when I was little. No one ever held my hand when I was hurt or sick. This is the only family I've ever known."

Once again Jack forced Lily to look him in the eye. "Lily, they love you just as much as you love them. I know they have not always been in your life, but they love you as one of their own."  
"But they're not my parents, Jack. You don't know what it was like growing up the way I did. At the orphanage I was reminded everyday just how short life was. Some of the children there where only there for a short time while their parents were on missions for the auror department or other magical law enforcement. Sometimes their parents would return and take them home, sometimes they didn't. The people who ran the orphanage had us dueling against each other when we were six and seven years old. We were taught never to trust anyone."

Jack found himself momentarily unable to speak. Lily rarely spoke about the orphanage, and this must have been why. "You say your parents set it up for you to live in that place?" Jack wondered. Who in their right mind would want their child to grow up in an environment like that?

"My father," she answered looking away. "He thought I'd be safe there."

"And were you?"

He knew he'd struck a cord by the look on her face. "I'm here aren't I?" She half-heartedly answered.

"That's not what I asked. Did you feel safe there?" Jack asked with slightly more force.

Lily thought about her answer for several seconds before she said, "No," in a hushed tone of voice. "I've never known what safety felt like, until I met you and your family. But this isn't my father's fault, and I don't blame him for it. It may not have been the most ideal place to grow up, but like I said, I am alive. I don't know if I would be if he had sent me anywhere else."

"He still shouldn't have put you in a place like that. He should have sent you to live with us."

"To feel like an outsider from the very beginning…I don't think so. My dad was an orphanage himself. He knows what it feels like," Lily said before thinking.

"Lily, we've never treated you like an outsider," Jack said defensively.

Her facial expression softened and she lightly touched his shoulder, taking a step towards him. "I know that. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel like an intruder sometimes. You're parents are not my biological parents. They may love me as if I was their daughter, but at the end of the day that doesn't change how I feel."  
"You said they taught you not to trust anyone. But you trusted me," Jack reminded her, trying to lighten the mood. In truth he really wanted to hear more about Lily's life before Hogwarts. He knew something had happened to her just a few months before she came to school, but she refused to talk about it.  
"You were different. There was just something about you that made me trust you," Lily said this time willingly looking him in the eye.  
"I'm always going to be here Lil," Jack said. "Now how about we get you to bed. Not that you need beauty sleep."  
Playfully hitting him on the shoulder and running up the stairs into the castle, Lily replied, "I haven't turned you into a big old softy have I? Because you know that's not going to help us one bit of good on match day!"  
"Well, in that case, get your ass to bed Potter before I have to bench you," Jack said now running through the castle towards Gryffindor tower laughing the entire way.

"We'll see you guys on September first!" Jack heard Lily say as they stepped into the fireplace to floo home just moments after his brother Andy had left. Camp was over and everyone was eager to get home and enjoy the rest of their summer, though they had had a blast getting to practice together for the past week.  
A living room began to materialize in front of their eyes, and after the room stopped spinning, Jack and Lily stepped out of the fireplace hand in hand. The room was empty but they could hear Hermione and Ron talking with Andy about something in the kitchen.  
"We're home," Jack called as his mother and father came into the room. Lily dropped his hand like it was fire and grabbed her duffle bag which was lying on the floor beside her feet. She walked over and said hello to Jack's parents, giving each of them a stiff hug.  
"I'm going upstairs to unpack," she announced with a nervous glance back at Jack who hadn't moved from his spot by the fireplace. Obviously their talk the night they had gotten together had not gotten through to her, Jack thought to himself. She bounded up the stairs and out of sight.  
"How was camp?" Hermione asked as she grabbed her son into a tight hug.  
"Great," Jack answered, looking at his father who was giving him a questioning look.  
"You told her, didn't you," Ron said, ignoring the confused looks he was getting from Hermione.

Jack sat down heavily in the closest armchair and nodded his head. "Yeah, I told her. And everything was fine until just now…Well, I guess that's not all together true," Jack added referring to their discussion after their encounter at the tree.  
"What are you talking about?" Ron asked as he and Hermione took a seat on the couch in front of him. Hermione was beginning to understand what was going on, but she didn't ask any questions. She and Ron had talked about this situation while the kids were away at camp, so she wasn't completely clueless about what was going on.  
"She and I had a little…er…discussion about all of this. We both came to the conclusion that we wanted more from each other and I thought everything was fine. Then she got all worried about what we were going to tell everyone."  
"You mean the team," Ron assumed.  
"Well, yes and no. She mentioned the team but it was really you guys she was, and apparently still is, worried about," Jack said, sitting back and looking defeated. "We talked about it and I thought I'd convinced her that you guys loved her and that you wouldn't be mad."  
"She thinks we'd be mad about this?" Hermione asked, now fully understanding what they were talking about.  
"Yeah," Jack replied.  
"That's ridiculous," Ron said, shaking his head. He loved Lily like she was his daughter and it hurt him to think that she didn't know it. Hermione was about to chime in but a cry interrupted her from the floor above. She stood up and walked to the door.  
"I guess your brother is up from his nap," she called over her shoulder, trying to sound jolly.  
"Was she very upset?" Ron wondered once Hermione had gone up the stairs.  
Jack nodded his head. "She started crying. I've never seen Lily cry. She told me how lucky I am to have you guys."  
Ron sighed and leaned forward with his elbows in his knees. "Do you want me to talk to her?"  
"Do you think that would help?"  
"It might," Ron said, looking closer at his son who still hadn't met his eye. "You know we love Lily like she was our daughter, right?"  
"I know that. I just don't think she does," Jack answered with his eyes still down.  
"Lily's not used to trusting people. She inherited that from her father. Why don't you go upstairs and unpack while I go have a talk with that girlfriend of yours."  
Jack smiled widely and nodded his head as they both walked toward the stairs and to the floor above in silence.  
"Did it feel good to get all that off your chest?" Ron asked quietly.  
"Yeah, but I also realized that I've had feelings for her for as long as I've known her. I was just too afraid to act on them until now."  
"Well, I'm glad you did," Ron said as Jack entered his room and shut the door. Ron continued down the hallway until he reached Lily's bedroom door. He knocked softly and he heard her say "come in" in a muffled voice. Walking in the room and closing the door behind him he found her still unpacking her things. He took note of how little progress she had made. She had been up here the whole time while Jack was talking to him downstairs, and he came to the conclusion that she hadn't been unpacking at all until she heard the voices of people coming up the stairs.  
"So, camp was good," he said, trying to start the conversation off lightly.  
"It was a lot of fun. I think the guys enjoyed themselves quite a bit." She took a seat on her bed and Ron took a seat in the armchair by the window and turned it to face her.  
"What's it like being captain this year?"  
"It's strange, really," she said thoughtfully. "I feel like I don't really deserve it."  
"Trust me; I've seen you and Jack play. You both deserve this. It takes a really good Qudditch player to make any house team their first year in school. Your father was the first person to do make Gryffindor's team as a first year in over a century."  
"They were quick to inform me of that when they offered me a spot on the team," Lily said, sounding a little down.  
"You are so much like him. You know that?" Ron looked at Lily with a heavy heart. It was times like these that were the hardest to keep Harry's secret; when she looked at him with those eyes, wanting so much to know the father, who unbeknown to her, was out there somewhere.  
"I guess I really wouldn't know," Lily said, driving another stake into her godfather's heart.  
Ron decided to change the subject because this topic was never a very happy one. "Jack told me about what happened at camp this week," Ron confessed.  
"I had a hunch he was going to," Lily said, playing with her hands in her lap.  
"Lily, I never had the privilege of having a daughter of my own." Ron began seeing her eyes fall to the floor and looking extremely sad. He continued his thought before she could get a word in. "Until you came to Hogwarts. When I first learned that Harry had a daughter I was absolutely thrilled. He wrote me a letter which I didn't get to read until he was gone. He told me all about you and why he sent you to the orphanage instead of sending you here. I was angry at first. I wanted to meet you and watch you grow up. And unfortunately, by the time you came to Hogwarts you were more or less grown up already. I don't know what made you grow up so fast and I hope one day you'll be able to tell us about your childhood and whatever it is that happened before you came to school." He saw her face tense up as he mentioned this last bit and knew she was surprised he had noticed this fact about her. In truth, it would have been hard not to notice her strange behavior when certain subjects were brought up. This was something he had struggled with since he met her. This part of her life she kept under lock and key.  
"I'm just not ready to talk about that yet," she said, looking him in the eye.  
"I understand that. Your Aunt Hermione and I love you, Lily. That is not going to change no matter what. I know you missed out on a lot when you were younger and you don't know how much I would have wanted to give you the childhood you deserved to have. But I can't go back and re-write the past. You dad did what he did for a reason, and it's not my place to question his judgment."  
"I'm sorry I wasn't very warm downstairs. It just scared me to think of what it would be like to not be here with all of you. You're the only people who have ever loved me for who I am and I don't want to loose that."  
Ron stood up and walked the short distance to his goddaughter. He took her hands and pulled her to her feet and into a large bear hug. "We're not the only ones who have loved you Lily. Your father loved you very much, that I can be sure of. And although I didn't have the opportunity of knowing your mother I am sure she loved you a great deal. We are always going to be your family, you need to understand that."  
"I'm trying," she said against his chest. Ron felt her tears on his shirt and it nearly broke his heart to think of how different their lives would be if Harry was here.

a/n- tell me how you like it! Or if you didn't like it!


	4. Chapter Three: All Down Hill

Chapter Three: All Down Hill

A/N  
This chapter also skips around quite a bit! This is necessary so we can get to the heart of the story faster. Hope you like it!

The next year brought many challenges for Lily and Jack, but their relationship never wavered. Sure, they had their fair share of fights, but things were working out fine. Gryffindor won the house cup for the fifth year in a row and Lily and Jack started up the DA again at Hogwarts. The students really seemed to like the club and both Lily and Jack were brilliant at teaching. At the end of the year the two took their NEWT exams and passed with the highest percentages in Hogwarts history. They even had Hermione beat in some subjects. They were informed that some aurors from the ministry would be coming to Hogwarts five days a week to train them for the next two years, which would mean by the time they graduated Hogwarts they would be fully certified and ready to take jobs.   
Lily made a surprise move and decided she also wanted to learn more about becoming a healer. The new Hogwarts healer, Madam Jefter, was thrilled to have a student show such interest in her line of work. She gave Lily a book list and on the days and nights she didn't have auror training, including weekends, she would report to the hospital wing for healer training. On the days she had auror training she would have to come later after dinner.  
Between healer and auror training, the DA, and Qudditch, Jack and Lily were sure to have a very busy year. They had wanted to spend the summer before their sixth year in leisure after Qudditch camp was over. Unfortunately that hope was dashed when two strangers came knocking on the Weasley's door a week after Qudditch camp had ended…

"Hello, may I help you?" Hermione answered the door and holding it open, allowed the two men to come into their home.   
The two men held out badges Hermione immediately recognized as auror badges. "My name is Cooks, Mrs. Weasley, and this is my partner Dexter. We're from the auror department and we need to speak with your son Jack and Lily Potter. We were told we could find her here."   
"Lily lives here," Hermione answered, trying to stall and hoping that Ron would take a hint for once in his life and come to help her.  
"It is a matter of urgency Mrs. Weasley. We need to speak to your son and Lily at as soon as possible," Cooks said in a stately tone of voice.  
"Who are they Mum?" Jack asked, entering the room holding a bottle of water in his left hand.   
"Might you be Jack Weasley?" Dexter asked, taking a step towards him.   
"Yes and who would you be?" Jack replied apprehensively.   
"We can discuss all that in private. We need to speak with Lily Potter as well. Do you know where she is?" Cooks questioned, crossing his arms across his chest.  
"Lily's around," Jack said, looking at his mother for help. Hermione just shrugged her shoulders. She was quite aware of Jack and Lily's intentions of entering auror training, but it was too soon for them to be going on any real missions. Jack had only turned sixteen days before and Lily wouldn't be sixteen until October, though she knew both of them were wise beyond their years. It was not the first time the ministry had called on them for help over the past six years and it would not be the last. But for the most part they had dealt with a smaller branch of magical law enforcement, never aurors.   
"Did someone say my name?" Lily said, emerging from the living room holding a thick black book and taking off her glasses. She only wore them to read, unlike her father who needed them on a regular basis to see clearly, but Hermione could not help but think of Harry when she saw Lily with her glasses on.   
Lily walked over to stand next to Jack and he put a protective arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side.

"We need to talk to the both of you in private. I have orders to escort you down to the ministry immediately," Cooks said, opening up the front door and stepping aside, assuming Jack and Lily would follow him.  
"Hold on a minute! What is this all about? Have we done something wrong?" Jack asked, sounding annoyed.  
"No, you have done nothing wrong. The auror department obviously knows of your intentions to begin training come this autumn, and well…we need a favor. Rather the department needs a favor. You need to come with us now. Time is of the utmost importance," Cooks said, walking towards them and taking Jack by the elbow. "We'll hopefully have them back by dinner time, Mrs. Weasley."   
Dexter did the same to Lily, and before Hermione could do anything the four of them were out of sight. They had obviously apparated to the ministry. "RON!" She turned and ran to find her useless husband who was never around when she needed him.

In a matter of moments Jack and Lily found themselves in a small and damp cave surrounded by half a dozen men in auror uniforms.   
"Well this sure as hell isn't the ministry," Jack said under his breath, looking around.   
One man stepped forward. "I'm sorry if we frightened you, Mr. Weasley, Miss Potter. But the secrecy is needed in this instance. We need two young people with an obvious magical connection and genuine love for each other to do some undercover work for the auror department and you're all we've got. I'm Richard Luis by the way. I'm head of the auror department."  
Jack and Richard shook hands but Lily's hands remained folded across her chest. There was something about this guy that rubbed her the wrong way.   
"We know who you are, but what kind of undercover work are you talking about?" Jack wondered immediately after shaking the man's hand.  
"We need you to pose as a newly married couple and attend a party at a wealthy wizarding family's house. Jack you will be pretending to be a young death eater eager to please and Lily you will play his loving and supportive wife."  
"Just what family is this?" Jack asked.   
"Draco Malfoy's."  
"You want us to go to a party at Draco Malfoy's home and expect us to convince him we're a bunch of death eaters. Do you know how much that man hates my family?" Jack responded as he put his hands in his pockets and laughed slightly. He glanced back at Lily who was becoming paler by the second, and she looked like she was having trouble breathing. She stared at the rocky floor with wide eyes looking completely terrified. He took one hand out of his pocket and grabbed her trembling hand, trying to bring her out of her trance, but the effort was useless. She continued to stare off at nothing.   
"Well, you'll have to do some acting, and your appearances will be altered so that know one will know who you are," Luis reassured them.  
"W…What do you need to know about this inner circle of death eaters anyway?" Lily asked finally, breaking her long silence. She spoke in a shaky voice almost as if she was going to be sick any minute.   
"We know they're planning something. We just need to know what it is and why they're doing it. To tell you the truth, the less you know about what we know, the better off you'll be in case something happens," Luis said, glancing back at his colleagues.

"So you want us to go into this inner circle completely blind, is that it?" Jack asked.  
"Your parents are being informed of our plan as we speak. We have to tell them everything due to the fact that you are not of age. As they are Lily's guardians they will be informed of her involvement as well. We are going to leave you to think about this and talk to each other. I'll have Cooks and Dexter waiting outside the cave to take you home. The mission begins tomorrow night. You do not have long to decide. As was mentioned before, time is crucial." Richard had just gotten the last words of this out of his mouth before he led everyone but Jack and Lily out of the cave.   
Jack stood there stunned and Lily turned to face the wall of the cave, letting go of his hand. Jack spoke first, "So they want us to pose as just your everyday happily married death eater couple. Is that what you gathered?"  
"You don't know death eaters, Jack. There is no such thing as a happily married death eater couple," Lily said under her breath as she ran her hands through her hair nervously.   
Jack walked over to her and turned her to face him. She looked scared to death. "Lily, everything is going to be okay, you know that right? I'm not going to let anything happen to you if we agree to this."   
"You don't know how death eaters treat their wives Jack," Lily said, looking away.   
"Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?" Jack asked, moving slightly so he was again in her line of vision.   
She closed her eyes and reopened them slowly, as if to regain her composure. She spoke in a voice barely above whisper, "I can't tell you about that now. Please don't make me."   
Jack took her in his arms and held her tightly. "I'm never going to make you do anything. And we don't have to take this mission. We can tell them no."  
Lily pulled away ever so slightly so that she could look up at him. "No we have to take it, they're testing us."  
After standing there for a few moments holding each other, Jack started walking toward the cave opening. "We'd better tell them our answer and get home before my parents freak out."   
Jack and Lily returned home to find two very anxious parents waiting for them. They explained everything that had been said and discussed in the cave and the next day they attended the party. Neither of them was ever allowed to talk about what they had found out, but during the following months several arrests were made and a number of prominent people were sentenced to life terms in prison. Jack and Lily were always eager to avoid the subject of that particular mission.   
Much to Ron and Hermione's dismay, the ministry used Jack and Lily to pose as the same couple at numerous social events throughout the summer and the following year. By the middle of the year they were also going on small weekend missions together, which they were also forbidden to talk about. Their lives seemed to spiral downhill from there.

Christmas was a bit more welcome than usual during Lily and Jack's six year at Hogwarts. They had been working so hard during the first term that it seemed to spring up out of nowhere. They hardly had any time to spend together when they weren't working on Quidditch stuff, prefect duties, auror training, or one of their weekend missions with the auror department. On top of that Lily had her healer training. Things had been rough the past few months and they were both thankful to have some time off.   
Jack's family had decided to take a trip to America to visit his Aunt Ginny. But the auror department asked Lily and Jack to remain on call in England in case something happened, so they decided to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays.   
They had the whole castle to themselves for the most part, because no other students stayed behind, except for the three other people who had gone to the same orphanage as Lily had before coming to Hogwarts. Lily was only friends with two of them, and the third none of them talked to because Devon had been sorted into Slytherin house and he had not been the same since. He made new and powerful friends and didn't want to be associated with his old ones. The truth was he was growing more dangerous by the day, and Lily was worried that he may be in over his head.   
One afternoon about three days before Christmas, Jack entered the common room to find Lily wrapped up in a blanket reading a book by the fire. Her soft black curls were pulled into a low pony tale at the base of her neck sending curls cascading down her back and over one of her shoulders. Her hair was the longest he had ever seen it, about halfway down her back. She was so breathtakingly beautiful, and she didn't see to know it. It was small moments like this one that he would never forget for as long as he lived. He walked over to her slowly and she looked up at him when he reached her chair.   
She smiling sweetly. "Hey, I was wondering where you'd gone to."  
"I was in the library working on the background for that mission we have right after term starts. But then I decided to find you because I hadn't seen you today. You were still asleep when I woke up and I didn't have the heart to wake you," Jack said as he bent over and kissed her gently before taking a seat by the fire in another arm chair. Since no one was in the dormitory now that Christmas holiday had began, Lily and Jack stayed up in his dormitory, sleeping in the same bed.  
"I was tired," she said, looking back at the fire and closing her book. "Any luck in the library?"  
"No, not really. But I don't want to talk about that now. Why don't we go for a walk out by the lake? We haven't done that in ages," Jack said, standing up and grabbing Lily's hand, pulling her to her feet beside him.   
"Sure, just let me get my cloak and shoes," she said as she turned and ran up to her dormitory. Jack sat back down in her chair and picked up the book she was reading. It was a healer book that Madam Jefter was having her read. He was lost after reading the first few sentences of the introduction; magical medical terminology was something he would never understand.   
After a few minutes of flipping through the pages he felt Lily's arms encircle him from behind the armchair as she hugged him around the shoulders and kissed his cheek. "Is there anything in there you fancy Mr. Weasley?"  
Jack stood up and cast the book aside. He walked around the chair and pulled her to his body, kissing the tip of her nose. "No, but I fancy you."   
"Well, after all this time you've finally figured that out. You sure are slow…"She meant to go on but was silenced when Jack brought his lips to hers, preventing her from saying another word.   
He pulled away and looked at her subjectively. "Now look at what you've made me do! I totally forgot what we were planning on doing!"   
"We were going for a walk by the lake," she answered, taking his hand and leading him out the portrait hole, through the castle, and into the bitter cold. Once they were outside, she snuggled closer to him for warmth and he put an arm around her.

"I wish it could always be like this," she said with longing in her voice.  
"Why, Miss Potter…am I to presume you are not totally in love with the life we lead?" he asked, nudging her a little to get her to look up at him.  
"It's not that I don't love it, its just that sometimes I wish we could be just be a normal couple with normal problems and not have to worry about all these other things getting in the way." They took a seat by their favorite tree, the same tree where they had shared their first kiss.   
"I guess I can understand that. Things have been rough lately. But as long as I have you, even the worst day doesn't seem so bad," Jack said, pulling her shivering body closer to him as she snuggled up to his chest. "One day we'll look back on this and think these were the best years of our lives."   
"You sound like your father," she said, laughing.  
"Yeah, he's always saying that to me. I guess it's because some of the best years of his life were while he was in school," he said, looking over at the frozen lake.   
"It's funny to think how different our experience here has been compared to your parents' and what I know about my father's," she said, rubbing her hands together trying to get some warmth into her fingertips. They lost themselves in the winter wonderland around them for a few minutes. An owl took flight from somewhere in the castle and they both watched it fly off into the distance and out of sight completely.   
Jack was the one who broke the silence, "What do you think it'll be like when our kids come to school? Do you think they'll have a more normal time than we have had?"  
Lily looked up at him and smiled, "You want to have children with me?"  
He laughed at her. "Yes Potter, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you one day if you'll have me, and have dozens of kids with you, and be the happiest people in the entire wizarding world!"  
"And are you going to give birth to all these children?"  
"No, I think that'll have to be your job! I love you more than anything in the whole world and there is no one I would rather have children with than you."  
"You know, I don't think I'm a very good influence on you! You've gone soft, Weasley!"  
Jack jumped up from where he was sitting, grabbed a handful of snow, and held his hand up as if he would hurl it at her at any second. She jumped up and ran around the side of the tree. He followed her and soon they found themselves running around the trunk of a tree at top speed. Finally Lily stopped and held up her hands. "Ok I give up! I surrender!"  
"And you think surrendering is going to save you Potter," Jack said, walking towards her with the snowball still in his hand.  
"Please, Jack, have a little compassion! You wouldn't do that to me," she said, half laughing but trying her hardest to be serious.

"Oh, and why wouldn't I?" Jack asked, completely forgetting about the snowball and allowing it to fall out of his hand onto the ground. He walked over to her and put his hands on her hips.  
"Because you're completely head over heels in love with me and you couldn't live without me if you tried," she said before standing on her toes and bringing her lips lightly to his.  
"Someday I'll be able to show you just how much I love you," he said pulling her into his chest beginning to notice how cold she was. He was about to suggest they go inside when she looked up at him again. Her eyes were the most irresistible part of her. He often lost himself in their depth, and this time was no exception. He lowered his head to hers and kissed her full on the lips. As their kiss deepened he leaned her against the tree and his hands found her hair. After a good ten or fifteen minutes of intensity, Lily pulled away shivering slightly.   
"I think it's time we get you inside, Potter. You're freezing and so am I. We can finish this in the common room," Jack concluded, as he started walking toward the castle with Lily under his arm.

Hours later the Jack sat alone by the fire reading a book. Lily had gone up to bed hours ago, but he wasn't quite tired enough so he stayed behind. Without even realizing it, he had fallen asleep on the comfortable couch due to the pleasant warmth of the fire.   
Something in the back of his mind caused him to wake up suddenly and knock his book off his lap. The fire had long since gone out, and after checking his watch he realized that it was almost three in the morning. Deciding he'd better get up to bed, he stood up and kicked his book to the side out of his walking path. Climbing the stairs was difficult because there was no light. He nearly fell twice before he reached the sixth year boys' rooms. He opened the door and saw the shadow of someone rolling back and forth on his bed.   
He walked over to the bed and found Lily asleep, but curled up in a ball with tears running down her face. She was having another nightmare. She had had a few of them over the past few months, but they were growing worse. Jack tried to get her to see a healer, but she utterly refused saying she was fine and that they would pass with time.   
"Lily, wake up," Jack said, shaking her and turning her on her back.  
"NO, PLEASE DON"T HURT ME!" she screamed, taking a strong hold of the wrists of his hands with a expression of terror that he could see faintly with the small amount of light coming through the window to their right. She was awake now and staring at him in disbelief.   
He pulled her body up into a sitting position and held her close to him. He rubbed her back trying to make her feel safe. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never hurt you, you know that! Lil, you've got to tell me what happens in these dreams."   
"I…I really don't want to talk about it tonight. Can't we just go back to sleep," she said, holding him tighter and showing how scared she really was.  
"No, not until you tell me what's going on. You always say we'll talk about it later. This has got to be the fifth time I've had to wake you up from one of those dreams since last summer. And that's only when we're home so there's no telling how many times you have them when I'm not around," Jack said, growing angry. He was tired of her avoiding the subject.   
"They're just nightmares. Everyone has them every once in a while. So what if I have them a little more often than most people do? And if you don't like being bothered by having to wake me up than I can just go sleep in my own bed and you won't have to worry about me or my stupid dreams!"  
She pried herself from his arms and stood up walking towards the door. He ran after her taking her arm and spinning her around. "That's not what I meant and you know it, Lily Potter! I have never in my life thought of you as a burden! Now will you please come back to bed and talk to me about this."  
"No! How would you ever be able to sleep if I have another one dream? You may have to save me again," she spat at him and ripped her arm from his grasp and left the room.  
Jack stood there, stunned. How did this turn into an argument between the two of them? He figured she needed a few minutes to compose herself, or so he hoped, and he left her alone for a while. After about ten minutes he walked down the steps again and found the fire glazing once more. She was sitting in the far corner away from the heat of the fire and shivering.   
"I'm sorry," she said, sounding like she had been crying. "I didn't mean to blow up at you like that. I'm just not ready to talk about the dreams or the memory they're caused by."   
Jack took a deep breath and sat down on the cold floor next to her, putting an arm around her freezing body. She leaned against his shoulder and took his other hand.   
"I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. Just promise me you'll tell me one day soon?"  
"I promise. Do you forgive me for being such a pain in the ass?"  
He laughed at her blunt remark. "I guess that depends on if you make it up to me."  
"What exactly do I have to do?" she asked, looking up at him with wide eyes.  
"Come up to bed with me and go to sleep with no argument," he answered before kissing her suggestively. After a good ten minute snog session he pulled away and looked down into her now sparkling eyes. "You know I really had every intention of just going up to bed. I didn't mean to do that. You have that affect of me, Potter!"  
"I'm glad to see I haven't lost my touch," she said, looking pleased with herself. She stood up and took his hand leading him to the stairs.

"Lily looks tired," Ron said to his son the night after they returned from their trip to see Ginny in America.   
"She is," Jack replied nonchalantly, looking off into the distance. They were sitting on the steps leading up to the front doors. They often came here to sit and talk with each other when life inside the castle walls was a little bit to intense.   
"Any reason why?" Ron pressed, trying to draw Jack out of his trance. He seemed very preoccupied at the moment.  
Jack looked at him for a second as if he was going to divulge some information, but then thought better of it and looked away again. "No idea," he replied simply with no emotion.  
Ron chuckled at his son's expression. "I sure hope they haven't been giving you lying lessons. Because if they have, then you most be failing miserably. I know you know what's going on. You can tell me, Jack. I love her too and I've noticed a change in her over the past few months."   
Looking back to Ron, Jack took a deep breath and told him the truth. "She's been having these dreams lately."  
"What kind of dreams?" Ron asked him.   
"I have no idea. I just find her tossing and turning and sometimes screaming. She says she doesn't want to talk about them."  
"Have you tried to force her to talk to you about them?" Ron asked, now worried himself.  
"I have, but she kind of blew up at me. We had a huge fight about it and later on that night I found her in the common room. She looked like she'd been crying. Dad, you know Lily almost as well as I do. Lily doesn't cry unless it's over something big."

"I know," Ron replied almost regretfully looking off into the distance.

"I don't think it's such a good idea to push her to do things she isn't ready for. But I can't help her if I don't know what it is that's bothering her."  
"When did they start?"  
"After we went on that mission last summer--the first one."  
"Her father used to have very vivid dreams all the time," Ron said, looking away from Jack this time. Even though Harry was out there somewhere, Ron and Hermione had spent years acting as if he were dead. Sometimes it felt like he really was dead at times.   
"I wish he was here to help her through this. I'm completely useless," Jack stated, sounding overwhelmed.   
Ron placed a hand on Jack's back. "You're not useless, Jack, not by any meaning of the word. You help her a lot more than you think you do. Maybe she just needs time."  
"I hope that's all it is."  
"Just try not to _make_ her talk about it. Let her bring it up. But promise me you'll come to me if they get worse or change in any way. Her father left me and your mother to look after her and I don't want to let him down."  
"I promise," Jack said, forcing a smile.  
"Okay then, go find that beautiful girl of yours," Ron said, giving Jack a playful shove.   
"I'll see ya around, Dad," Jack called over his shoulder as he walked up the stairs and into the castle. It was after eight-o-clock and the students were all in their dormitories by now. He made his way to Gryffindor tower quickly, hoping to find Lily in the common room. He hadn't seen her at dinner and wanted to know where she was. After saying the password (Sliver Qudditch Snitches), he was disappointed to find that she was not there.   
"Dylan, have you seen Lily?" Jack asked his friend who was sitting on the sofa by the fire doing homework.   
Dylan didn't look up from his book and pointed to the spiral staircase. "Yeah, she's up in our dorm sleeping. She was in there when I came back from dinner."  
"Thanks," Jack mumbled as he walked up the stairs and to his familiar dorm room door. Praying that she wasn't having another nightmare, he pushed open the door. She was sleeping peacefully on her back with her left arm up under his pillow. Her tie was off and lying on the chair by his bed and her shirt had two buttons undone. He walked over to her slowly and sat down in the edge of the bed. He was about to leave her alone so she could get some rest when he saw a blue spot in the opening at the top of her shirt below her collar. He moved the fabric over and saw that it was a bruise, a deep blue and purple bruise that he didn't recognize. He knew he would be violating her privacy by doing what he was about to do, but he also knew he had to find out what was happening in her dreams. He gently took her hand and focused for a few seconds before entering her mind.

Once there, he saw the fuzzy image of whatever dream she was having. All he could really see was a large ridged stone wall and a little girl lying down next to it. The girl looked bloody and very sick. He was more alarmed when he realized the girl had long, curly black hair.   
Unconsciously, Jack dropped Lily's hand at the sight of seeing the little girl. That couldn't possibly be Lily, could it? He decided that he wouldn't tell her that he had been inside her mind, because it might make her more upset. But he was going to wake her up and at least let her know he was there.   
"Hey, are you going to take over my bed tonight or what?" Jack whispered, kissing her on the forehead as she began to wake up.   
"Jack," she said, sounding very sleepy as she opened her eyes and blinked several times.   
"Who else would be kissing you?" Jack teased.  
"No idea," she fired back, placing her hands behind his neck, "What time is it?"  
"After eight."  
"I can't believe I slept that long!"  
"You just go right back to sleep. I'm coming to bed too in a second. I just want to change." He decided not to mention the bruise. For all he knew it could be from Qudditch practice.  
"I should go to my dorm," she declared, though she made no effort to get up.   
"I think you should stay right where you are. No one here cares if you sleep in my bed."  
"Okay, I'll sleep for a little while. But then I'm going back to my bed." She stated getting under the covers and curling up.   
"I don't think so," Jack said as he pulled off his shirt and pants. He put a shirt on to go with his boxers and climbed into bed. "I like you right here with me."  
"Is that so?" she said in a voice dripping with sleepiness.   
"Go to sleep, love," he gently told her, closing his own eyes and closing the curtains using his wand. They were both asleep in seconds.

a/n- Tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter Four: Hogwarts Under Fire

Chapter Four: Hogwarts under Fire

A/N

Hope you like this one! I cried writing it, but it was fun!

Several months later Jack and Lily were out by the Qudditch pitch going over some things for their match against Ravenclaw the following weekend. It was late March and for the first time since the Christmas Holidays they were able to stay at school for the entire weekend. Nothing was really going on at the auror department at the moment. The death eaters seemed to be maintaining a low profile and were not causing any trouble.

Stepping out of the caption's office hand in hand Jack and Lily made their way out of the stadium and towards the castle where they saw flashes of light thought various windows. They stopped dead in their tracks and looked at each other in confusion. It wasn't until they heard screams that they began to sprint toward the castle. Once inside they got separated amiss all the chaos of the raging battle.

For the first time since the final battle with Voldermort, Hogwarts castle was under assault. Death eaters roamed the halls which were once filled with the laughter of students. The attack was expected and considered imminent, but no one could have guessed how bad things would be in the end, or that they would attempt an attack at Hogwarts. Death eaters had sworn to get even with whoever was responsible for putting so many of their number behind bars. These days the death eaters were unorganized and unpredictable, which made them harder to deal with.

When the battle was over several hours later, good once again triumphed over evil, but not without a price. Several of the ministry's aurors had been killed in the process, and the school was once again in shambles.

Lily Potter woke up and found herself in the dungeon where potion classes were once held years ago. The last thing she remembered was being in a duel with a death eater, watching him fall to his knees, and then waking up just now.

Groaning in pain she noticed that her shoulder was dislocated, but other than a few minor scrapes and bruises she seemed to be okay. She looked around the room and the events of the night came back to her like a rolling tide. The death eaters were everywhere, how could there have been so many? She and Allan had been cornered by three of them in the dungeon. They took out one of them together before things got out of hand. She remembered the one death eater that was fighting against Allan had mumbled something, and then saw a flash of green light, and she knew exactly what that had meant. After the death eater then fell over dead from his own injuries, Lily was left to finish off the other one.

Glancing over to her left she saw Allan's body. Cold and stiff, he lied on the floor, dead but ironically unscratched. Walking over to him and falling down to her knees she wept at the loss of her friend. They had been friends at the orphanage for years, and now he was dead and she couldn't help but feel that it was all her fault.

She turned her head to the left and found three more bodies. They were all dressed in typical death eater uniforms. "I did that," she thought to herself, "I did that, I killed those men."

"LILY," a voice screamed from behind her. She recognized the woman as a member of the auror department. "What happened here? Everyone's been looking for you. You've been gone for hours."

Placing her hand on the base of her scull, Lily found a large and painful lump, "I must have been knocked out when I fell. I guess I was out longer than I thought." Turning her attention back to Allan, she rolled him over onto his back and closed his eyes. His skin was still warm, though it was fleeting warmth, growing colder by the second. How did things get so bad?

"Lily you'd better get up to the hospital wing," the woman said taking a step towards her.

"Why what's wrong?"

"It's Jack…he's hurt."

Lily didn't need the woman to explain anymore. She got up from where she was still kneeling beside Allan's body and bolted out of the dungeon and up the many stairs to the main floor. The run to the hospital wing seemed to take forever, and only partly because she was on the other side of the school. Her heart was beating faster than ever before. She ran the worst case scenarios through her mind over and over again, "Please don't be dead," she prayed to herself in her mind. She barely noticed the state the castle was in. There were bodies everywhere. The place looked like a war zone, well in a way it was.

She finally reached the hospital wing to find Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron standing outside. They both looked as if they had just been through hell and back. They were covered in dirt and dust. Aunt Hermione's lip was bleeding and Uncle Ron was sitting down holding his leg as if in pain. She had never been so glade to see them in her entire life.

When Hermione turned around, she saw Lily running towards her. She nearly cried in relief. They hadn't heard from her in hours and they were beginning to fear the worst. "Oh, you're here! Thank God," she said before pulling her into a rib crushing hug, which did not help to ease the pain in Lily's shoulder. "We were so worried! No one could find you and Jack said he hadn't seen you since all of this began. Where have you been? Are you alright? You aren't hurt are you?" Aunt Hermione took a step back and examined her from head to toe.

"No Aunt Hermione, I'm not hurt. I'll be just fine."

Someone other than Hermione and Ron spoke up interrupting the almost pleasant reunion, "I'm telling you right now I have no intention of calming down until someone finds out where Lily is and we know she's alright!" The voice coming from behind the double doors was unmistakably the voice of a very angry Jack Weasley, and Lily couldn't help but sigh in reprieve. He was okay!

Ron saw her face when she heard Jack's voice and smiled at her warmly despite his own pain, "Go put him out of his misery," he said.

"Give him a kiss for us," Hermione called as Lily went through the doors. She was surprised to see that all the beds in the wing were empty, but they looked as if they had been used. "I guess I was out for a lot longer than I thought," Lily thought to herself.

"No, I do not want to go to the St. Mungos like everyone else! I'll be perfectly fine when someone tells me where my girlfriend is and why no one has heard from her since this mess began!" Jack's voice was coming from the last bed with was hidden by a curtain.

"Let me go and see what I can find out for you Mr. Weasley," Madam Jefter's voice said trying to remain calm. She came from around the curtain and when her eyes found Lily she nearly wept with joy.

Lily put her finger to her lips and silenced her so that Jack wouldn't hear her. She gave the woman a hug, "How is he," she whispered.

"He'll live…but he was lucky. He was hit with a curse or two. His heart wasn't beating when they brought him in here. But I was able to resuscitate him with a potion I'll have to teach you about. He'll be in a lot of pain for a few days, but other than that he should be okay. He's been asking for you since the moment he woke up. He was so worried you were hurt. I'll leave you two alone for a little while." she whispered before walking past her and out the double doors to give them some privacy.

Lily took a step around the curtain and found Jack sitting up with his head against some pillows, with his face looking up at the ceiling though his eyes were closed. He was holding his stomach in a way which suggested he was in a certain amount of pain. It took her a moment to realize he was sleeping lightly. She watched him for a second and entered his thoughts with her mind. She found that all he was thinking about was her, wondering if she was okay.

"I'm alright Jack…open your eyes baby…I'm right here," she said with her mind. When he started to stir she knew he got her message. He raised his head up and looked at her as waves of relief could be seen in his facial expression.

"Lily!" His voice now gave away his true condition. He was weak, very weak. She could see it in his eyes. In all their years of friendship he had always been the strong one, but now he looked utterly exhausted simply unable to carry on.

She walked over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Your mother asked me to give you a kiss for her," she said as she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

When she pulled away she saw his eyes shining with tears and she knew he no longer had the energy to hold them back. Her hand was resting next to his on the side of the bed. He moved his index finger and rubbed against the side of her hand. When she took the hint and held his hand she noticed how limp it was in her strong grasp.

"Where were you…they told me they couldn't find you…I was scared to death something had happened," he said as she wrapped her arms around his weak body. He seemed to be trying to muster enough strength to show her that he was okay.

She held him for a few moments before pulling away and examining the cuts on his face and neck. He managed to reach a hand up to the side of her face. She was desperately trying to hold back her own tears not wanting to upset him more. But when his hand touched her face she had to close her eyes to keep her tears at bay. He could see right through her act.

"I'm fine Lil! It's just a few scratches and bruises."

"Madam Jefter said your heart wasn't beating when they brought you in. We almost lost you today Jack," she said opening her eyes making perfect make eye contact with him.

When his hand touched her dislocated shoulder she couldn't help but wince in pain. He looked horrified and let his hand drop back to the bed, "You're hurt…what happened?

"It's nothing, Jack really…it's only dislocated. I can have Madam Jefter take a look at it a little later. I'm just so glad you're alright. I was down in the dungeon's when an auror came and told me you were in the hospital wing and you were hurt…I," she looked into his eyes but couldn't prevent the tears from falling any longer.

He pulled her to him more gently this time avoiding her shoulder and rubbed her back, "Shhh…everything's okay…I wasn't hurt that bad. We'll get through this just like we get through everything else. Come on Lily, don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry."

She nodded her head and slowly pulled away, "You need to rest now so your body can heal properly. I'll be right here the whole time…I'm not going anywhere," she said as she took his hand running her thumb over the back of it, "Close your eyes…I promise I'll be right here when you wake up." He did as she asked and a moment later was drawn into sleep at last.

Hours later Jack woke up to find the room around him still dark. Looking over to the chair by his bed he saw his mother asleep with her head on the shoulder of his father. He heard sounds coming from the window and turned his head and saw Lily sitting up against the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. He thought for a minute that she may be daydreaming, but when he looked closer, he realized that she had tear's streaming down her face. She made no noise whatsoever. She just sat there absorbed in her own grief.

He never let her know he had seen her crying that night, because he just knew she needed to get her emotions out in peace and by herself. The only reason why she didn't go off by herself to do it was because she promised Jack she would be there when he woke up. Lily was never one to break a promise.

Later he found out she was crying because a good friend of theirs had been killed right before her eyes. Allan was a good guy, and they had all gotten along really well. They missed him sorely, but knew the only way to honor his was to keep on going.

Life after the battle at Hogwarts was more turbulent and far more intense. Jack and Lily spent much of their time with the auror department at the ministry of magic. They left the school grounds early in the morning and walked to Hogsmade where they could apparate to the ministry. They didn't usually return until late at night after all the other students had long since gone to bed.

Jack couldn't help but notice a change in Lily's attitude since the battle. She went out of her way to stay clear from those who cared for her. When they weren't at the ministry, or on prefect's rounds, or at Qudditch practice, she was always up in her dormitory alone. She refused to talk to anyone about her feelings, and it seemed Jack was the last person she wanted to see. At first he brushed it off, thinking she was just responding to the death of their friend. After all, everyone has their own ways of grieving, and perhaps this was just her way of processing all that had happened over the last few weeks.

One Saturday afternoon Jack and Lily were alone in the common room. Now that the weather was finally turning warmer, very few students spent their free time indoors. Lily was doing some healer homework and Jack was planning their next Qudditch practice.

"You know I think we really have a shot at taking the cup again this year. The team has been really motivated lately," he said looking up from what he was doing to find Lily staring at the fireplace in some kind of trance. "Lily, did you hear what I said?"

She nodded but returned to reading her book, though he could tell she was not concentrating on learning the things she was reading about because her eyes didn't scan the page. They stayed fixed at one part of the page, never moving anywhere else.

He stood up from his chair and sat down next to her on the couch placing an arm around her. Normally, she would have leaned into his chest or rested her head on his shoulder, but now she just pretended he hadn't done anything at all. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "Do you have to study right at this very moment?"

She suddenly seemed to be very uncomfortable in his arms, something that had almost never happened before. "Actually, I really need to understand this stuff by Monday and I don't want to put it off until tomorrow. I think I'll go study in the library where it's quiet," she said as she pulled herself out of his grasped and left him confused and alone in the common room.

He looked for her later that night at dinner but he couldn't find her at their house table. He walked over t to where his friend Brad Garland and Dylan Jacobs were sitting.

"Hey," Jack said as he sat down.

"Hey yourself," Brad answered looking behind him as if expecting to see someone else, "Where's Lily?"

"She said she was going to the library earlier to study. I bet she just lost track of time. She'll show up sooner or later," he replied as he took a roll from the bowl in front of him.

"She wasn't in the library, mate," Dylan said threw a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"What do you mean she wasn't in the library?" he asked sounding concerned.

"I mean she wasn't in the library. I've been in there all afternoon studying for our potions final. She never came in or else I would have seen her. Is something wrong? Did you two have a row or something," Dylan said looking over at him.

"No, everything's fine. But I think I'd better go find her. I'll talk to you later," Jack stood up and left the Great Hall without a backward glance.

Jack found out Lily had spent much of the afternoon up in the astronomy tower alone. He brushed off the incident as if it was nothing, but when this behavior continued for over a month, he started to worry. It was not like Lily to push the people she cared about away from her. He asked his mother to talk to her, but that didn't seem to help matters all that much. She only got angry with him for bringing his mother into things and told him to just leave her alone.

It wasn't until one afternoon when Lily and Jack were at the ministry training that he was finally able to get closer to the truth. They were in a large workout room with mirrors on all four walls. The room was used regularly by auror trainees in order for them to study all aspects of dueling.

Jack sat on floor in the corner of room watching Lily duel with their instructor. The battle had been going on for about thirty minutes, and she was performing terribly. It seemed as if she had lost all her will to fight. Jack shook his head as a curse sent Lily slamming against the wall for about the twelfth time since the duel began. If this were any other time, she would never have allowed those curses anywhere near her. Lily seemed to have been born to duel. She had brilliant reflexes and could think on her feet, but lately things had been different.

"I think that's enough for today," the instructor said as he walked away from Lily and toward Jack. Lily was standing with her hands on her knees looking down at the floor trying to catch her breath. When their instructor reached Jack he took him by the elbow and spoke quietly so Lily wouldn't hear him.

"Talk to her, Jack. Something's up I can see it and so can you. I've seen Lily block those curses hundreds of times before today. I understand that she's been having a hard time, and you've been trying to giving her space. But I'm not so sure that she really needs space right now."

He nodded his head in agreement and watched the auror leave him and Lily alone. Glancing back at her he saw her holding her side and breathing funny. She had probably bruised a rib during the battle, which was not an uncommon thing to happen during training. Everyday before they left the ministry they stopped by the healer's office and got checked over. Auror training was strenuous and somewhat dangerous so there was a staff of healers on duty at all times.

Jack walked over to her tentatively, silently hoping she would speak to him first. They never used to have problems communicating, but for some reason things seem different these days. When she didn't say anything and continued to hold her side with one hand facing the wall he spoke up, "Are you alright, Lil? Do you want me to take you to the healer?"

"Don't baby me, Jack. I'll be fine. It's just a bruised rib." she said harshly.

"You should still have it looked at. It's department policy."

"Since when have you been an expert on department policy?"

"Do you want to talk about it," he asked rather off guard after her callous remark.

"If you're talking about the duel, then no I don't want to talk about it. I was just a little off today. I'll get it tomorrow," she turned around and walked over to their duffle bags looking for something. She knelt on the floor and showed no intention of speaking to him again on her own feel will. He figured if he couldn't get her to talk to him in words than perhaps he could get her to talk to him through their minds. He entered her thoughts briefly and immediately noticed how much sorrow was present there. This went way beyond losing Allan. Something else had to be wrong.

Unfortunately for Jack, Lily knew he was in her thoughts and placed her hands on the sides of her head in frustration, "Get out of my head, Weasley!"

"Well, what do you expect me to do if you won't talk to me?"

"I expect you to leave me alone and respect my privacy! If I wanted to talk to you Jack I would seek you out and do just that. BUT I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE STUPID DUEL!"

This time he wasn't backing down just yet. He walked over to where she was sitting and stood above her with his arms crossed across his chest, "I'm not even talking about the duel! If you don't want to talk to me about what went wrong today, than that's perfectly fine with me. Why don't we start with something else?"

She abruptly stopped rummaging through her duffle bag and glared up at him, "What else is there to talk about?"

"How about you tell me what's really bothering you," he answered honestly.

"Jack, if you've got something to say than just come out and say it," she said coldly.

"Alright fine, I do have some things on my mind that I've been meaning to talk to you about…What the hell is wrong with you lately? You've been avoiding everyone like the plague since the battle. You never come down from your dorm unless you have something you absolutely have to do like come here or go to Qudditch practice or class or something. You won't talk to anyone, not even me. I know you haven't been eating properly, and I can look at you and tell you haven't been sleeping. I understand things have been rough since Allan died. But talk to me Lil, there's got to be something else that's upsetting you and making you act this way."

He could tell that he'd struck a nerve this time because she looked really angry. She took a deep breath before answering, "What if I don't want to talk to you? What if I don't want to talk to anyone?"

"Lily, I'm not asking you to talk to me because you've been my girlfriend for almost two years. I'm asking because you're my best friend and I'm worried about you 'cause you're not taking care of yourself."

She zipped her duffle bag shut and swung the strap over her shoulder. "Well, like I said before, there's nothing we need to talk about. So can we go now or are you going to continue with this intervention," she asked cruelly.

As he stood there staring at her in astonishment. He realized that in their six years of friendship he had never seen her act so heartless. She was always compassionate and understanding with everyone. He searched the depths of her eyes, trying to find the old Lily he knew was in there somewhere. She had completely closed herself off to him emotionally. And when he looked at her he was heartbroken by what he saw.

He spoke evenly and quietly hoping to calm her down a bit. "There was a time when I could look you in the eye and instantly know exactly what you're thinking. But I look into your eyes now and I haven't got a clue. I don't know what's going on inside your head, but I want to help you. The only way I can do that is if you talk to me. I feel like I'm looking at a completely different person right now. The Lily Potter I know and love wouldn't act this way."

She was quick and spiteful in her response, "Well, then I guess you just don't know me as well as you thought you did! People change, Jack, and life is full of disappointment! Take it from someone who knows! You shouldn't have such high expectations of people. They're only going to disappoint you in the end." With those words she turned on her heel and left Jack completely stunned in her wake. He knew she didn't really mean the things she had said. She was upset about something and wasn't thinking straight, but that didn't stop her words from hurting.

He went after her but it didn't do any good. She was nowhere to be found. He went to the front desk and told them he and Lily were returning early to Hogwarts, and that they may not be able to come back tomorrow. He didn't know if it was such a good for them to train with Lily so upset and angry. She was libel to hurt herself or someone else, and that wouldn't help matters any.

Once back at Hogwarts he went straight to their common room to see if that's where she had gone. When he realized she wasn't there, he asked Jess, a girl from Lily's year, if she had seen her up in their dormitory.

"No Jack, I haven't seen her since yesterday after dinner," Jess answered politely.

Yesterday was a Sunday and they had not had auror training. Jack had only seen Lily at breakfast because after that she went to the hospital wing for her healer training, that's where she spent every Saturday and Sunday. He had spent the majority of the day in the library helping some of his friends with their defense homework. He hoped that she would come and find him once she was done like she usually did, but again his hopes were never realized. They didn't return to the common room until ten-o-clock, and no one else was up.

Returning his thoughts to the present Jack replied. "Thanks anyway, Jess. If you see her, would you please tell her I'm looking for her and I really need to talk to her?"

"Sure, I'll tell her," she answered she then smiled devilishly at him and added, "Did you two have fun the night before last?"

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

Jess looked alarmed that he didn't know what she was taking about, "Well, Lily came back to the dorm at about six thirty saying that she had a bad day in the hospital wing and that she was going for a run. When she didn't come back I figured she had met up with you."

"You mean Lily never came back to the dorm at all that night," Jack asked now really worried.

"Yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night and she wasn't in her bed. She wasn't there when I woke up this morning either and her bed looked like it had never been slept in. And now that I think about it I don't remember seeing her come to bed the night before last either. She usually goes to bed before everyone else but then once everyone's asleep she leaves and goes somewhere, probably to the common room, then comes back hours later. Is something wrong?" she asked standing up and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"No, everything's fine. Thanks again, Jess…I'll see ya around," He turned left the common room heading for the staff quarters. He knew there was no way Lily would be there visiting his parents, but perhaps they could make some since of what has been going on.

Coming to his parent's quarters he muttered the password and stepped inside. The living room was small but cozy. Lily and Jack often came in here to study when they really needed some quiet time. They hadn't been in here in a while though.

"Jack, to what do we owe this pleasure?" asked his mum brightly from the doorway leading to the small kitchenette.

Looking around he noticed the absence of two people, "Where are Brandon and Joe?" Brandon and Joe were his only brothers who didn't attend Hogwarts because they were too young. They lived here because both their parents worked for the school.

"They're staying at your grandparent's house tonight. All your younger cousins are over there. I pity your grandparents really, but is was their idea," she answered going over to a chair by the fire and sitting down, "Take a seat, Jack. Is there something on your mind?"

"Where's Dad then?" he asked still standing.

"I'm right here," Ron Weasley said smiling at his son holding today's issue of the _Daily Prophet_.

Finally taking a seat, Jack started what he had come here to do, "Have you guys talked to Lily lately?"

"No, to tell you the truth we haven't seen much of Lily," Ron answered sitting down on the couch next to him.

"She and I had a row today at the ministry and now I can't find her. She's been acting really strange lately," he said reflectively.

"How so?" Hermione asked, crossing her legs and looking concerned.

Unable to hold back any longer Jack began rambling all the things on his mind at lightning speed, "I when I asked you to talk to her before I left out a lot about the way she's been acting because I didn't want to alarm you. She doesn't come to down to the Great Hall to eat more than once a day, and when she does she just picks at her food. She doesn't sleep much. I just found out from one of her roommates that she never came to bed the night before last and possibly not even last night. She's doing horribly in training, and she seems to be really upset with me about something. But I don't know what I've done to make her mad."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a worried glance before Ron spoke up, "Have you tried talking to her about all this?"

"I tried talking to her today just before I left the ministry and she blew up at me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to help her get through whatever's troubling her, but I can't help her if she won't even look at me let alone talk to me," Jack racked his hands through his hair in aggravation, and then placed his head in his hands completely.

"Just like her father," Ron mumbled under his breath chuckling slightly.

"How could this possible be funny?" Jack asked annoyed.

"I think what you're father means is that Lily is doing the exact thing her father used to do when he was dealing with something big. Harry used to get so angry at us for no apparent reason when we were in school. It wasn't until later that we realized it was just his way of dealing with things. Sometimes when people are angry or upset about something, they take it out on those they love most. You have to keep talking to her. Keep letting her know that you're there for her. But most importantly you have to get her to tell you what's making her so upset. If you don't, I think that things will only get worse," Hermione concluded.

"Wait here," Ron told his son as he got up and left the room. He walked swiftly into his and Hermione's bedroom and opened the trunk that always sat at the end of their bed. He had to take out a number of contents before he finally found the item he was searching for. It was a letter bearing Lily's name on it, written to her by the one person that could possibly help her deal with what she was going through. He stared at the letter for a few seconds, wondering what was in it. This letter had come in a larger envelope with instructions that it be given to her when she was at her lowest point. This had to qualify.

Ron got up and returned to where his wife and Jack were waiting. "Give this to her," Ron said handing over the letter.

"What is it?" Jack asked looking down at the letter how in his left palm.

"It's a letter addressed to Lily," Ron stated, "from her father. He wanted her to read it when she needed it most. I think now is the time."

"I'll be sure she gets it," Jack said looking at his father who now wore a saddened look upon his face.

"If I were you I'd go find her as soon as you can. Corner her somewhere and force her to tell you what's wrong. Remind her how much you love her. Tell her that we miss her as well," he added as he walked Jack to the door.

"Thanks Dad," Jack said before walking away with his head down still not knowing where to begin looking for her. He decided that he'd better go clear his own mind before he even attempted to talk to Lily.

Without even realizing it his feet led him out to the Qudditch pitch and it wasn't long before he noticed he was not along. There sitting in the Gryffindor stands was Lily Potter herself, the very person he was hoping to find. He climbed to the stands where she was sitting without her even noticing. She was sitting totally still with her hands in her coat pockets and eyes closed. He watched her for a moment taking in her appearance. Her face was thin and pale and her eyes had deep dark circles around them. She looked both physically and emotionally exhausted.

"I'd be tired too if I haven't gotten any sleep in over two days," Jack said suddenly as he approached her. She opened her eyes and looked irritated at the sight of him, which hurt him quite a bit.

"What are you checking up on me now?" She asked looking away.

"I wouldn't have to if you'd talk to me about all this in the first place," he said allowing the concern in his heart to show through in his voice.

"I thought we already talked about that," she said standing up and walking back down the stands. Jack followed her but didn't respond until they were once again on the ground.

"No, we didn't talk about anything! You talked AT me and said a lot of things we both know you don't mean. But now it's my turn to talk. I want you to tell me what happened that night at the battle. What happened that has got you so upset and shaken up that you push yourself away from everyone who loves you? Mum and Dad are worried too. I just went to see them thinking maybe they could help me decide what I was supposed to do," he saw the reaction of anger in her eyes and cut her off before she could cut in. "And I know you asked me to keep them out of this, but what did you expect me to do? I can't just sit by and watch you slowly destroy yourself over something you haven't even taken the time to explain to me. I have to admit…you're beginning to scare me, Lil! I've never seen you like this before!"

While he was saying this he slowly started to see her eyes fill with tears; her first display of emotion, other than anger, since the funeral. Just as soon as the moisture in her eyes appeared, it was gone to be replaced with an angry expression once more. "Why are you doing this? I told you I didn't want to talk about it! Why can't you respect that and leave me alone?"

"I'm doing this because I love you and I want to help you get though whatever it is that's tripping you up, all you have to do is let me," he said taking one step forward. He placed his hands on her shoulders, "For God's sake Lily talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk to you, Jack! Why can't you understand that?"

She tried to shrug off his firm hold on her, but he wouldn't let her. "If you want to get angry with me, then that's fine! If anger is the only way for you to vent all the emotions you have pent up inside you, then by all means, be my guest! But you can't keep going like this or you're going to end up killing yourself. Now I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's the matter!"

Her eyes continued to glaze over yet she still spoke in an angry tone of voice, "You want to hear all about it, huh? Well, I'll tell you and hope that you'll finally leave me alone! I killed two people that night at the battle! Two families are mourning the loss of their loved one because of me. I understand that to everyone else, those two men were nothing more than death eaters. But to me they were so much more than that. Each of them had a mother and father. They could have had brothers or sisters and maybe even wives and children. I killed those men in the same cold blood as the people who killed my own mother and father!"

She pushed his hands off her shoulders violently, and when Jack took as step forward but she took a step back. He shook his head and tried to reason with her, "Lily that was different…they…"

"No, it wasn't different," she cut him off and kept talking over his continuing protests. "I should have found another way. I could have stunned them or bound them or done something…anything to keep from becoming a murderer! Because that's what I am Jack…a murderer…I'm no better than they are if that's what it's come to," she said as her voice finally gave way and tears made their way down her cheeks.

Jack reached for her and surrounded her body in a rib crushing hug. She struggled against him, hitting his shoulders trying to push him off her, but he wasn't letting her go this time, not now that he knew what was going on inside her head. After a few tense seconds she stopped struggling and her screams were replaced by open sobs. She went limp in his arms and fell to the ground, dragging him right along with her. He tried to comfort her the best he could. They were both on their knees in the middle of the Qudditch field as lightning struck somewhere off in the distance. A storm was coming, but neither of them seemed to care about seeking shelter.

Jack couldn't help but kick himself for not realizing this was what was bothering her sooner. To anyone else killing a death eater would have been no big deal. But to Lily it was a big deal. She never wanted to believe there was such a thing as pure evil. She always wanted to give others the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she did this because it was the exact opposite of what they taught her at the orphanage, but for whatever reason it was apart of who she was.

"I just can't get that night out of my head. Every time I close my eyes I see Allan's face. I relive the battle in my dreams night after night. He was our friend, Jack! How could I have let this happen?"

He now found her clinging to him for dear life as she continued to sob into his chest. He allowed her to let her emotions out for a few moments before taking her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him.

"Lily, listen to me…There was no way you could have prevented what happened that night. If you hadn't killed those two men then they most certainly would have killed you without even thinking about it twice. And that's what makes us different from them. They couldn't have cared less if they had killed you, and here you are eating yourself up for doing what you had to do to stay alive! You are not a murderer…do you hear me?" She nodded her head to show she finally understood. "And as for Allan, as I said before, he knew what he was getting into. I miss him too, Lily, but there comes a time when you've got to stop blaming yourself for things that were beyond your control and move on with your life. Allan wouldn't want you to waste away with grief. Would you want that for him if you had been the one that had died?"

"No," she said in a whisper. She leaned her head against his chest again and let out a deep breath, "Jack…I'm so sorry about the things I said to you and the way I've been treating you. All you wanted to do was help and all I seemed to do was push you away," she buried her face into his auror robes.

He placed a hand on the back of her head, "Shhh…sweetheart its okay…no harm done. And besides I'm a tough guy, I can handle it. But I can't handle what you're doing to yourself over this. I want you to promise me that you'll start taking better care of yourself," he said standing up and pulling her to her feet, "Will you go with me and find something to eat?"

"Yes," she answered as they began walking toward the castle.

"Everything is going to be okay as long as you and I stick together okay," he said rubbing her back as they walked up the stairs leading to the doors, hoping beyond hope he would be able to keep that promise.

Jack sat in the common room later that night with Lily resting her head on his shoulder. He didn't realize how much he had missed moments like these over the pass few weeks. Thinking back on the days events he suddenly remembered the letter that was still in the pocket of his robes. He reached with his free hand and took out the letter.

"Are you awake, Lil?"

"Yeah," she replied lifting her head up to look at him. Her eyes met his momentarily before they traveled down his body to the hand that held the letter with her name on it. "What's that?"

"My dad gave it to me. He told me to give it to you. It's from your father," Jack said softly handing her the letter.

"From _my_ father," she repeated in disbelief staring down at the envelope.

Jack nodded and stood up, "I'll leave you alone to read it. Come find me if you want to talk about it when you're done."

She didn't take her eyes off the letter for another second, giving Jack just long enough to walk towards the stairs leading to his dormitory. She was grateful that he respected her enough to leave her alone in times like these. But she didn't think she could do this all by herself. She needed him there.

"Don't go," she pleaded softly turning to face him, "Stay with me. I want you to be here…Please."

Jack didn't need any further explanation. He made his way back to the sofa he where he had just left her and sat down. She looked on the verge of tears again. She went to open the letter but paused and lowered her hands still containing the letter to her lap.

"I can't do this," she admitted. "Can you read it to me?"

"Sure," Jack said taking the letter from her trembling hands and ripping open the seal. It was a medium length letter, clearly written in male handwriting. He cleared his throat and began reading.

"My dearest Lily. If you are reading this now, then it means something has happened in your life and you've lost faith. Life has thrown you a curve ball and you have been totally caught off guard. I'm sorry for whatever has happened. I have no idea what is causing you pain, all I know is that even as I sit here now, watching you sleep in your crib late at night, I want nothing more than to take all that pain away. Loosing faith is something I'm all too accustomed to. Whatever has happened, no matter how big and overwhelming it seems now, it will pass with time. Do not turn away from those who love you. Love is the only thing really worth living and dying for in this world. As your father, I want nothing but happiness for you in this life. I want so many things for you, but most of all I want you to love and be loved. Find something in your life, something you love and that loves you, and never let it go. Always remember how much your mother and I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to us. Faith is an easy thing to loose, and a difficult thing to retrieve again. I know you can handle whatever obstacles come your way. I have faith in you. I always have. That is just about the only thing that has never wavered. Love always, Dad."

Jack looked up from the letter to find Lily staring at him with tears gleaming from her eyes, reminding him of bright green marbles shining in the sunlight. He folded up the letter and put it back in its envelope, setting it aside.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked cupping the side of her face with his hand and brushing her cheek with his thumb.

She nodded her head yes and was clearly trying to hold back her tears, "I'm fine," she said in an unstable voice again.

"No, you're not," he said pulling her onto his chest as she continued to blink back tears.

"Lily, you've got to stop holding all your emotions inside. You don't have to be tough for me," Jack reminded her softly. "It's okay to cry. It's not a sign of weakness, just a sign that you're human."

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be happy to have something like this. It helps me a lot in some ways, but in other ways it just reminds me of all I've missed out on."

"What do you mean?" Jack questioned.

She raised her head and he lovingly brushed the stray hairs out of her face. "It reminds me off all the times he should have been there but wasn't. He wasn't there to comfort me when I had bad dreams or check under my bed for monsters. He wasn't there when I needed someone to explain magic to me. He wasn't there to teach me how to ride a broom. I have absolutely no memory of this man, none at all. And what hurts even more is all the things he won't get to see in the future. Like when we graduate, and when I get married and have kids of my own. He's never going to see me do anything."

"It isn't fair. I've had such great parents and you have never known yours," Jack said to himself out loud.

"You're so lucky to have them in your life. I'd kill to have something like that."

"I'm sure wherever he is right now, he's wishing he were right here with you. Watching you grow into this amazing woman that you've become. I know he's just as proud of you as I am."

She finally cracked a smile before laying her head back down, "Thank you," she said nearly crushing him in a full on embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.

"What are you thanking me for this time?" He asked lightheartedly.

"For being my something. The one thing I'm always going to hold on to. Just like my Dad said in the letter," she said, "You gave me hope when I thought I had none. You proved to me that I'm still the same person I was before, and that you still loved me."

"You thought I'd stopped loving you," Jack questioned looking at her horrified.

"No, I thought I didn't deserve to have your love after what happened. But you showed me that you still loved me, even when I pushed you away and told myself I didn't want you to love me."

"I'm always going to love you, no matter what stupid things you do. Like starving yourself or being a complete idiot," Jack teased lightly. A smile crept up her face and graced her features. He would never tire of seeing her smile. It was enough to make everything they had gone through completely worth it.


	6. Chapter Five: Like Sand through an Hourg

Chapter Five: Like Sand through an Hourglass

A/N- This story takes place about a month into the summer before Jack and Lily's seventh year in school. Just thought you'd want to know! Also, I've had some people ask me when Ginny comes into all this. It's not for a long while. Do you think I should move this into a different category? They do play a key part in the story, but they don't even meet up again for several chapters. And one more thing, I realized I haven't put a disclaimer on this. So this is it. Who do I look like? JK Rowling! I own nothing but the characters which do not appear in the Harry Potter books. All the characters who are not in the books, as well as theplot, belong to me.

"Ron, what time did Lily and Jack say they would be getting home from camp?" Hermione Weasley asked her husband while folding some socks in the living room.

"They said this afternoon sometime," Ron called from upstairs in their bedroom just as the door bell rang. "Can you get that, love?"

"Sure," Hermione said under her breath as she walked to the door. When she opened the door she had expected to see one of her younger children's friends wanting to come over and play. What she saw when she pulled open the door was such a shock she felt her heart stop beating.

He looked different. His hair was lighter, he must have dyed it. He was perhaps even taller than she remembered, and he did not wear glasses anymore, and his scar was missing as well. But the eyes were the same; they were the give-a-way clue.

"Hello Hermione!" Harry took a step toward his friend and engulfed her in a large hug.

Another male voice called from behind the pair, "Mione, who is it …oh my God…Harry!" Ron ran over and hugged his friend like a brother when he pulled away from Hermione. She stood back and allowed her husband to pass her, trying desperately to regain her breath.

After another round of hugs and laughs the three proceeded to sit in the living room. Harry was surprised that neither Ron nor Hermione were mad at him for what he did. He thought they might be, but he was glad they weren't.

"Harry, where have you been all this time and why have you decided now is the time to come back? Not that I'm complaining or anything," Ron asked beaming back at his friend. It was as if no time had passed between their last meeting, but in actuality it had been nearly seventeen years since Harry's supposed "death."

"Well, I moved from place to place. I changed my name and covered my tracks. I spent some time in America, but most of the time I was in Canada in a remote town near the American border. The people there were nice and I pretty much kept to myself. I also changed my appearance so that no one would recognize me. I have my scar disillusioned, in case you were wondering. As for why I came back now, I read something in the paper the other day about Lily. It was rather startling, and I realized I can no longer protect her by staying away from her. That and I desperately want to be part of her life again." Harry said all this very fast and was rather out of breath when he was finished.

"She's okay Harry. I must say she handled herself very well as she always has. She takes after you I guess in that sense, there is really nothing she can't handle. You are going to be so proud of her when you see her! She is even smarter than Hermione was in school," Ron said putting an arm around his wife who sat looking at Harry not daring to take her eyes off him out of fear he would disappear.

"Really," Harry said with a wider smile.

"Hermione and I are both teaching at Hogwarts now, so yes we can tell you with absolute certainty that she is one of the smartest students ever to go to that school," Ron added.

"What do you teach?" Harry asked Ron. When he left, Ron had been working for the auror department and Hermione was the one at Hogwarts.

"I teach potions if you can believe it! It turns out I like it a lot more than I thought I did. And Hermione still teaches transfiguration," Ron replied, "Oh, and Neville is teaching Herbology."

"I guess I saw that coming with Neville. I can't wait to see everyone!" Harry said excitedly while standing up and walking around the room looking at various items.

"Do you want to see some pictures of her, Harry?" Hermione asked softly after a few moments of silence between the three.

"Do you have any?" Harry asked hopefully turning around to face them.

"Of course we do!" Ron said as he got up and walked out of the room. He returned with several photo albums in his arms. "They're in here with our other family pictures." Ron put the albums down and opened the one that had to oldest pictures. They were of Ron and Hermione holding a baby in their arms. "This album is too old, she won't be in here. Let's find a more recent one," Ron said half to himself as he closed the book and began looking for the one he wanted. Harry picked up the album Ron had just sat down to look at the pictures of the baby. This was obviously not a picture of Jack, because the baby had Ron's red hair. He remembered Jack's hair was brown.

Harry turned to Hermione and asked, "How many children do you two have now?"

Hermione smiled again. Her favorite subject was talking about her wonderful children. "We have five. Andrew was born a year after Jack. He is going to be sixteen years old and in his sixth year. Kyle was born two years after that, he's in his third year. Brandon was born three years later, and he will start Hogwarts in the fall. We didn't have Joe for seven years after Brandon was born. He was our little surprise. He will be four in a few weeks."

Harry looked slightly surprised, "Well, that's quite a lot. Looks like Ginny is the last Weasley girl for a while!"

At the mention of Ginny the room fell silent. Harry mentally kicked himself for the comment. Here he was, sitting in his best friend's living room, when he had broken his little sister's heart years ago.

"I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing to say," Harry said miserably.

Ron smiled and nodded while Hermione stood up and walked to the mantel place over their fireplace. She picked up a framed picture and handed it to Harry. The picture was of Ron and Hermione in the hospital with four children. All of them had flaming red hair so Harry assumed that Jack was not one of the children.

"That was when Joe was born. Lily and Jack must have been off somewhere," Hermione said taking a seat next to her husband again.

Ron nodded half heartedly as he found the pictures that he wanted, "Here they are, Harry. These were taken starting the night Lily and Jack were sorted. Hermione had a camera ready. She wanted to be able to show you someday."

Harry sat in silence as he saw his daughter in the pictures. She had black hair and green eyes like his, just as when she was a baby. But she had her mother's hair texture. Her hair was long and full of curls and waves. That was one thing he really had hoped she would inherit from Melissa. He loved her hair. The pictures progressed slowly because there were a lot of them. He knew she had been sorted into his old house when he saw her wearing a scarf bearing the Gryffindor colors. He had never been so proud.

He looked at the pictures for what seemed like hours. He watched as the years went by and Lily grew older and even more beautiful. There were many pictures of her at the burrow with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and at their house here near London. He knew then that Ron and Hermione had taken her after she started Hogwarts because she was in nearly all of their family pictures. He was grateful beyond words.

"She plays Qudditch?" Harry asked when he came to a picture of Lily standing with a Qudditch uniform on. She had obviously just played a match because she was rather tired looking and wind blown.

"Yes, her and Jack have both been on the team since they were in first year. They love it. She's a seeker just like you, Harry," Ron said proudly.

"What does Jack play?" Harry asked after a few seconds.

"Keeper, just like his father," Hermione said after nudging her husband affectionately in the rib cage. Ron just smiled back at her.

"So Jack and Lily are good friends then?" Harry asked looking at Hermione and Ron for a second and then returning to the pictures. There seemed to be a lot of pictures taken at this particular Qudditch match.

"You could say that," Ron relied mischievously as he and Hermione exchanged looks and waited for Harry to turn the page of the album. When he did they both started laughing.

Harry looked up at them and then back at the album. These pictures were of Lily, but she was with a boy. This boy had brown hair like Hermione. "Is this Jack?"

"Yup," they said together.

Harry looked at the next page. In these pictures the photographic Lily was standing with the photographic Jack behind her. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and every so often he would kiss her cheek making her smile even more.

"You're son is dating my daughter," Harry happily accused.

"Yes he is. They started dating the summer after their fourth year in school. When they first came to Hogwarts they got along really well right from the beginning. It was rather funny seeing the two of them together at first. It was kind of like seeing you and me together again," Ron said as he let the memories of years past come back to him for the first time in a long time without any pain. It seemed like every happy memory that had taken place over the past sixteen years had been bittersweet because Harry hadn't been there to share it with them.

"Well, I don't recall you and me ever dating Ron!" Harry joked looking at his best mate with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, it turns out that not all male members of this family are like Ron when it comes to romance. Jack handled himself like a perfect gentlemen," Hermione said turning her nose up to Ron.

"Are you saying I wasn't a gentleman?" Ron said pretending to be put out.

"You were a prat!" Hermione said laughing as she recalled how they got together while she and Ron were with Harry looking for the fragmented soul of Voldemort.

"You were, mate," Harry admitted.

"He loves her Harry," Ron said seriously.

"Then I am happy for them. It was just a little unexpected, that's all." Harry began to flip through some more pictures. He found a picture of Jack and Lily in what looked to be the Gryffindor common room. They were sitting on the couch together, Lily had her head in Jack's lap and she was reading something as Jack ran his hand through her hair absentmindedly while staring out the window. She was wearing glasses and Harry couldn't get over how much she really did look like him with them on.

"When was this taken?"

Hermione canned her neck to see the picture he was asking about, "That was taken at the beginning of this year."

"I see," Harry nodded and turned the page.

The next picture Harry came to was in the final album with the most recent pictures. It was of Jack and Lily along with another boy he didn't know, but he certainly was somewhat older than Jack and Lily. He did however notice that Jack and Lily were not wearing Hogwarts uniforms. They were wearing black floor length robes, traditionally worn by aurors in training.

Harry made the connection and looked up at Ron and Hermione, "They're training to be aurors? Aren't they a little young for that?"

"When she and Jack came to Hogwarts they were so advanced in their studies thanks to that orphanage you sent her to and all the books Hermione had laying around the house for Jack to read. They were placed in third year classes their first year. They took their NEWT exams at the end of their fifth year with all the seventh years and have been training to be aurors every since. Lily's also training to be a healer, though none of us really know why," Ron concluded by looking over to his wife for an answer to his question.

"I think she just needed something that didn't involve the dark arts for once. She likes healer training and she's good at it. She'll be working at St. Mungos for a few hours every week next year," Hermione said looking at Harry who was staring at them with a strange expression. "Harry what is it?"

"She's so grown up. I guess I always thought of her as a baby in my mind. I never imagined that she would grow into the young woman in all these pictures," Harry said looking down at the pictures of a smiling Lily Potter with what must have been one of Ron and Hermione's other children. "I'll never forgive myself for not being there for her."

Ron placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Listen mate, you only did what you thought you had to do to protect your one and only daughter. No one could ever ask more of you than that."

"Still, I should have been there."

"Lily and Jack have both had to grow up a lot faster than we would have liked them to," Ron said regretfully. He glanced at Hermione who shook her head, indicating that she didn't want him to continue down this particular conversation path.

Hermione finally asked what she had been wondering for the last few moments, "When are you going to tell her Harry?"

Harry closed the album and returned it to the pile on the coffee table, "I want you to introduce me to her as a friend of yours from school. I'll tell her in the next few days. I just want to find the right moment. I don't want it to be a total shock."

"Well," Hermione said looking at her watch, "We shouldn't have to wait very long. They should be home anytime now."

"Where are they?" Harry wondered.

"Oh, they're at Qudditch camp for school. They have been co-captions for the team since the beginning of their fifth year. They started this camp the summer before their fifth year to help bring the team together. I have to say it's worked out really well. The team has never failed to win the house cup yet!"

Just as Ron finished what he was saying there was a series of cracks and loud thuds from the kitchen followed by sounds of laughter. Ron, Hermione, and Harry walked quickly into the kitchen to see what happened. When the situation came into view Harry felt his heart skip a beat. There before his eyes were two entangled teenage bodies. They were on the floor and so were their broom sticks and duffle bags. One of them had apparently apparated in on top of the other.

"Jesus, Potter! Did you have to choose that exact spot," Jack said in a light tone and he regained his composure and found his feet. He stood up and looked over at his parents and Harry, "We're home Mum! But I guess you already know that thanks to our grand entrance," Jack beamed at his parents before bending down and helping Lily untangle herself from the straps of two duffle bags. He pulled her to her feet and she started to dust herself off.

"How was camp? It was longer this year wasn't it? I don't remember it being two whole weeks last year," Ron said going over to his son and taking their bags up off the floor then placing them on the table. "How are you feeling about it all?"

Lily looked over at Jack with a grin that Harry instantly recognized as his own, "We're sore Uncle Ron, but I feel really confident that this year will go good!" Harry took notice of her American accent mixed with a little British as well.

"Lily, Jack, this is our friend Harold from school," Ron said introducing Harry using a fake name. Harry laughed to himself at how ridiculous the name was.

"Where are Andrew and Kyle?" Hermione said as she unzipped one of the bags and began to unpack the teen's belongings.

"Kyle should be flooing in any second now. Jack and I walked to the gate so we could apparate. Let me help you with that Aunt Hermione," Lily said as she walked over to Hermione and started to unzip the other bag.

"Lily you need to rest, you look dead on your feet. I'm just emptying the bags right now. I'll wash everything tomorrow," Hermione said as she forced Lily to sit down in one of the dinning room chairs. Harry and Ron took seats on the other side and Jack sat next to her handing her an apple.

Harry looked at his daughter more closely and noticed she did have dark circles under her eyes, but she looked content. She reminded him of himself after a long and strenuous Qudditch game.

"Hello," a voice called from the hallway and a gangly red headed figure walked into the room and dropped his duffle bag next to the others.

"Kyle, this is a friend of ours from school. Harold this is our son Kyle. This is his first year playing Qudditch for the house team," Ron said as Kyle went to the counter and got a bottle of water.

"It's nice to meet you Harold. I'm beat though! I think I'll go catch a few winks before supper," he said walking out of the room without another word.

"Where is Andrew then?" Ron said looking at Jack with a wary eye.

"Andy's got himself a little girlfriend. They were saying a teary goodbye when we left," Jack said pretending to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye but stopped and laughed when Lily hit him in the shoulder.

"That's not nice, Jack. You know Andrew is sensitive about that," looking at Ron and rolling her eyes.

"It's just so funny! I mean they're both so young! They almost need a babysitter," Jack said laughing even harder.

"They're older than we were," Lily said with a glint in her eye.

Hermione walked in the room and laughed as well, "She's got a point Jack! You were a full year younger than your brother when you and Lily started dating."

Jack looked rather shocked, "Yeah Mum, but Lily's was so…she was so…mature for her age. She's always been like that." He said this eyeing both his mother and Lily cautiously.

"Oh, really! Too bad I can't say the same for you Weasley!" Lily said as she jumped up from the table and ran for the living room. She clearly knew she was in trouble after that comment.

Jack was after her and caught up to her in a second, wrestling her to the ground. He then proceeded to tickle her to the point that she had tears of laughter in her eyes.

"Take it back, Potter!"

"NEVER!" She said as he continued to tickle her mercilessly.

"Don't take that from him Lil! Put him in his place," Ron called from the table as he and Harry watched the two love birds on the floor. Ron looked over at Harry and winked at him. Harry just shook his head and smiled wider.

"Hey, who's side are you on anyway Dad! I'm your own flesh and blood," Jack said and he held Lily's hands above her head.

"So is Lily as far as I'm concerned," Ron said giving Harry a more serious look. Harry was grateful to Ron for this. He had always hoped Ron and Hermione would love Lily as their own.

Harry looked back to the couple on the floor and laughed at what he saw. Lily had taken advantage of Jack's momentary distraction and had succeeded in rendering him immobile by pinning his body beneath hers.

"Say it!" She yelled down at Jack with a smile.

"Okay fine, MERCY!" Jack said as he and Lily sat up red in the face.

"Oh, this came for you two the other day," Hermione said as Jack and Lily sat next to each other trying to catch their breath. She handed the letter to Lily and she and Jack got up and walked back to the table.

Lily saw the handwriting on the outside and gave Jack a odd look. Harry looked over at the envelope and saw the auror department's seal on the outside. Their names were written in navy color ink.

Lily read the letter and then handed it to Jack pretending not be upset but failing miserable. But Harry saw right through her act. He used to do the same thing. She took a long deep breath and looked away giving Jack time to read the letter.

"Who's it from?" Ron asked sensing that Harry wanted to know.

"Luis," Jack spat the name out as if it were poison. Jack folded the letter up neatly after reading it and handed it back to Lily.

"We're going away again this weekend. Department orders," Jack answered looking at Lily again who was now folding the letter back up and setting it on fire with her wand.

"Will you be gone for the weekend again or the whole week?" Hermione asked looking concerned.

"Who knows…" Lily said under her breath.

Just then a little boy with red hair came running into the room and ran over to Lily and Jack excitedly. Harry was puzzled for a second and then realized that this most be Ron's youngest son Joe. He was a small child that looked exactly like his father, strikingly different from his oldest brother who looked just like his mother.

"Jack! Lily!" The boy cried as he ran into Jack's open arms, "Did you miss me!"

"Of course we did!" Jack said as Joe moved over to greet Lily.

"I wanted you to read me a story, but Mum said you were too tired from camp!" Joe said to Lily, pouting.

"Me, too tired? Not for you buddy," Lily said tapping him on the nose and standing up, "You lead the way." She glanced back at Jack and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll come get you for dinner, Lil," Jack said as he returned to the table with Ron and Harry.

"So you were friends with my dad in school? What was he like?"

Harry looked over at Ron and smiled devilishly. "Well, let's just say we got into our fair share of trouble!"

An hour and a half later the boys were still sitting at the table, their sides hurting from all the laughter. Hermione had entered the kitchen a while before and started preparing dinner. She would pipe into the conversation whenever she felt Harry was leaving something out.

Joe came back down the stairs just as Hermione was starting to set the table. Jack turned to his brother. "Did Lily read you something good?"

Joe shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, but she fell asleep on my bed before she was done. I played in your room for a while to let her sleep."

"That was kind of you Joe," Hermione said ruffling his hair then turned to Jack with her hand on her hips. "Exactly how hard have you been practicing at this camp Jack? You and Lily both have not regained your strength from…" Hermione was about to go on but the look of horror on Harry's face prevented her.

"Yeah, I know Mum. But you know Lily. She wanted to practice hard just like we always do. I think she liked it that way. It kept her mind off things," Jack added quietly. He looked down at his hands resting on the table and let out a long sigh.

Just then a tall man walked in the back door without knocking. "Hello Hermione," he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes.

"Oh, hello Richard! We weren't expecting you tonight. Harold, this is Richard Luis. He's head of the auror department at the ministry. Harold is a friend of ours from school," Hermione explained continuing to set the table, "You're welcome to stay for dinner if you like."

"Unfortunately this is not a social call," the man said seriously then he looked to Jack, "Jack I need to talk to you and Lily in private for a second. It's important."

Jack looked away from the man and seemed to be rather angry, "If this is about Mal-"

"Jack, go and get Lily and met me outside," Richard said cutting Jack off. He turned on his heel and walked out the door as abruptly as he walked in.

"You know, I'm really beginning to hate that guy!" Jack stood up and pushed in his chair, "He always seems to be around to mess things up."

"Jack, he only wants to help," Hermione said but Harry could tell she really didn't mean it by the sound of her voice. "You'd better go and wake Lily up."

"Yeah," Jack muttered as he ran up the stairs. He walked into Joes room with was the last room on the right hand side, and opened the door. Lily was laying on her stomach with her arms up under the pillow her head facing the wall. Jack sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed her back to get her to wake up.

"Jack," she mumbled against the pillow turning around slowly.

"Sorry to wake you, love," he said bending forward to kiss her lightly on the lips.

"It's okay," she said sitting up and getting up off the bed, "I didn't mean to fall asleep." She followed him down the stairs and didn't ask any questions until they were on the main floor.

"What's this about Jack?" she said sounding groggy and rubbing her eyes.

"Luis," Jack said simply, "He wants to see the both of us outside. He says it's important. You'll need a coat or sweater, it's chilly out and I'm sure he'll keep us out there for half the night."

"Great," Lily said under her breath as she turned to look for a sweater. Hermione came into the room with a sweater draped over her arm.

"It's one of Jack's but it'll serve the purpose," she said handing it to her.

Because she was wearing a white tank top that revealed her upper back and shoulders, Harry was able to see something that scared him greatly. On her back was a long white thin scar. It looked as if it had been painful whenever it happened though it looked like it was several years old.

Lily put on the sweater which appeared to be a Hogwarts Qudditch sweater. Apparently they made them now and they told who had won the Qudditch house cup for a particular year. The sweater was in Gryffindor's house colors and had names on the back of it. Harry noticed at the bottom it read: Co-Captions Lily Elizabeth Potter and Jack Jasper Weasley. Snapping himself back to reality he saw Jack holding the door open for Lily as she stepped outside.

"Don't hold dinner for us," Jack said as he tuned to leave.

"Okay Son, and don't let him push you around. And stand up for Lily," Ron said as Jack shut the door. Ron then turned to Harry and stood up, "Let's go somewhere we can talk okay?"

"Sure," Harry said as Ron led him into what appeared to be a small study. The room was decorated in dark colors and had a large overstuffed couch on one side, and wooden desk on another. Hundreds of books lined the other two walls and on various bookshelves around the room. Ron took a seat on the corner of the desk and motioned for Harry to sit on the couch.

"Okay, so you probably want to know what that's all about," Ron said in a light tone but with a serious expression.

Harry's mind was racing. There were so many questions running through his mind, he didn't know where to start. "Why is my daughter in contact with the head of the auror department, and what does that have to do with Jack? I know you said they were training, but trainees hardly capture much attention from the department head," Harry said matter-a-factly.

"Well, I guess it's always best to start from the beginning," Ron stated, "It didn't take long for people to take notice of Lily after she came to Hogwarts. She was smart beyond her years, and what's more she is your daughter. Let's just say she had her fair share of enemies. A group of Voldermort's surviving death eaters have formed a group they call The Circle. At first we didn't give them much attention, but they have become a very real threat to the peace. They attacked Hogsmade several times trying to get to the school over the past six years before they finally succeeded last year. Hermione and I have worked closely with the Order trying to bring this group to its knees but we always seem to be one step behind them. Jack and Lily started to display some unique characteristics during their second year, and…well the ministry took notice. They have already gone through a lot of the auror training you and I went through. The department is using them for undercover work mostly and keeping tabs on the students at Hogwarts who are children of those we believe to be in The Circle."

"What kind of characteristics are you talking about," Harry said before Ron could go any further.

"Telepathy is one of them. They both tend to have visions or premonitions about the future. They also seem to have this sense about whether people are good or bad at heart. Jack tried explaining it to me once; he said it's like being able to tell if someone's heart is pure or corrupted. The auror department has found them quite useful. They both have jobs lined up for after next year. They were told they would need no more training. They'll be certified aurors once they graduate."

Harry held up his hand to stop Ron from continuing, "But they're so young. Have they been on any real missions yet?"

"Yes, they spent most of the last two summers on one mission or another. They are not allowed to talk about much."

Ron stopped talking for a moment and looked at his friend to see how he was taking all of this. Harry sat with his elbows on his knees and his eyes on the floor. His expression was difficult to read. "I get the feeling that there is more to this than you are letting me in on," Harry finally said.

Ron began again without further hesitation, "Last summer, while on a mission Jack and Lily brought down a number of The Circle's key members. That was part of the reason there was an attack at Hogwarts last year. They wanted revenge, and…well… they got it to an extent. They had come with the intent on killing both Lily and Jack but were unable to. They did however manage to kill one of their very good friends in the process, a fact which as caused both of them no small amount of pain over the past few weeks. The real problem we have to face now is the leader of this Circle. He has taken a particular liking to Lily and will stop at nothing to cause her pain and grief."

"Who is it?" Harry wondered again.

"Malfoy," Ron answered quietly.

"WHAT," Harry said as he rose from his seat and looked at Ron as if he had lost his mind.

"Draco Malfoy," Ron repeated.

"That son of a bitch," Harry said as he began to pace the room in anger. After a few moments of tense silence he calmed down and returned to his seat with his head in his hands. "I really thought what I did would have kept her safe from things like this."

Ron shook his head and took a step toward his friend, "You did keep her safe for a while. She's alive, and that's all that matters. We will never know what would have happened if you had not done what you did. I'm not going to lie to you mate, I was very mad about what you did at first. It took me a while to see that it was for the best. You and I both know that if you had remained alive in the eyes of the wizarding world than Lily would have been killed and maybe even you, but for real this time. You did the right thing, Harry." Ron was now sitting next to Harry with his hand on his shoulder.

"How am I going to tell her the truth?" Harry asked out loud to himself.

"I know Lily. She'll understand. But I agree with you about not telling her right away when she came home today. That would have been a shock. Tell her sometime when it is just the two of you maybe. I'd be surprised actually if she does not figure it out for herself. Don't let her touch you until you tell her, or else she will know. She will be able to sense what you're feeling and that will give it away."

"Okay, I'm going to tell her soon though," Harry said looking down at the wood floor once more clearly deep in thought.

"Well, I'm going to leave you alone for a while. I'll have 'Mione save you a plate," Ron said as he got up and left Harry alone with his thoughts.

"Okay, so what's this all about," Jack asked once they met Richard under the tree in their backyard.

"It's about Malfoy," he said standing up with his hands in his pockets.

"What isn't," Jack replied with cool sarcasm.

"What is it this time?" Lily asked with her arms folded across her chest. Jack looked at her and saw that familiar look on her face. Whenever they talked about Malfoy he noticed her face tense up and he could also sense some kind of fear deep inside her. This was strange because he never knew Lily to be afraid of anything.

"He's up to something. We just don't know what yet," Richard said breaking into Jack's trance.

"Draco Malfoy is always up to something," Lily said under her breath.

"What do you want us to do about it?" Jack asked looking back at him.

"He's having another party this weekend. That's the mission I'm sending you on. I want you to assume your old aliases and try and find out all you can. Then I want to talk to you about a month long mission to Africa that will take place sometime during next school year."

Jack held up his hand furious, "Wait just one minute! You want us to go back to Malfoy pretending to be the same people as before? I thought the department decided that wasn't a good idea considering what happened last spring. What if he knows about us? What if he knows we're the ones who got all his people killed and sent to prison? Do you even realize the risk you're asking us to take? And what is this bull about a mission to Africa? What does Africa have to do with anything?"

"I understand this is difficult on you both. But you must understand the good that can come of this," Richard said with fake sincerity.

"Look, when we signed up for this auror training program at the beginning of last year we didn't sign up for all this. Being an auror is the only thing I've ever wanted to do. But you have no idea what it's cost the both of us. You don't have to look in to my mother's eyes every time I go on one of those missions. She looks at me like she's never going to see me again!" Jack said this and glanced back at Lily who looked just as mad.

"Being an auror means you have to take risks like that," Richard's voice had lost all its comfort and his words where now as harsh as his eyes.

"Don't you dare lecture me on taking risks," Lily said looking completely infuriated, "I've lost both my parents and a best friend fighting against one evil or another! I've put my life on the line willingly countless times in hopes that maybe what we're doing will would keep others out of harms way. And all it's done is caused more pain and heartache. Look what happened last year. Two students at Hogwarts died in that attack not to mention aurors and other law enforcers. When is it gonna to be enough?"

"When we find out what they're planning," Richard countered quickly.

"And what then?" she asked taking a step forward, challenging him without words.

"Then we fight," Richard replied showing no signs of backing down, "Unless you're afraid," he looked at her with an evil look in his eye.

Jack knew Richard had gone over the line with that comment and he stepped in between of them trying to separate the feuding pair. "Now what a minute! Let's just calm down," he said trying to reason with them, though his head was telling him to slug Richard in the face. Lily would have none of it; she acted like Jack hadn't said anything at all.

"You unimaginable bastard," she said in a low voice, "Nothing you could ever say would frighten me. I have seen things in my life that would leave you crying in the corner like a little school girl."

Richard laughed heartily, "If you're referring to one of the missions I've sent you on, I assure you none of them are anything in comparison to the things I've seen in all my years with the department."

"I never said anything about any mission," she said emotionless.

"Care to elaborate on that, Potter?" he challenged further

"Not to you I don't," she said taking a step back and looking at Jack who had a puzzled look on his face. He had no idea what she was talking about. This part of Lily's life remained a mystery to him.

"Well, the attack at Hogwarts wouldn't have been so hard on you if you hadn't-"

Richard began to say this but was cut off quickly by Lily who was right back in his face, "If I had what? If I had been able to save Allan? That's what you're thinking isn't it? Why don't you just go ahead and say it. You think I'm weak for not being able to save his life, don't you?"

"Yes I do," Richard said coldly never even blinking.

"Luis!" Jack screamed trying to get someone's attention.

Lily talked right over Jack, as if he had said nothing. "Than you don't know anything about me," she said taking yet another step towards him. They were now only inches apart. She continued to talk at a normal level though her tone revealed the true anger behind her words, "Because if you did you, would know I would've given my life to save his. He was one of my best friends and I would give anything to go back to that day and replace my fate with his. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and what I could have done to save him. I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about how I should be the one lying dead in a grave and not Allan. That's not what he deserved. But there was nothing I could do and you know it!"

"Just keep telling yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night," Luis said looking away.

"Luis, you taken this far enough! You have no right to talk about things you know nothing about!" Jack said nearly foaming at the mouth. He had never heard anyone talk to Lily like that. He knew just how much it had hurt her because he could feel it. She was completely broken over what he said, though he knew she would never let Luis know it.

Lily stepped back and placed a hand on Jack's heaving chest preventing him from lunging at Richard and giving him a piece of his mind. "Forget about it Jack," she said in a not so soothing voice. She turned back to Richard who kept his ground, "We'll go on your little mission and gather all the information we can. But know that we're not going because you told us to. We're going because there's a slight chance that some good may come of it. Now why don't you explain the details of these missions to us so we can all go to bed?"

Richard nodded his head and they took a seat at the outdoor table in Jack's backyard. The family had shared many happy summer meals out here on this table. But this was no such occasion.

It was nearly midnight before Lily and Jack were able to come back inside the house. They were both fuming. They entered the kitchen and saw Jack's mum had left them both leftovers from dinner.

"Are you hungry?" Jack asked looking at Lily who was pacing the floor.

"Who the hell does this guy think he is? I mean he wants us to go on a month long mission to Africa in the middle of the school year! What the hell are the other aurors in the department doing? Technically we aren't even aurors because we haven't graduated yet," she looked at Jack who was holding up a plate of mashed potatoes and steak. "No Jack, I'm not hungry."

"Well, the mission doesn't even start for another six months. A lot can change between now and then. It wouldn't be the first time they've wanted to send us on a mission and then changed their minds. Let's just wait and see what happens," he was trying really hard to calm her down even though he was just as mad and knew they had every right to be pissed off.

"Sure it doesn't start for another couple of months, but he's got us training for it starting at the end of August! And he's got us going on this mission this weekend! This is our last year at Hogwarts for crying out loud! Our last year to play Qudditch! How are we going to caption the team if we aren't there to hold practice for a month?"

"Well, we need to start looking for a caption to take our place after we leave next year. I guess this might be a golden opportunity to see who is cut out for the job," he said putting the plate aside realizing that he wasn't hungry either.

"And where does he get off telling me I was weak in not being able to save Allan? He wasn't there…he doesn't know what really happened. I tried to save him…but he was one the other side of the dungeon and I couldn't get to him in time," she was now beginning to get upset again. Her expression softened from one of rage to one of complete sorrow. Her eyes glossed over and she stopped pacing.

This was the one thing that really made Jack's hatred of Richard Luis go over the edge. He had made Lily feel she was responsible for the death of their good friend, and for that Jack would never forgive him.

He walked over to her and crushed her tense body against his, "I know it's not your fault, and so does everyone else. Luis is an ass and everyone knows that as well. You are not the reason Allan died. He choose to be there and fight. He could have stayed up in his common room just like everyone else."

Lily pulled away and started walking toward the stairs, "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning," she called over her shoulder.

He knew this was a time when they should talk things through, but he also knew when she needed to be left alone. He walked with her to the stairs and before she was about to step up the first stair he turned her around by taking her hand, "Good night, I love you. And don't stay up worrying over this, we'll work it out."

He kissed her on the lips and she offered him a small smile, "I love you too," she said before turning and walking up the stairs. She looked as if they had just lost a really big Qudditch game. Well…at least he figured that's how she would look, because they had never lost a Qudditch game in six years of playing for Gryffindor.

a/n- Well, I've just given you two chapters in one night. Please tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter Six: Screaming for Help

a/n- Okay, there's good news and bad news...The good news is that you all have another chapter to read. The bad news is that I don't know when the next one will be out. As I said before I'm updating and fixing the story as I go along. I have about twenty or so chapters written already, but I want to do some work on them before I post them. I also need to write the ending...As I am a college student and I have exams ALL next week I don't know if I will be posting any next week. I might though. At any rate you will have this chapter and maybe one more before my hell week starts! Cheers!

Chapter Six: Screaming for Help

Harry opened his eyes to discover he was still in the in the study. He looked around him and all he could see was darkness. He got up and stepped out of the room following the flickering orange glow coming from the living room. When he entered the room he was immediately embraced by warmth of the fire. Once inside, Harry noticed that he was not alone. Sitting on the couch facing the fire was a very angry looking Jack Weasley. Harry walked toward him slowly and watched him stare into the flames.

"Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here," Harry said as he turned to leave, not even thinking that Ron and Hermione had forgotten to tell him what room he could stay in.

"No stay, I could use some company," Jack said running his fingers along the rim of the mug in his right hand. He was still wearing the cloths Harry had last seen him in when he and Lily left to go talk to Richard Luis.

Harry took a seat in the overstuffed chair across from the couch, "You look pissed off to put it lightly."

"Yeah …well that man has that affect of me I guess," Jack said as he took as sip of his tea.

"Are you talking about this Luis guy," Harry asked.

"Yeah, he and I don't get along too well…or at least not anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Let's just say he did something that put someone I love in danger, and that person has never been the same since," Jack replied softly.

"You're talking about Lily aren't you…you're girlfriend?" Harry was eager to get on the subject of his daughter.

"Yeah."

"Does this have something to do with the battle at Hogwarts last spring?"

Jack smiled sarcastically, "You heard about that too, huh?"

"Who didn't," Harry said shrugging his shoulders, "It was in all the papers."

Jack nodded his head and looked down, "Lily could have died that night. And all because that man didn't think things through before he sent us on his stupid mission. I don't care what he says; Malfoy it was us who set him up. If he didn't then he wouldn't have come to Hogwarts in the first place."

"I read that you were the one injured," Harry said honestly. He had read that Lily was involved but he hadn't read she was in that much danger.

"I was injured. We were out at the Qudditch field when we saw some flashes coming from the school. We raced up there and the place was already in chaos. I got separated from her just after that. I was dueling with a group of death eaters for a good half hour before everything went blank. I woke up in the hospital wing and they told me they didn't know where Lily was. Turns out she was in the dungeons with Allan fighting some death eaters. Allan was killed and that left her to finish them off on her own. She could have just as easily died herself. She wasn't hurt bad, she only dislocated a shoulder and had a few scrapes and cuts. But a part of her did died that day and she's still trying to get it back."

Harry tried to hide the tears in his eyes despite the fact that Jack hadn't looked up at him in several minutes. "Does that have to do with your friend Allan dying?"

"Partly," Jack said looking over at the fire and seeing it was burning low. He got up and placed several logs on top until the fire was raging again. "She had to kill two people that night. I don't think she's ever forgiven herself for it. Lily always blames herself for things she has no control over. She's been like that for as long as I've known her," he said shaking his head.

Harry recognized this kind of guilt. "But they would have killed her if she hadn't killed them first, right?"

"Yes, they would have. But she doesn't see it that way. She blames herself for Allan's death too. And she blames herself for not being able to find an alternative for killing the death eaters responsible for his death. She was so angry at herself after it happened. It took me weeks to get to the bottom of what was troubling her."

"You both are so young. I can't believe all the obstacles you've faced together."

"Well, don't let anyone fool you. She's the strong one. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for her," Jack looked over at Harry and gave him a stern look. From the look in his eyes Jack was telling the truth, he would be lost without her.

"Where is she now?" Harry asked looking around the room.

"She wasn't too happy about what Luis had to say either. She said she was going up to bed, but if I know Lily she's up in her room right now doing anything but sleeping. She can never sleep with things on her mind either," Jack said chuckling to himself.

"How long has she been your girlfriend?" Harry asked even though he already knew the answer because Ron had told him earlier. He was hoping to change the subject away from the battle. He could tell Jack was upset about it.

"We started dating two years ago, but Lily's more than just my girlfriend. She's my best friend. She has been for years now, since that first night at the welcoming feast. She just sat down and we hit it off. When I think about something happening to her I just…" Jack stopped talking suddenly and looked toward to ceiling listening closely.

"What is it…?" Harry wondered now looking at the ceiling himself. Just then they heard a female voice screaming in great pain from the floor above.

Jack raced up the stairs with Harry close behind him. "Who is that screaming?" he asked when they were halfway up the stairs.

"It's Lily," Jack answered as he ran up the remaining stairs and down the right. As they approached the door the screams got louder. When Jack opened the door, Harry heard his daughter not only screaming in pain but pleading for her life.

"PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!" Lily was tossing and turning in her bed with tears streaming down her face.

Jack ran to one side of the bed and Harry ran to the other. By now Ron and Hermione were awake and came running into the room rubbing their eyes but looking extremely concerned.

"What is it, Son?" Ron asked frantically as he came closer to the four poster bed.

"I don't know she just started screaming like this again," Jack replied sitting on the bed next to Lily.

"Again? This has happened before," Harry asked frantically.

Ignoring Harry's question Jack started shaking Lily's shoulders trying to wake her up, "Come on Lily! Its Jack…I'm right here…you need to wake up and come back to us! Whatever they're doing to you will be over once you open your eyes." Lily continued crying and trashing about in her sleep in spite of all Jack's efforts.

"PLEASE…I'LL DO ANYTHING…JUST PLEASE STOP…I DON'T UNDERSTAND…," Lily screamed once more and arched her shoulders as if someone had hit her in the small of her back. Harry looked down at the sheets and saw blood. Her lip was bleeding and her cheek looked bruised.

Harry quickly grew tired of people ignoring him and walked around the bed to where Ron stood with Hermione. He took Ron by the arm and got his attention by shaking him firmly. "Who is she talking to?"

"We don't know, she won't tell anyone," Ron answered flatly not taking his eyes off Lily.

Harry looked over at Lily and Jack and was glad to see that he had gotten her to open her eyes and look at him. "What the hell happened?" Jack said as he bent over to hold her close in his arms as she began to sob uncontrollably. She didn't say anything; she just clung to Jack as if her life depended on it.

"Lil, I've got you now. Mum and Dad are here. It's just us, no one is going to hurt you anymore. But I can't help you if don't tell me who's been hurting you." Jack pulled away from Lily and held her by her shoulders looking at her now with tears in his own eyes. Harry could tell that it physically hurt Jack to see her in such incredible pain, and once again he was grateful to him for taking care for her so much.

Jack reached up to her lip and wiped some blood away along with some tears. He traced the bruise on her cheek with his index finger. He asked in a very soft and comforting voice, "Who hurt you?"

Lily opened her month to speak but instead of words she suddenly began screaming again. Jack let go of her in astonishment and looked at his parents for help. Lily was now curled up in a little ball screaming and whimpering in agony. Harry had tears in his own eyes and was also looking at Ron and Hermione. Hermione put her hand on Harry's shoulder. No one was really all that sure what they should do.

"Can't you do something?" Harry asked with a shaky voice. Both Ron and Hermione shook their heads.

Jack turned his attention back to Lily and touched her shoulder gently, "Lily you've got to tell me where it hurts, baby."

Through clinched teeth Lily replied, "EVERYWHERE" Jack looked at his parents in horror.

Ron looked at Harry again and said with confidence, "The Cruciatus Curse."

"It has to be…but how…no one here has put it on her," Harry asked half to Ron and half to himself.

Jack was so absorbed with what was happening to Lily that he didn't hear any of Ron and Harry's conversation. If he had, he most likely would have wondered why a stranger was this concerned.

"That's it…I'm taking her to St. Mungos," Jack said scooping her up in his arms and looking to his parents before disappearing. Harry, Ron, and Hermione soon followed where they knew he had gone. Once things came into sight they saw Jack running up the steps of the hospital. They ran after him not even thinking about the fact that Ron and Hermione were still in their night cloths.

Jack busted through the front doors and immediately started screaming himself, "SOMEBODY HELP ME! PLEASE WE NEED HELP!" Two healers came over to Jack and they led him behind a set of double doors. Another healer stopped Harry, Ron and Hermione from going after them.

"You'll have to wait in here. Someone will be with you shortly." They were led into a private waiting room off to the side of the emergency area. This place had changed a lot since the last time Harry had seen it.

"What the hell is going on?" Harry asked as soon as the healer closed the door.

"We don't know, Harry. Lily started having those dreams last year after she and Jack went on their first mission. They've steadily gotten worst. She screams in pain but her pain usually ends when Jack or one of us wakes her up. She usually fine after that, but the last few times it's happened she had been really tired and achy for a few days after the dreams. I've even seen bruises on her arms and legs after she has had a dream, though she does her best to hide them. We know that in her dreams she's reliving a memory. We just can't get her to tell us what it is. Jacks tried to get her to talk to him and so have Ron and I. She just won't talk," Hermione said quickly.

"It's something that happened to her before she came to Hogwarts. It has to be because I think Hermione and I would know about something had happened after she came to school," Ron said taking a seat and running his hands through his hair.

Harry was pacing the room and staring at the door waiting for someone to come back and give them some kind of news, "Whatever it is it was something big to have caused her such pain all these years."

Hermione spoke up again, "That's just it Harry I don't recall her having any problems with dreams until they posed as a death eater couple for the first time at that party last summer. Perhaps that party brought back a memory her mind had suppressed."

"I don't know what is causing this. But someone is trying to hurt my little girl and I'll be damned if I just stand by and let it happen," Harry said angrily.

"I don't know what we can do, Harry. Until she tells us what happened to her. There is no way to know what memory or experience is causing this until that happens," Ron stated.

Harry stopped pacing and looked his friend in the eye. "Ron, she's my daughter. I know what its like to be haunted by a past you don't want to talk to anyone about, even those you love. She's not alone in that aspect of things anymore."

"You're going to tell her?" Hermione wondered hopefully.

"As soon as we know she's okay," Harry said firmly.

Several minutes passed between the friends in complete silence. Harry was running the events of the night through his mind. He couldn't get the image of his daughter in that much pain out of his mind.

After about an hour a female healer came into the waiting room, "You may go back and see her now. She is stable though very weak. She's been sedated to help control the pain and cease anymore nightmares. She will be allowed to go home tomorrow if all goes well and as long as you promise to have her rest. You are forbidden from asking her any questions regarding her dreams tonight. The other healers and myself feel it would be unhealthy for her because she is so frail at the moment."

With that and not another word the healer walked out of the room with Ron, Hermione, and Harry close in toe. They went through the double doors and down a long hallway filled with people and medical instruments lining the walls. They came to the last door on the left. The healer opened the door and stood aside letting the three adults pass her. Once they were inside she closed the door to keep out the noise from the hallway.

Lily was on the hospital bed, looking about as pale as the bed sheets around her. She had her eyes closed but they could tell she really was sleeping peacefully this time because her breathing was very steady. Jack was sitting in a chair with his back to the door holding her hand.

Ron came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Is she okay?"

"They say she will be, but I know better. She's not okay. She's suffering in silence and has been for a long time. I just don't know what to do about it," Jack said as he lowered his head and rested it on the edge of Lily's bed never letting go of her hand.

"What happened at that first party you went to where you posed as the death eater couple?" Hermione asked as she patted Jack on the back and then walked over to Ron and leaned against the wall.

Jack raised his head up and looked over at Lily's sleeping form on the bed. He began his story in a very quiet voice first. "We got there just as everyone else was arriving. We mingled for a few moments before we met Malfoy. He greeted us and when she took Lily's hand she got this strange expression on her face. Afterward she glanced at me and got all pale and scared looking, and then she excused herself to the restroom."

"And she started having these dreams after that?" Harry wondered, unable to keep silent any longer.

"I don't know exactly. She could have had them before this but I know they got a lot worse after that yes," Jack answered looking Harry in the eye silently pleading for help. Harry looked away not wanting to Jack to realize the pain in his eyes was the pain a father has when his child has been hurt.

"How long has she had those scars on her back," Harry asked remembering them from earlier in the evening.

"She's had them since I've known her. She says they're birth marks," Jack said looking down to make sure she wasn't waking up.

"Strange looking birthmarks," Harry replied knowing full well it was a lie. He would have remembered something like that. She certainly had gotten the scars between the time after he left and before she came to Hogwarts.

"We've got to get back to the house to check on the other children. Did they give Lily a dreamless sleep potion," Hermione asked.

"Yes, but you guys go on without me. I'm not leaving her, nor after all that's happened. She may not remember coming here and I want to be here when she wakes up," Jack said looking back to his mother.

"Okay, we'll come back tomorrow morning to help you bring her home. And I'll owl Luis at the department. It's not a good idea for you guys to be going on that mission this weekend and I think for once he'll agree with me," Ron said as he and Hermione walked toward the door. Jack nodded in response but his eyes never left the lifeless girl in front of him.

When Ron looked back he noticed that Harry had not moved from Lily's bedside. "Harold, are you coming with us?" Ron asked reminding Harry that in the eyes of Jack he was still just a friend of the family and not Lily's father. Harry reluctantly followed his friends out of the hospital room.

Once outside the room Harry asked Ron, "Do you really think it's wise to leave them alone?"

"Harry, Jack and Lily have been taking care of themselves and each other for years now. If anyone can help Lily now, Jack can. I know you're upset about all this, but we'll talk to Lily tomorrow when she comes home," Ron patted his friend on the back before they apparated back to their house.

The minutes passed like hours for Jack sitting by Lily's bedside hopping for her to wake up. He ran the events of the past few hours over and over in his mind. Obviously she had had these dreams before, but they were never this bad.

Most of the time she would have them in the early morning, and Jack would be the only one she woke up because he was a light sleeper. Other times she would have them in the middle of the night, but wouldn't make a noise. Jack would instinctively wake up with the feeling that she needed him. He would go into her room and find her tossing and turning in her sleep. He'd wake her up and hold her in his arms for a little while. Then she was usually fine.

Now however the dreams had intensified. She was physically being beaten up in her dreams and had the bruises the prove it. Jack looked at her right arm, the one he was not holding, and noticed a large bruise between her elbow and her wrist.

He stood up from his chair and gently pulled back the sheets so they were past Lily's waist. He could see from the gap between her shirt and her pants that she also had bruises on her stomach. Moving her hands away from her stomach, Jack pulled her shirt up to her lower ribcage. Her entire ribcage was bruised and he could tell she had some bruised ribs. But it was something else on the side of her ribcage that caught his attention. She had a deep scar that by the looks of it must have been at least a few years old.

Unable to take anymore, he pulled her top down and covered her back up. Sitting down in his chair Jack laid his forehead on the bed once more and let the tears in his eyes flow. He couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt Lily. She had done nothing wrong.

"J…Jack," he heard a groggy voice say.

He raised his head to find Lily was awake and looking at him through squinted eyes. He grabbed her hand and wiped a tear from her face, "Thank god you're alright." He kissed the back of her hand softly and brushed small strands of hair off her face.

"I'm fine Jack…but how did I get here," she asked looking around the hospital room.

"I brought you here. You woke up screaming and I couldn't get you to stop this time…I didn't know what else to do," he said as tears once again began to fall, "Lil, it kills me to see you like this."

She brought her hand up to his face this time and wiped several of his fallen tears away. She looked him in the eye and could see his conflicting emotions, "I'm sorry I put you through this," she said before turning her head, beginning to sob quietly.

He reached over and tenderly turned her head to face him again, "Don't even think about being sorry. I'm just glad I came in when I did. I don't know what was happening to you, but I do know it was going to kill you if you didn't wake up. And it may have killed you again if I hadn't gotten you here when I did. The healer's told me that much."

She took hold of his other hand and looked at him through puffy eyes, "Let's not talk about this tonight…can't you just hold me?"

Jack hesitated for a second. He had seen the bruises all over her body even if she didn't think he had, "I want to Lil…it's just that…I don't want to hurt you anymore than you already have been."

"I think the healer gave me something for pain because I'm basically numb. Besides, I know you could never hurt me."

He nodded his head and got into bed with her. She placed her head on his chest and let out a deep sigh. Laying there in each other's arms they forgot about all that had happened for a little while and let sleep take them to a place without the pain they were both feeling.

Morning came to the Weasley house at a later hour than usual. Harry of course had not slept a wink, but everyone else slept in due to their lack of sleep the night before. When Harry, Ron, and Hermione arrived home from the hospital they found the remaining four Weasley children wide awake and waiting for them in the living room. They all seemed so concerned for Lily and wanted to know where they were.

Harry was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee when Hermione and Ron came down the stairs around ten-o-clock due to their late night trip to the hospital. "Hey, how ya doing mate," Ron asked as he poured himself a large cup of coffee and sat down next to him.

"I've been better," Harry answered under his breath.

The back door was pushed open at that exact second and Jack peeked his head in the house, "Morning everyone," he said as he stepped aside to reveal that he had Lily with him. She looked considerably better than she had the night before. Her bruises her healed, but she still appeared to be very weak.

Hermione ran over to the door, "Lily how are you feeling, dear?"

Jack held her hand tightly to steady her and she held on to his arm with the hand he was not holding, looking rather stiff and in a little bit of pain. She was very off balance and looked like she had been up for days.

She offered Hermione a small smile, "I'm fine, Aunt Hermione."

Jack led her into the living room and sat her down on the couch taking a seat next to her. Hermione entered moments later with a cup of tea for Lily and she handed Jack a cup of coffee. Jack took the mug but never drank out of it; he was too busy staring at Lily trying to see if she was really okay.

"We didn't know they were going to release her so early. We would have come up and helped you," Ron said taking a seat and gesturing for Harry to do the same.

"We just wanted to get out of there," Jack told his father in a low voice. Lily said nothing for several minutes.

After taking several very short sips of tea Lily turned to Ron, "I'm really sorry about waking you guys up last night, Uncle Ron."

Ron shuck his head, "No Lily we're just glad that you're okay now. You had us worried sick."

Setting her cup down on the coffee table she looked down at her feet, "I know and I'm sorry I put you through that."

"It's not your fault. We just need to know why you keep having these dreams. Obviously they're getting worse and we need to think of a way to stop them," Ron said eyeing Harry cautiously.

"You can't stop them, no one can. But I don't want to talk about it. I'd rather forget the whole thing actually," Lily said standing up and walking over to the window.

Jack was not taking no for an answer however. He snapped his head towards her and spoke forcefully, "No Lily, not this time. I'm not letting you brush this off again and wake up to find you dead in your bed one morning. Tell us what is causing you to have these dreams."

"Please Jack, I just want to forget about it. It's something I've spent the better part of seven years trying to forget," Lily said looking at him with very visible tears in her eyes.

"Well clearly that isn't working. Tell me the truth! You've always been able to tell me anything. When did that change?" Jack asked looking hurt.

Lily looked at him with eyes that had now turned to anger, "You want to know the truth? You really want to know? Well here it is Jack Weasley…I spent the last five months before I came to Hogwarts in a prison. Oh yes…a prison where I was tortured in mind and body everyday. I spent five months in the custody of death eaters who had every intention of keeping me there for the rest of my life…or how ever long they were going to let me live." Her voice had now reached the level of screaming and her eyes never left Jack's.

Lily said all this while walking closer to Jack who was still sitting on the couch looking stunned beyond words. When she got close enough to him he stood up and tried to reach out to her, but she pushed his hands away.

"No Jack, you wanted the truth so you're going to get it! You want to know about the all those times I sat in that dungeon praying that God would let me die so that my pain would go away. When I was first brought there I begged and pleaded for days to know what I had done to deserve such treatment. It didn't take me long to realize that it was not me who had done anything wrong; it was who I was plain and simply wrong. I'm the famous Harry Potter's daughter, destined for hardship and pain since the day I was born! Not long after I realized this, I started begging for a different kind of mercy. I begged them to end my life and have it all be over. The Potter bloodline would be gone and all their problems would be solved. Then Draco Malfoy paid me a little visit one day," Lily saw the shock in Jack's eyes, "Oh yes the same Draco Malfoy we all know and love. He explained to me that he was not going to kill me just then. He said he wanted Harry Potter to know just how much he made his daughter suffer. And when I was old enough he said he would take pleasure in knowing how angry Harry Potter would be if he knew I had been forced to carry the next generation of Malfoy children. He was going to rape me Jack! Rape me and force me to give birth to his bastard children. Do you know what it's like to live in that kind of fear?"

Jack tried again to reach out to comfort her once more but this time she shoved him away so hard he nearly fell over. Hermione had her hand over her mouth and tears where running down her face. Ron sat with Harry, both of them in complete silence.

Lily began talking again this time though her voice softer as tears too made their way down her cheeks, "I was ten years old Jack! Ten years old and all I wanted to do was die so that it would be over! Not only was I tormented for five solid months, but the things I was subjected to continue to haunt me to this day. I see him in my dreams. He comes to me and tells me that his plans for me are not yet over, and that one day he'll come for me again and finish what he started. And now after what happened last night it appears that he has the power to hurt me while I'm awake. Well you know what, Jack? I wish he would just come and take me already and get it over with, because I can't take much more of this!"

With those last words Lily started sobbing into her hands and allowed Jack to take her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest and after a few moments she wrapped her own arms around his waist and returned his embrace. She continued to sob as her body shook with grief, having finally let go of the horrors she had been carrying all by herself for seven years.

Jack rubbed her back and tried to comfort her in the only way he knew how, "Lily, everything is going to be okay. I'm never going to let anything happen to you. You've got to believe me. I just wish you would have told me about this sooner. I could have helped you deal with it…I could have been there for you. All I've ever wanted to do was keep you safe. I'd die if something happened to you," he said pulling away from her slightly and walking her toward the stairs. They walked up the stairs without a backward glance at the stunned parents they were leaving behind.

Once they were out of hearing range Hermione let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding, "I can't believe she's been carrying that around all this time."

Harry simply put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Ron put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "You alright, Harry?"

"No Ron, I am very far from being alright!" Harry said angrily as he stood up and started pacing the room.

"Harry," Ron began cautiously. "I know you're upset…but you can't-"

Harry snapped his head violently in to look Ron in the eye. "Upset? I'm more than upset! I've never been so infuriated in my entire life!"

"Harry, please! Keep your voice down!" Hermione pleaded glancing up at the ceiling where Jack and Lily were on the floor above.

Harry was about to recant with something smart, but instead took a tense but cleansing breath and looked down. "I need some air," he told them. "I'm going outside for a few minutes." With that, Harry walked stiffly out the door and into the backyard.

"You'd better go after him," Hermione advised.

"Maybe he needs some time alone," Ron guessed.

"Ron, this is what Harry does when he's hurting. He runs away. He may say he wants to be alone, but he really needs to face this. It's the only way he's going to accept it and be there for Lily," Hermione said seriously.

"I know," Ron said looking at the door. "I'm going. I just don't really know what to say. What would I want him to say to me if it were my daughter in this position?"

"Lily is the closest thing you have to a daughter. You've loved her like she was our own child for as long as you've known her. How are you handling this news?" Hermione asked looking at her husband closer.

Ron thought about the question for a minute before responding. How did he feel about it? He hadn't really had time to think about all of it yet. The thought of someone hurting Lily made him crazy with anger. Hermione saw the conflicted look on his face and walked over to him, encircling him with her arms from behind.

"It's okay to be upset. We all are," she told him gently.

"We need to be strong for her," Ron said in an unsteady voice.

"Lily's not here right now. It's just you and me. I won't tell anyone you let your guard down for a few minutes."

Ron turned around to look Hermione in the eye. "I'm angry that this happened to her. I'm angry that I wasn't there to stop it. I'm hurt that she didn't tell us about it sooner. We could have helped her. There was no reason for her to go through this alone."

Hermione smiled through her unshed tears and shook her head. "Lily _is_ a Potter. She likes to hide from the things that cause her pain. Just like her father is doing right now. You can't blame yourself for that, it's genetic."

Ron's eyes that were once glazed over now brimmed red with tears. "I just hope we don't loose her like we lost Harry."

"We didn't loose Harry. He came back," Hermione reminded him.

"No, we lost who Harry used to be. Come on, 'Mione. I know you've noticed how much he's changed."

"Harry is just plagued by the past. He'll be back to normal once he knows everything is going to be alright," Hermione said, trying to sound confident.

"That's the problem. I don't know if things are going to be alright. I don't know how Lily's going to get past this."

"With our help. She's got to know that we're there for her. And she's got to know Harry's there for her too."

Ron kissed his wife's forehead. She always knew the right things to say. "Speaking of Harry, I guess I'd better get out there, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you better," Hermione said with a small smile.

"We might be a while. Come get us if Jack or Lily needs something."

"I will," she replied as she watched Ron walk slowly and mournfully out the back door.

Ron stepped out into the muggy summer air and looked around for where Harry had gone to. He didn't see him right away, so he decided to take a little walk around. He got to the tree line in their backyard and when he passed the first oak tree, he saw his friend sitting up against the tree.

"I don't know what to do," Harry said without even looking up.

Ron took a seat next to him and gazed up at the milky sky. "You don't know what to do about what?"

"I don't know how to face her again. I'm the reason this happened. If Malfoy hadn't hated me so much, maybe he wouldn't have done this to my daughter. She shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes."

"Harry, the only person at fault here is Draco Malfoy. He may have hated you, yes, but that doesn't give him the right to do what he did to Lily. Nothing would ever give him that right."

"But still…" Harry took a deep breath and stood up.

"Don't run away from this. You've got to face it. What happened happened; there was nothing you could do about it then, and there is nothing you can do about it now. We've all just got to face it and help Lily get through this."

Harry turned to face him and threw his hands up in frustration. "What do you want me to do, Ron? How can I tell her who I am now? I wasn't there when I should have been! I wasn't there when she needed me the most!"

Ron stood up as well. "She needs you just as much now as she ever has in the past. I've never seen Lily broken like this. All the fight in her is gone. She needs you to help her get it back!"

"I don't know how to help her!" Harry admitted, his face growing red with anger.

"All you have to do is be here!" Ron said taking a step forward.

"My being there isn't going to take it away! It isn't going to make it all disappear!" Harry countered taking yet another challenging step towards Ron.

"It isn't your job to make it disappear! It's your job to let her know that you love her! It's your job to show her that its okay to be afraid and angry and upset."

"Yeah well, I don't know how to show her that!"

"Welcome to parenthood," Ron said darkly, under his breath.

Without warning, Harry shoved Ron away from him. "Back off, Ron!"

The two friends stood staring at each other for a few tense seconds. Ron spoke first, breaking their awkward silence. "You wanna fight me? Fine, go ahead! If fighting me will help you escape the pain you're going through, then by all means be my guest. But whatever you're trying to get rid of, I promise you it'll be right there waiting for you when the fight's over."

Harry continued to stare at Ron with a hard expression, but all of a sudden backed off and walked a few steps away. "Why did this have to happen to her? Why couldn't they just leave her alone?" he asked miserably.

Ron claimed his voice slightly, but not much. "Look mate, I know you're hurting over this. It's got to be killing you to know what that man has done to her. But do not make the mistake of thinking that you're the only one who loves that girl in there. It's killing all of us."

Harry looked down at the ground and turned his back to Ron. A few minutes went by before Ron saw any movement from him at all. His shoulders were shaking and he could hear Harry's nearly silent sobs. He allowed Harry a few moments alone with his grief before he walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"It's gonna to be alright. We'll get thought this together…You, me, "Mione, Jack and kids…We've got to stick together if we're going to help Lily at all. We're the only family she's got."

Harry turned to face Ron and nodded his head slowly. "I…um…haven't really got the chance to thank you for all you've done for her over the past few years."

"She's the daughter I never had, mate. I mean that," Ron said with certainty.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me that you love her so much. I know she loves you all. I can see it in her eyes."

Neither of them noticed when the Weasley's second oldest son Andrew stuck his head out the back door. "What's wrong?" Andrew asked with concern in his voice.

Harry and Ron both looked up, startled to see Andy standing there. "Nothing Andy, Lily's just a little upset after last night, that's all," Ron said trying to sound reassuring but failing miserably.

"Is she going to be okay?" Andrew wondered with concern.

"Jack's with her now…I'm sure she'll be just fine after he gets her calmed down. Tell you what, why don't you take your brothers and go stay with your grandparents at the Burrow for the night. Things might get a little rough here and I don't want them to see it."

"Okay Dad," Andrew replied as he turned to go back into the house.

Ron turned to Harry. "Take a few minutes. Get yourself together and then come inside. I'm going to go help them get ready."

"Thanks," Harry replied watching Ron walk back up towards the house.

a/n- Well...review please!


	8. Chapter Seven: Heart to Heart

a/n- Studying is going really good right now, and because I got some reviews suggesting how heartless I was for leaving you all out on in the cold like I did in the last chapter...I decided to post another chapter!

Chapter Seven: Heart to Heart

Jack had to nearly carry Lily up the stairs she because she was so upset from their discussion downstairs. She was sobbing uncontrollably as she clung to him for support. He had never seen her so upset in all the years he had known her. She was always so together and displayed great control and restraint over her emotions, only allowing them to show in desperate situations or when she was under great stress. He mentally kicked himself for confronting her the way he did and making her spill her heart with everyone there to see.

Once they reached the top of the stairs Jack could hear Joe playing in his room. He knew all his other brothers were at home and he didn't want them to see Lily like this, so he led her into his room which was the first door on the right. The house they lived in was very large and the rooms were spacious. There were plenty of bedrooms for each of the children to have their own, but when they were younger they used to share rooms. Their parents insisted on this because they wanted their children to be close. Jack and Andrew shared a room up until Jack left for school. He had thought his parents were crazy for making do this at the time, but now that he looked back on their childhood memories he was glade they had been so adamant. It made really did make them closer.

Opening the door he pulled Lily inside quickly. Once inside, she let go of him and walked into his bathroom to get something to dry her eyes. When she came back Jack was sitting Indian style on his bed waiting for her. He motioned for her to join him so they could talk some things over without the pressure of having his parents and a total stranger listening to them. She sat down in front of in a similar fashion like he asked, but never met his eye.

"Are you okay?" he asked trying to get her attention.

"Yes, I'm better now," she said flatly.

Jack looked at her more closely and saw that she was fighting back tears. He lifted her chin with his index finger, "No you're not. You forget how well I know you. I don't even need to get inside your mind to know that you're still shaken and scared to death over this. It's okay to be scared, Lil! You don't need to be tough as a rock all the time, it's just me after all and I know the real you. I can tell when you're hurting."

Lily looked him in the eye shortly before returning her eyes to her lap. He was beginning to wonder if he should give her sometime to think by herself when she leaned her forehead into his chest. "I'm so sorry," she said in a muffled voice against his shirt.

His heart nearly broke to hear her say this as he wrapped his arms around her once more. He was the one who should be sorry, not her. "What do you have to feel sorry for?"

"I yelled at you down there. I always seem to do that. You didn't do anything wrong…I was just so…" She attempted to pull away from him but he held her tight.

"You were upset and I pushed you to tell me something you may not have been ready to talk about at that exact moment. I'm the one in the wrong here, Lil."

Lily pried herself from him and looked him in the eye willingly for the first time since they entered the room. "You were right, Jack. I should have told you about this a long time ago. The truth is that the dreams have been getting really bad lately. They're happening about three or four times a week, mind you they usually aren't as bad as they were last night."

Jack looked at her confused, "But I've only ever heard you scream in pain like that a dozen times in the past year, and never more than once in a single week. In fact last night was the first time in weeks I've had to wake you up from one of those dreams."

She broke their eye contact again, "Yeah, well I've taken to putting a silencing charm on my room so that when they happen I don't wake anybody up. I must have just forgotten to do it last night because I was upset about what happened with Luis. I don't even remember falling asleep I was just lying on my bed thinking and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital with you. I put the charm up because I don't want to worry you and your parents."

This time Jack was the one who brought his body to hers, "Lily, why would you do that. You know I'd stop at nothing to make sure you're safe."

"But you do help me when I have them without even knowing it! When I'm in the dream all I usually have to do is think of you and want to be with you, and then I wake up. Then once I'm awake I sneak into your room and watch you sleep. Being near you comforts me for some reason," Lily said returning his embrace.

Jack thought back to how many times he'd woken up in the early morning with the distinct feeling that she had been in his room. "Why don't you ever wake me up," he wondered

Lily smiled and looked up at him, "Well, you're just so cute when you sleep. I'd be a crime to disturb you."

"Why don't you just hop in bed with me and spend the night in here," Jack asked as he brushed a black curl out of her face.

"I think you're mum might be a little upset to come into your room and find me in your bed. Don't you think," she asked but with a rather seductive voice.

"Lily, my mother trusts us a lot more than you think she does. Besides we've taken naps together before and she's seen us. The first time she saw us together I believe was when she came into the common room one afternoon during fifth year. You were sleeping, but I was wide awake. I think we had a Qudditch game the next day or something and I was thinking about it. Anyway, she came in the portrait hole and I thought she was going to be mad at first. But she just smiled and told me that she was glad we have each other. She even thought we were cute there together if you can believe it," Jack said this as he moved his body up the bed to lean against the pillows. Once he was comfortable he opened up his arms up to her, "Come here, love."

"She really saw us and thought it was cute?" Lily asked as she laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

"Yeah she did. She and Dad and I have had the whole sex talk, you know. Just before they left for America last Christmas they sat me down and talked to me about some stuff. They thought we were already having sex," Jack admitted glad that he had gotten her mind off the row they had downstairs.

Lily raised her head in astonishment and looked up at him, "They didn't!"

"Oh yes they did! They told me they were our age when they started sleeping together and they felt you and I were mature enough to handle having that kind of a relationship so long as we were careful. They said that as long as they didn't catch us in the actual act of having sex, than they were okay with us sleeping together," he glanced at Lily who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and he added sarcastically, "Sleeping together in a sexual sense Potter, not in the sense you were discussing about your dreams. So I know they'd be okay with you sleeping in my room to avoid having nightmares!"

She rested her head on his chest once more, "So what did they say when you told them we have never had sex."

"They were surprised at first. But I explained to them that we had talked about it and you told me you weren't ready," he said rubbing her back gently.

Lily sat up when he finished what he was saying. Jack looked at her puzzled for a second as she took a deep breath, "There something about this whole Malfoy thing I have yet to explain to you, and I need you to be quiet and let me get it out before you say anything in response, okay?"

"Just tell me Lil," Jack said now sitting up himself.

"In order for a woman to carry the child of a Malfoy…he has to be the only man she has ever been with, which means that in order for his plan to work I need to be a virgin. It's some protection charm that was created by the families founding members and placed over all the Malfoy men and the woman they have children with. Supposedly it's meant to protect against promiscuity on behalf of the wives. Anyway, this was never a problem until you and I started dating. I know we had the sex talk and I told you I wasn't ready which was actually true because at that time I wasn't. I was scared and confused about a lot of things. But what I didn't tell you was that there was more to my reasoning than just being scared about the actual act of losing my virginity. You still didn't know what happened to me, and I didn't want you to find out months or years later and think that only reason I decided to make love to you was because of this whole Malfoy issue. I didn't want him to rule that part of my life. That part of our lives. Because deep down I have always thought you would be the first and only man I ever made love to," Lily finished her explanation and looked at Jack closer to gauge his reaction.

Jack had tears of his own running down his face by the time she was done talking. He took both her hands in his and looked her in the eye, "I have wanted to make love to you so badly for so long. But I understood why you weren't ready then or even now. I think you were right in not wanting Malfoy to control this part of us, because that would be allowing him to win and he's never going to win Lil. I'm not going to let him. Just know that whenever you're ready, than we'll take that next step and not a minute sooner," he laid back down opened he arms for her once more. She smiled and followed his lead.

Lily again lay down next to him, this time holding on to him tighter than she had before. "I know that when we do make love it will be special…because I'll be doing it with you," she said softy as she drew tiny invisible circles on the front of his shirt with her index finger.

"You mean that?" he asked with a voice full of emotion.

"With all my heart," she said quietly and then added after a few moments pause, "Thank you Jack," she said against his chest.

"For what, love," he wondered as he absentminded ran his fingertips through her long black hair.

"For everything," she answered softly. His shirt was already wet from her tears before, and he could feel she was crying again now. But this time he knew she wasn't crying because she was upset. "You've always been there for me when I needed you."

"That's never going to change Lily. Not in a million years," he reassured her as she drifted into a light sleep. Jack, however, didn't sleep a wink. He couldn't stop thinking about all that had happened. He sure had not seen this one coming.

About an hour later Lily got up from the bed saying that she wanted to take a shower. Jack said he would go downstairs and wait for her there. Once they stepped outside his door she turned and gave him a soft kiss on the lips and said, "Thanks again for understanding."

"Anytime hun…I'll see you downstairs when you're done," he replied as she turned and walked down the hall to her room. He couldn't help but feel extremely lucky to have her in his life. As much as she said he did for her, Jack still felt unworthy of her. She did so much more for him than she would ever know, and some day he promised himself that he would prove to her just how much she meant to him. After a few minutes of standing in the hallway deep in thought someone's voice interrupted his daydreaming. He was so distracted in his thoughts that he didn't notice another person was present in the hallway.

"Jack…You okay?" looking over his shoulder, Jack saw his dad looking very concerned. He had come from the direction of Andrew's room.

"Sure," he said as he rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose in frustration. He still couldn't believe all that he had found out today. He never wanted to kill anyone more than he wanted to kill Draco Malfoy at this very moment.

A few moments later Jack came back down the stairs with Ron who had an arm around him. "Lily's taking a shower. She said she'd come back down once she was done," Jack said as he collapsed on the couch. After a few moments of silence he spoke again. "Hey Mum, where were Andrew and the others going in such a hurry?"

"They're going to go and stay at the burrow with your grandparents for the night. I thought that would give us more freedom to talk," Hermione said reentering the room from the kitchen with another cup of coffee for Jack, as his first cup was now stone cold.

Jack looked up at his parents immediately. "What else is there to talk about? I just found out my girlfriend went through just about the most traumatic thing anyone can go through. I've never seen Lily like that, Mum. She's never been scared a day in her life, or so I thought," Jack added the last comment quietly almost to himself.

Ron and Hermione exchanged meaning full looks before Ron nodded his head and Hermione spoke for the both of them. "We have some other things that your father and I want to talk to Lily about when she comes back down from her shower," Hermione turning her gaze to eye Harry.

"What is this about? I hope it's not anything that's going to upset her," Jack said in almost a warning tone of voice.

"Let's just wait for Lily to talk about it," Hermione said holding up her hand to stop any further argument.

Just then a voice called from the entranceway, "What for Lily to talk about what?" They all looked up and saw Lily standing there looking slightly suspicious.

Jack sat up on the couch he had previously been laying down on to make room for Lily to sit down next to him, "That was quick."

"What do you need to talk to me about?" Lily asked as Jack took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"Well, it's not really us that need to talk to you," Ron said as he came into the room after sending the other children off through a fireplace upstairs.

Harry decided it was his turn to speak up and he knew if he didn't do it now he would loose his nerve, "I'm the one that needs to talk to you," he said in a shaky voice. "I've been lying to you about who I really am since I arrived here yesterday. You see Lily…my name is not Harold. But I was a friend of your parents while they were in school."

"Well then, who are you?" Lily asked nonchalantly.

Harry hesitated long enough to look to Ron and Hermione for some encouragement. They both smiled and nodded at him to continue. "My name is Harry."

Lily and Jack both stared at him blankly for a second. Jack sized Harry up suspiciously and put a protective arm around the motionless girl beside him. Lily looked back at Jack disbelievingly before turning back to face Harry.

"You're who?" Lily asked feebly.

"My name is Harry Potter. I'm your father, Lily."

For a few seconds, no one moved. Lily breathed heavily and stared at him while everyone else just sat there and observed what was unfolding.

Lily looked at him rather funny for a second and then got up and walked over to him. Harry stood up when she reached where he was sitting. She looked deeply into his eyes for a full minute before tears began to well up once more in her own. She said in an even shakier voice than Harry's had been."You have my eyes."

Harry smiled to himself at the remark, "I believe the expression is that you have my eyes. I guess it goes without saying that I never died." Harry had wanted to explain the whole situation to her but he was unable to when Lily ran into his chest and hugged him harder than anyone ever had hugged him throughout his entire life. Her head came up to about his middle chest and after the initial shock left he put an arm around her shoulders and a hand on the back of her head. He kissed the top of her head as tears ran off his face into her already soaking wet hair. After a few seconds of complete silence Harry heard sniffles coming from where Hermione and Ron were sitting. He looked up to see Hermione drying her eyes with the collar of Ron's shirt while he held her with a loose arm around her shoulders.

After another few moments Lily reluctantly pulled away from her father and sat down next to him. "How is this possible?" she asked in a voice no higher than a whisper.

Harry dried his own eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and began to explain, "When your mother was killed about a month after you were born, I was worried for your safety as well. Her death was very hard for me to process, and the thought of loosing you was unbearable. I walked things over with my supervisors and they all agreed that the threat to your life was a valid concern. So I faked my own death to ensure that no further harm would come to you. Though it seems I did it all for nothing because you ended up suffering just as much in the end," Harry said unable to look at her anymore.

Lily touched his shoulder softly, "You're so wrong. I may not have had the most wonderful and happy childhood, but it was certainly better than the not having a childhood at all. At the orphanage I was left alone and allowed to grow up as an almost normal little girl. The people at the orphanage had good intentions and they taught me a lot about how to look out for myself. I mean they did spend a lot of time teaching us to defend ourselves, and yes the atmosphere of the orphanage was often heavy and sad. But I made happy memories there. That's certainly better than no memories at all. I made friends while I was there. There were actually four of us who came to Hogwarts to attend school when we turned eleven. We were all sorted into different houses, but three out of the four of us are still good friends to this day," as Lily said this she looked over at Jack who's facial expression changed slightly when she said that only three out of the four of them were friends. Harry silently reminded himself to ask her about this later.

Her eyes got misty once more as she added, "I'm just so glad that you're real!" Lily again engulfed her father in a large hug, "This makes things so much easier to deal with."

Ron and Hermione were just thinking that perhaps they should let Harry and Lily have sometime alone when Lily spoke up, "Even when everything started to fall apart this past year, I still had Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron, and Jack to make me feel loved and wanted. They've helped me through so much over the past several years. They became like a family to me."

Harry looked to his friends, "They're the only family I ever had."

Lily continued, "I am who I am today because of you. When I was a little girl I read books about you in the library at the orphanage. I wouldn't change one thing about my life. Well, I guess other than what happened to me the spring before I came to Hogwarts. And I don't want you to blame yourself for my involvement in the resistance movement and with the ministry. If fighting against evil was something I didn't want to do than I would find something else I had a passion for," Lily looked down at her hands folded in her lap, "I wanted so much to make you proud of me."

This time it was Harry who pulled Lily into a rib crushing hug, "You have, honey. I was proud of you the second I laid eyes of you. I mean you're Qudditch caption," he added jokingly.

Lily looked over at Jack was beaming with happiness for her, "I'm only co-caption Dad!"

Harry cleared his throat and stood up crossing his arms. Lily stood up beside him and mimicked his behavior which only made him smile more. He finally said what he wanted to say, "Well, now that we're on the subject of Jack here, are you going to formally introduce me to your boyfriend properly now or what?"

Lily held out her hand toward Jack who came up next to her but instead of taking her hand he slipped his arm around her waist. Lily smiled at him and said to her father, "Dad, I'd like you to meet Jack Weasley."

Jack extended a hand to Harry and said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Potter."

Harry took Jack's hand but laughed at being addressed that way, "Jack, I'm your godfather for crying out loud! I'll be offended if you don't call me Harry!"

Jack smiled, "I guess you've got a point there. I just want you to know that I love your daughter more than words could ever express. And if I'm able to make her half as happy as she makes me than I think that's saying something. She's the best friend I've ever had." Jack looked down at Lily who again had tears in her eyes.

"I can see how much you love her, Jack. It's in your eyes," Harry said looking at the young lovers and back to Ron and Hermione who were still sitting on the couch watching the scene as if it were a movie. They all sat there talking about various things for about an hour before Lily yawned widely, making everyone laugh.

Hermione stood up after a few moments and dried her eyes for about the twelfth time, "Well I guess I should make us some dinner. I think you and Lily should go up for a nap. She looks tired and so do you. Neither of you got much real sleep last night and I know today has been a trying day on everyone. I'll send Harry up for you latter."

Lily walked over to Harry and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at her as she and Jack left the room hand in hand, "Have a good nap," he said before he sat back down with Ron. "Do you know how long it's been since I've been flying," Harry suggestively asked his friend.

"Too long I'm sure, mate. I have a broom you can use…Hermione we'll be back later," Ron called as he and Harry disappeared into the hallway to get brooms.

Jack led Lily up the stairs and they went into her bedroom this time. The room was painted a pale green and had a queen size bed in the middle of it. There was a wooden desk on one side and a large dresser on the other as well as a door leading to her bathroom. There were books everywhere. She would read anything she could get her hands on. Most of it was dark arts defense stuff, but there were all sorts of other books. She wasn't as annoying about being book smart as his mother was however. There were pictures all over the walls. Lily loved taking pictures. Most of them were pictures of her and Jack and the rest were of their friends at school and his family. He loved being in here, everything about this room reminded him of her. Last summer she went to an academic seminar at the ministry of magic and was gone for a week. It was the first time they had been apart for that long, and it nearly killed him. He would come in here late at night and sit in the armchair by her window. The room even carried her scent.

She half fell on her bed in exhaustion, "I can't believe he's alive, Jack."

"Neither can I, though I have to tell you I had a feeling he wasn't who he said he was when he told us his name yesterday," Jack said looking around the room for a blanket to cover her up with. Locating a blanket on the armchair he walked back to the bed and covered her up with it. "Warm enough?" he asked as he sat on the edge of her bed. She nodded her head and smiled sleepily. He kissed her on the forehead affectionately only pulling his head away a few inches hovering over hers.

She brought her hand up to his forehead and lightly brushed his hair back. After a few moments of gazing into her electric green eyes he could hold back no more. He slowly closed the gap between them and brought his lips to hers. Their kiss was innocent but full of love and admiration for each other. After a few seconds he pulled away and stood up.

"Sleep well, babe."

But before he could walk any further he heard her say in a low voice, "Stay with me… Please Jack…I don't want to be alone."

When he turned around to face her he saw how helpless she looked. He knew she was still thinking about last night and the worsening degree of her dreams. Looking down at her he also knew there was no way he could ever refuse her anything. Slowly he walked to the other side of the queen size bed and lay down next to her with his chest against her back, wrapping his strong arms around her exhausted body. She pulled his arm tighter around her and kissed the back of his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lil. I'll never leave you," He said as he snuggled closer to her. He thought she had fallen to sleep when she didn't respond after a few seconds so he closed his eyes suddenly realizing just how tired he really was.

"Jack," she said in almost a whisper.

"Yeah," he answered as his eyes fluttered back open.

"I love you."

"I love you too. More than you could ever imagine," Jack answered before he allowed sleep to take him at last.

a/n- This was one of my shorter chapters actually. What's coming up is pretty...well...dramatic. Perhaps if I get a good number of reviews I could be convinced to post another chapter tomorrow night...In the meantime I'll leave you with a little bit from a chapter in the not so distant future-

Seconds later the one and only Richard Luis walked in the house uninvited once more. "Jack, are your parents here?" he asked urgently.

"Yeah…why?"

"I think you'd better bring them down here. I'm afraid I have some bad news," he said with his hands deep in his pockets.

Jack walked to the bottom of the stairs and called for his parents to come down stairs. Ron and Hermione came down looking tired and confused when they saw Luis standing in their living room at such an early hour.

"You'd better have a seat," Richard said as he motioned them over to the couch...


	9. Chapter Eight: Just a Feeling

Hello everyone! Here is another chapter. For those of you who read this story when it was posted a long time ago, before HBP, you should read this chapter. There is a lot that is different about the story from this point on.

Chapter Eight: Just a Feeling

Ron and Harry were gone for a lot longer than they had anticipated, and by the time they got home the sun was beginning to drop in the distance. They entered the house from the back door to find Hermione cooking dinner in the kitchen.

"Good you're back! I thought you guys were going to stay out there forever. When you didn't come back right away I decided to make a larger dinner to make up for the fact that no one had lunch, and it's almost ready. I checked on Jack and Lily about an hour ago. They're asleep in her room, and they both looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake them up. Who knows how long its been since they got some proper rest, what with school, then all that auror stuff they do, and then Qudditch camp, and then last night," Hermione continued to ramble on while she buzzed about the kitchen putting the final touches on their meal. When she noticed Ron was no longer listening she gave him an evil eye, "Ron why don't you set the table for the five of us, and Harry go and wake up Jack and Lily."

"They sleep in the same bed?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow at Ron.

"Yes, they do on occasion. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Both of them have the maturity level of someone two or three times their age." Harry still looked unconvinced, however, so Ron continued. "He's seventeen and she will be in a matter of months. Need I remind you what you were doing at sixteen and seventeen?"

Harry raised his hand in protest, "Now that's blackmail!" He knew he had been defeated. As much as he wanted to think of Lily as the little baby she was the last time he had seen her that was simply no longer the case. She was all grown up and should be treated that way.

Both men did as they were told without any further argument. They took their brooms and put them away in the broom closet. Harry walked up the stairs to wake the love birds up for dinner, desperately hoping he wouldn't walk in on something he really didn't want to see. He knew Jack was a great guy and that he would never hurt Lily, but she was still his daughter and he worried about her.

Up in Lily's bedroom Jack woke up to the aroma of his mother's wonderful cooking. Looking around he judged by the now very small amount of light in the bedroom he decided that it must be getting late. Looked down at Lily he saw she was still soundly sleeping, looking breathtakingly beautiful.

He heard his mother talking to someone downstairs and realized she most likely had dinner ready. He tightened his arm around Lily's waist and began to trail kisses down her neck and shoulder. He felt her begin to wake up yet he didn't want to stop kissing her. He kissed his way back to her neck from her bare shoulder and found the spot where he knew she was ticklish. She smiled with her eyes still closed and wiggled a little bit.

"You'd better stop that before you start something we can't finish." She turned over onto her back with him partially on top of her now.

He looked down at her and ran his hands through her hair. "Oh really, is that so! It just so happens I was having fun," He said, as he began to nuzzle her neck once more.

She laughed at him but this time put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, "I never said it wasn't fun. Just that this type of behavior is the start of something we can't finish with you're parents awake downstairs, I don't care how cool you say they are about us."

Jack wasn't really giving her any kind of verbal reply. He kissed his way up to her mouth and was surprised when she kissed him back with equal passion. After a few minutes he pulled away and looked down at her. She was right, if they didn't stop now he wouldn't be able to. But he did make a comment on something she had said moments before.

"So you're saying we could finish this if our parents were asleep?"

She laughed and hit him over the head the pillow from the other side of the bed, "Jack Weasley!" She said getting off her bed and started looking for something on the dresser.

"What are you looking for, love?" Jack asked still in awe of her beauty even though her hair was messy and her eyes puffy from all the crying she had done earlier.

"I'm looking for something to tie my hair back with," said while walking into her bathroom and searching the drawers for a clip. "It's really annoying me right now. I think I need a hair cut."

Jack lay back down on the bed on his stomach facing Lily who was standing barefoot on the cold bathroom floor still looking for her hair clip. He propped himself up on his elbows and gave her a dreamy expression, "I love you're hair long!"

"You would," she said under her breath in a sarcastic tone.

He got up and walked behind her, "What's that supposed to mean, Potter? And choose you're words carefully for they may be your last," he said as she turned around.

She smiled at him rather seductively and walked toward him putting her arms around his waist. She stood on her toes and began to kiss his neck the same way he had kissed hers moments before. "Have I told you I love you today?" She asked continuing to kiss his neck.

Suddenly forgetting how to form words Jack took several breaths before he was able to answer her. "Yes, you have in fact."

"Hmmm…" she said reflectively as she moved her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. He pulled her closer returning her kiss. After a few moments they pulled apart rather out of breath.

"Now who's starting something?" Jack asked as she walked toward the dresser and looked for a sweater to put over her tank top. When she found a certain sweater in her drawer she threw it playfully in his face.

"This is your sweater, how did that get in with my stuff," she asked with her hands on her hips.

"I don't know, you tell me how it got there," he said throwing it back at her, "But you need a sweater because it's colder now than it was when we went to sleep so just wear that one."

She just smiled back at him and looked in the mirror as she pulled her hair back with the hair clip she finally located in the bathroom. Lily was never the type of girl who obsessed about her appearance. She seemed to have a natural beauty that he found irresistible.

There came a knock at the door and Lily told whoever it was that it was okay to enter. Harry pecked his head in the room as he opened the door and once he saw they were awake and out of bed he entered the room properly looking rather relieved. He looked at Jack because Lily had her head upside down as she tried to pin her hair up higher on her head.

"Your mother sent me up here to tell you dinner is ready."

Harry stopped talking abruptly when he saw the scars on her upper back. They were thin and white, beginning at her shoulder blades and running further than her tank top would allow him to see. Jack followed Harry's line of vision and saw what he was looking at.

"We'll be right down," She said as she straightened up and began to put Jack's sweater on over her head. Harry left the room and walked downstairs to join Hermione and Ron.

Her pony tale got caught up in fabric and prevented her from pulling it down any further. Jack couldn't help but laugh before he walked over to her and helped her pull the sweater over her head and over her hair. She had a thick head of hair and when she put it up like that it was not surprising that she had problems getting something over her head.

When her face was finally visible again Jack continued to laugh, "Good to have you back, Potter. I thought I lost ya there for a minute."

Lily put her hands on her hips and pretended to be angry, "Are you making fun of me, Weasley?"

Jack however was no longer joking around. He remembered what Harry had seen just moments before and asked her the question that had been on his mind since he left the room. "Lily, did you get those scars on your back when you were taken?"

Lily replied simply, "Yes, I got them on different occasions while I was in the prison. I have another deeper scar on my left side. It's up pretty high up though so that's why you've never seen it."  
He didn't admit to already knowing about that particular scar, but it didn't stop him from wanting to know where it came from. "What did they do to you to give you a deep scar?" Jack asked taking a step towards her and wondering if he really wanted to know the answer to the question.

"I was stabbed," she said simply, looking down at the carpet.

Jack shook his head and took a deep breath to keep his temper in check. "I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Lil. I promise that I'll do what ever I can to make sure that nothing like that is ever happens again," he said putting an arm around her and walking downstairs. When they reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the dinning room, they heard the sound of a phone ringing.

"What is that noise?" Ron asked looking around.

"Lily, that's your cell phone!" Jack said as he walked into the kitchen and retrieved the phone from where it was charging on the counter and handed it to her. Then he sat down across from Harry, "Luis gave us cell phones so that he would be able to contact us even if he was around muggles," Jack explained.

Lily flipped the phone open as she sat down next to Jack. "Potter," she answered into the mouthpiece. "Yes, Jack's right here. We are just sitting down to dinner is this important…I guess that's fine but I should ask my aunt and uncle if it's…okay we'll see you then." Lily flipped the phone closed looking irritated, "Honestly, why does the man ask me a question if he doesn't really want to care about my answer?"  
"What does he want this time?" Jack asked as he took a spoonful of potatoes.

"He's coming here tonight. He wants to talk to us…again," She said as she too took a spoonful of potatoes.

"One day I'm really going to give that man a piece of my mind. He can really be a pain in the ass at times," Jack said angrily.

"Jack, watch your language," Hermione warned.

"He's right Hermione. That man has done nothing but put Jack and Lily in harms way. He doesn't care about their safety. All he cares about is making a bust. I've heard things about him from people I know at the ministry. He's not widely known for taking much care in the people who work for him" Ron said looking at Harry.  
Just then the back door opened and the man they were all just talking about walked in uninvited. Lily turned around and looked him in the eye, "You said you'd give us time to finish eating."

"I am going to give you time to finish eating. What I have to say will not take long and can be said in the presence of everyone here," he said folding his arms across his chest, "You two are leaving tomorrow on separate short missions. Lily you and your unit need to be ready and at your checkpoint by nine and Jack you need to be at the ministry by noon."

"What about the mission with what's his name this weekend?" Jack asked knowing Luis knew what he meant. He wasn't about to say the name Malfoy because he knew his father would know exactly what they were doing.

"I've got other people on it. I need you two on these missions tomorrow. Think you're up to it, Potter?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye. He knew this would make her mad.

"I'm up for anything, Luis," she said coldly looking him dead in the eye.

"Where are we going?" Jack asked.

"I can't give you any details right now. You shouldn't be gone more than a matter of days. Lily your mission could take longer than Jack's, but by only a week at most. Be ready to be debriefed and leave at your assigned times. Good luck and have a pleasant evening," Luis said as he disappeared.

Harry was really not liking this Richard guy any, "Who does this guy think he is barging in here like that as if he rules over their lives.? They're still in school for Christ's sake!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Jack," Lily said as she stared off into space not acknowledging Harry's outburst, and looking over at her he notice that she suddenly looked nervous.

"Yeah, I do too," Jack replied placing a hand on her back. He ran his hand across her shoulder blades trying to reassure her that everything was going to be alright, but she wasn't buying it.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Hermione, but I'm not very hungry. I'm just going to go on up to bed. If we have a mission tomorrow I don't know when I'll get to sleep next," she said walking around the table to Harry and kissing him on the cheek. "Goodnight Dad."

Harry smiled at her gesture even though he was raging mad about them leaving tomorrow morning, "Goodnight sweetheart. We'll catch up on some things when you get back." Lily nodded and forced a smile before leaving the room.

"If he doesn't send us somewhere else the second we get back," Jack added under his breath once she was out of hearing range.

"Do you have any idea where they're sending you?" Harry asked leaning forward.

Jack shook his head, "I haven't the slightest idea. I don't like this idea of separate missions though. They told us when we started going on missions that we would always be together. Luis better be careful where he's sending us though, at least until Lily's of age. No one knows we've trained as aurors and no one can know about it until the time is right."

They ate the rest of their meal in reflective silence. Harry noticed Jack didn't eat very much of his dinner, he spend most of the time staring at his food and pushing it around his plate. Thirty minutes later he stood up and announced he was going to go up to bed as well. He walked over and gave his mum a peck on the cheek before leaving the room.

"You don't think Luis would deliberately put either of them in harms way, do you?" Ron asked looking at Hermione as he pushing his plate way from him and resting his elbows on the table.

"I'd like to think he has their best interests at heart, but I really don't know anymore. It wouldn't be the first time he's put them in a dangerous situation. He seems to treat them as if they're his secret weapon. But something is up because this is the first time they have sent them on separate missions. As Jack said, they've always been together before," Hermione said looking at Harry with a serious expression.

"Whatever it is, he better hope neither of them get hurt. Or else he's going to have me to answer to," Harry said with determination. He couldn't help but feel helpless, and he also couldn't reason with the knots in his stomach.

Jack made his way up the stairs slowly. He walked over to Lily's room and stood outside the door listening. He was hoping she was still awake so that he could talk to her about all this. She looked scared for the first time about a mission earlier at the table, and he wanted to make sure she was alright. When he heard no sounds from inside the room he decided she must be asleep. He turned and entered his own room leaving the lights off. Thinking that a shower would do him good he stepped into the bathroom and turned on the water to let it warm up.

After spending close to thirty minutes under the scolding hot water he stepped out of the shower and slipped on a pair of boxers. When he opened the door however he noticed a body on his bed. He immediately knew who it was. Walking over to her he sat next to her on the bed and looked down into her loving face. She was on her back looking over at the window on the opposite wall. She stared at him blankly and then offered a small smile, though he knew it wasn't sincere.

"You took forever in the shower; I thought I was going to turn grey waiting for you to get done."

"I thought you were already in bed," he said running a hand through his sopping wet hair.

"I couldn't sleep," she explained looking up at him through her bright green eyes

"Well, you've come to the right place," he said standing up and turning off the bathroom light. He then climbed in bed next to her, who had gotten underneath the covers. She cuddled up next to him and rested her head on his chest as a pillow. "Is that better," he asked with a devilish grin.

"Much," she said not looking up to see him smiling.

"Are you scared about this mission tomorrow," Jack asked after a long pause, "Tell me the truth. I saw the look on your face earlier."

"Yes," she admitted snuggling closer to him, "I've got a bad feeling about it, Jack. I don't know how to explain it but something in the back of my mind is telling me something is going to happen on this mission."

"I know what you mean," he replied caressing her back gently.

"Can you promise me something?" Lily asked again without looking at him.

"Anything love," he was almost afraid to hear what she wanted him to promise. Her voice sounded serious.

"Promise me you'll keep on going no matter what happens," she said finally turning her head to face him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means just what I said. No matter what happens while we're apart on this mission…I want you to keep on going."

"If you're saying you want me to keep living if something happens to you than I don't want to hear it," he said sitting up in bed and pushing her off him. He really didn't want to talk about this, and didn't understand why she was bringing it up. She was never one to talk about things that were this heavy.

"Jack, all I want you to do is promise me that you'll be happy," Lily said now sitting up as well.

"Lily, why are you doing this?" He asked leaning back against the headboard and crossing his arms across his chest.

"Because I know what kind of world we live in. I know the dangers and so do you. No one knows what is going to happen when we step outside that door tomorrow and it is not the time to leave things unsaid. All I want is for you to be happy," she said taking his hand in hers.

Jack looked at her in wonder for a few moments. He realized he shouldn't have thought this was such a shock coming from her. She always put everyone's happiness above her own. "Okay, I promise," he said pulling her to him and laying back down. He leaned forward off his pillow and kissed her softy on the lips, but when he went to pull away he found that he simply couldn't. Their kiss turned from one of innocence to one of deep passion.

Jack brought his hand down to her lower waist, and after a few moments he brought it up under her shirt and rubbed her bare back longingly. He rolled them over so that he was partially on top of her, and their kiss continued until he couldn't take it anymore.

"We'd better stop before I can't keep my hands off you," he said as his breath came at very uneven intervals.

She looked deep in to his eyes and before she said anything he already knew her words would be serious. "What if I told you I don't want you to stop?"

It took him a minute to realize what those words meant. "Are you sure Lil? We don't have to do this tonight…I don't want to pressure you into doing something you're not ready to do. I love you and I'll wait for as long as you need."

"I told you once I wasn't ready because at the time I was scared. Well, I'm not scared anymore and I'm ready to do this if you are," she said as she kissed his neck and her hands played with his curly hair.

He allowed her to continue for a moment before kissing her back on the lips. He broke their kiss one last time to answer her previous statement, "Okay, but I want you to tell if at any point you want me to stop or if I'm hurting you," he said in a rather uneven and raspy voice before he kissed her again.

Hours later Lily was sleeping in his arms. It was hard to believe what they had just done, yet he knew he would never forget it for the rest of his life. They truly were perfect for each other in everyway, tonight only proved that more.

He didn't sleep at all the whole night. He stared at the ceiling and spent the night thinking about the next day and all the days after that. He wondered when things had gotten so complicated. He wondered why he was holding Lily right know not knowing if he was going to see her again. He knew it was a silly thing to worry about. Their mission could be meaningless for all they knew. But something deep inside him said he had reason to worry.

Morning came far too soon. Jack had only been able to put his thoughts aside and get to sleep around day break. When the sun's light hit him square in the face he was forced however to wake up and start the day. Deciding he would take a shower before he woke Lily up, he got up out of bed being very careful not to disturb her sleeping body, and making sure to keep her covered up and warm.

After a short but refreshing shower he stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a pair of boxers and paused at the door looking at Lily who was still sound asleep. He could see her chest rise and fall despite all the blankets he had placed on top of her to keep her warm while he was in the shower. She looked completely at peace and content, more so than he had seen her in a long time. He crawled back in bed and encircled her body with his arms from behind.

"Jack…is it time to get up?" she asked turning around slightly to kiss his cheek but unable to move any further because of his grip around her waist.

"Yeah, I'm afraid so," he answered regretfully.

He raised himself up onto his elbows and looked down at her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I wish we could just stay this way forever." She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her intensely, and placing her hands behind his neck she pulled him down to her once more.

He returned her embrace equally and said in a low voice, "Careful Potter, a guy could get used to waking up and seeing your face every morning."

"You'll just have to get used to it then," she said giving him a soft kiss of the lips before hopping out of bed taking a blanket to wrap around herself. "I'm going to use your shower and by the time I'm done you'd better be out of bed and getting ready to go."

She closed the bathroom door lightly and seconds later Jack heard the shower running. She was only in there for about ten minutes before emerging wearing only a towel. "Hey Jack, do you think I could borrow a shirt so I don't have to walk back to my room in a towel?" The towel covered everything well, but it still took his breath away to see that she was not embarrassed to be around him with such a lack of clothes.

"Yeah…sure babe," he said tossing her a shirt that was on the back of his desk chair.

She caught the shirt and went over to the dresser and began looking through the book bag she had left in there from a few days ago. She had been doing some of her summer healer homework while Jack had been reading a book. This was often what they did to pass the time during the past two summers. The school year was so full of excitement that they enjoyed being able to sit and be together during the summer.

Jack walked over to her and turned her around to face him, "Good morning," he said kissing her longingly. Before he walked over to her, she had still been holding his shirt in her hand. When he kissed her however the shirt dropped to the ground and she wrapped her arms around his neck loosely.

"Good morning to you too," she said when they pulled apart. He handed her the shirt she'd dropped on the floor and she went to put it on. She emerged from the bathroom with the shirt on and the towel wrapped around her waist like a skirt.

"I like the fashion statement," he said as he fumbled through his closet trying to find his uniform. He turned around to face her with a funny concerned look on his face "Hey Lil are you alright?"

She looked puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"I mean about last night. I didn't…hurt you…or anything…did I?"

"No Jack, you didn't hurt me. And even if you did I know it wasn't on purpose. I'm glad we did this now rather than months ago or months from now. I think it was the right time for both of us," she gave him a quick kiss before going to her own room to finish getting ready.

An hour later the rest of the house was awake and downstairs, all except Lily and Jack who were still getting ready to leave. Harry and Ron were sipping coffee and reading the morning paper when the door bell rang. Hermione answered the door and led two men into the house. They were wearing auror uniforms. The men said hello to Ron and Harry before looking around for someone.

"Where's Lily?" the tallest man asked.

"She's still upstairs getting ready," Hermione said returning to the stove, "Would you like some breakfast guys?"

"No, Mrs. Weasley. But thanks anyway. We really need to get going," the man replied. He turned around and called up the stairs, "HEY POTTER, WE GOTTA GO!"

When neither of the men where around Ron said to Harry very quietly so that no one could overhear, "How many people know you're alive?"

"Just the head of the American auror department and you guys…why," Harry asked.

"Let's just keep it that way for now," Ron said turning away leaving Harry bewildered.

He heard the sound of people running down the stairs and when he stood up he saw Lily coming into the room pulling with a duffle bag over her shoulder. She walked over to him and gave him a warm hug, "I'll see you in a few days."

She then went to Hermione and Ron and said goodbye to them as well.

"I'll be fine Aunt Hermione," she said when Hermione looked at her with misty eyes.

"I know you know how to take care of yourself…its just you're so…oh never mind…Take care of yourself sweetheart and hurry home," Hermione finally said with a fake smile.

When she came to Jack, he gave her a massive hug, and lifted her up off her feet because she's so much shorter than he is. She turned to leave and walk out the door but he grabbed her arm.

"Robes," he said simply with a smile.

She looked down and realized she didn't have her auror robes on over her muggle workout clothing and started looking around. Jack reached into the hall closet and pulled out the traditional floor length black robes. She was about to leave again when he said, "Wand."

The other two male aurors just stood with their arms folded across their chests and grinning widely at the couple. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all did the same.

She patted her back pocket and noticed that it wasn't there. Jack just laughed and reached into his own back pocket retrieving her wand, "You left it upstairs. I thought you might be needing it."

She took the wand from him and put it inside her robes, "Where would I be without you?"

"Very unprepared," he said sarcastically.

She hit him in the gut playfully and hugged him again, "I'm really going to miss you, Weasley."

"Yeah me too. I have to say I've grown rather fond of you Potter," he said nearly crushing her body against his with some degree of urgency. She went to pull away but he held her to him tighter and whispered in her ear, "I love you…never forget that…no matter what. You hear me?"

He let her go and she kissed him lovingly. "I never have and I never will," she said still holding his hand as she walked toward the others. She let go once they reached the two aurors and Jack shook their hands.

"Take care of her for me, okay? She tends to loose her head and get a little hot headed when it comes to certain things," Jack said as he let go of the second man's hand.

"We'll watch out for her, Jack. Not that she needs it really. We've seen her in action, she can handle whatever this mission has got in store for us," the shorter man said looking at Lily with a smirk.

"Do you have to talk about me as if I'm not here," Lily said with her arms across her chest.

Jack laughed, "Okay love, I'll see ya in a few days."

Ron walked forward and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder for support, "Give'm hell, okay Lily!"

"Don't I always?" she replied grabbing her bag and walking out the door with the rest of her unit. She never looked back once.

Just a short while later it came time for Jack to leave as well. He'd spent much of the time since Lily had left up in his room getting his things together. He came downstairs just as he was about to leave for the ministry. He walked down the stairs to see his parents and Harry sitting in the living room. This was the part he hated. He hated seeing his mother get all upset whenever he and Lily left on a mission. He knew she was always scared to death that something was going to happen to one of them. She'd lived through a war and knew that possibility was not out of the question. He sighed deeply and set down his duffle bag to say goodbye.

"Everything is going to be fine, okay Mum? Lily and I will both be back in a few days and we'll both be fine," Jack said hugging his mother as he heard her sniffle.

"I just worry about you two. You're so young and you shouldn't be forced to deal with all this until your ready," Hermione said holding onto him tightly.

"I know. But unfortunately none of us were given much of a choice in all this. Come on Mum, don't cry! I hate to make you cry!" Jack said this in a pained voice as he rubbed her back and looked over at his father. Ron placed a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder and she backed away from Jack.

"Just be careful, okay Jack," Ron warned him as he placed an arm around Hermione who smiled sadly at their son.

"I'll try," Jack said picking up his bag and looking at his mother with a worried expression. "I can't promise you I'll get the chance to owl you. Some times they let us send letters but most of the time they don't."

"We know," Ron replied, "Come home soon."

"Okay, I will. Can you walk me out, Harry?" Jack asked nervously. Harry had the sinking suspicion that he wanted to talk about something away from his parents. The two of them walked out of the living room and out of the house. The early afternoon sunshine blazed before them and they could already tell it was going to be a warm and humid day around this part of England.

"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Harry asked once they were out the door and walking down the path.

"Yeah…Harry…I just wanted to talk to you about Lily. I know you don't know her very will yet. I really hope you two become close because she's a great woman and she deserves to have you in her life," Jack stated rubbing his brow and squinting in the intense sunlight.

"I'm really looking forward to spending a lot of time with her when you guys get back," Harry said hopefully.

"I guess I'll get right to the point…I just want to make sure that…that she's going to be taken care of something happens to me. I know it's a strange thing to ask. She's a grown woman and very independent. But I'm really asking you to do this to ease my own conscience. If something happens to me on this mission or any other…just promise me that you'll always take care of her and make sure that she's happy."

"I promise. But nothing is going to happen. Everything is going to be fine. Just like you told your mum inside," Harry reassured him and patted him on the shoulder.

"And now that we're on the subject of my parents…if something were to happen to me, I want you there when they're told. I hate leaving for these things because of the look on their faces when its time to say goodbye. Nothing is ever an easy when it comes to this stuff and they both know it. I'll feel better if I know you'll be there to help them through it."

"I will be. You just concentrate on doing this mission and coming home," Harry said giving Jack a hug and watching him walk down the path a little ways.

"Oh, and by the way, welcome home," Jack said before he disappeared with a loud POP. Harry smiled and stood there for a second before walking back inside to where he knew his friends would be waiting.

A week went by without any news from either Jack or Lily. Ron, Hermione, and Harry spent most of their time inside Ron and Hermione's house. They had decided they should stay on low profile since no one knew Harry was alive, because if they found out it may endanger one of the auror missions taking place. It unnerved Harry to no end not being able to know where Lily was and if she was alright. He passed the time getting to know Ron and Hermione's other children who were all brilliant just like their parents and older brother.

Harry was sitting in the living room, staring at the fire about a week after Jack and Lily left when Ron came into the room and sat down nervously. Ron had been at Hogwarts at a meeting with Professor McGonagall.

"I thought I would find you here," Ron said loosening his tie and leaning back in his chair.

"Couldn't think of anything better to do. I hate being cooped up in here," Harry informed him.

"I know you do, mate," Ron said looking around.

"What did McGonagall want?" Harry wondered

"She wanted to know if I thought you'd be interested in taking a job at Hogwarts next term," Ron said as if it were the most casual thing in the world.

"Are you serious?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts would be what you would teach," Ron told him.

"Does she really think I'm qualified to teach?"

Ron turned to look at him, giving him a dumb expression. "Harry, is there anyone more qualified than you to teach kids about the dark arts? She asked me to talk to you about it and to tell you to give it some though."

Harry nodded. "I'll do that, Ron. Thanks."

Ron nodded his head. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Ron looked over at his friend who was still staring at the glowing embers. "Harry, I actually came in here to talk to you about something else as well."

"What is it, Ron?" Harry turned his head to look Ron in the eye. He looked somewhat nervous or apprehensive.

"It's about Ginny," Ron told him looking away.

Harry could feel himself tense up at the mention of his former girlfriend. "What about her?" He asked trying to cover up his feelings.

"She owled us this morning. She's back in England."

"I…I take it she knows I'm alive?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Yes, my parents told her last night. She's been unreachable for over a year now. She was protecting three children in America for a long time now and she hadn't been receiving any news. The job was completed last night, and she came home to the Burrow."

"She's at the Burrow?" Harry repeated trying to stall the conversation in order to allow himself to process this new development.

"Yes," Ron reiterated. "Harry, I think you need to go there and tell her the truth about what happened between you two. I'm not exactly sure I know what happened, but I know you did what you did for a reason. I understand that things ended badly between you two, but you need to explain to her why things went down the way they did. I'll never understand why you left her when you said you loved her so much. And I'll also never be able to understand how you met and fell in love with someone else so soon after going to America. But I guess that's not really my place anyway. But she is my sister, and I think you need to tell her the truth yourself."

Harry watched his friend's facial expression and knew he was serious. He took a deep breath and let it go before answering. "I never meant to hurt her, Ron. I really didn't. It's just that I-"

Ron held up his hand in midair to stop Harry from going any further. "I'm not the one that needs to hear this. You need to go explain things to her, now. There's another reason why I brought this up now. Ginny's opening an orphanage on the grounds at Hogwarts. It's been in the works for a while, but now it's happening. So if you take the teaching job your going to see a lot of her. You guys need to talk and clear the air before the start of next term."

"Ginny's opening an orphanage?" Harry asked bewildered.

"Well, it's really the ministry's orphanage. They just asked her to run it. They felt it was about time that they open one for strictly magical children. This will be the first one in England. They wanted it in a secure location and what's a safer place the Hogwarts."

"I see," Harry managed to say.

"Just go talk to her. If for nothing else than to give you both some form of closure," Ron pleaded.

"Okay," Harry agreed with hesitation. He had first hand experience with the Weasley temper, and he was pretty sure Ginny was going to be nothing short of furious. "Are your parents home with her?"

"Yes, which is the only reason why I'm suggesting you go over there now. She won't kill you while Mum is at home!" Ron informed him while grinning almost sadly to himself.

"I…um…guess I should get going then," Harry said reluctantly. He stood up and walked down several bleachers before he stopped and turned around slowly to face Ron once more. "For what its worth, there was never a day that passed by while I was away when I didn't think about her. I hoped that she was safe and happy somewhere. I never wanted things to turn out the way they did."

"I know, Harry. But I don't think she does, though. You owe her that," Ron told him wisely.

Harry turned around and walked towards the back door. He wondered how it would feel to see her again. For all the things he'd done to her, he knew he didn't deserve to see her. But Ron was right. It was time to deal with the past and all his mistakes, starting with Ginny.

The first thing Harry observed when he entered the Burrow was the thick aroma of Mrs. Weasley's cooking. She may be getting along in years, but she never stopped trying to bring her family together through fantastic meals. It was almost like being a teenager again. Coming home to another summer at the Burrow with his friends and surrogate family.

As he proceeded through the house he was reminded of so memories from years past. The last time he was here was just after Jack was born. Had that really been seventeen years ago?

He entered the kitchen and found Mrs. Weasley standing with her back to him, chopping something up on the cutting bored. "Hello, Mrs. Weasley." Harry said in a gentle voice so he wouldn't startle her.

Molly Weasley turned around and embraced the boy she had come to love as another son. "Harry dear, I'm so happy you came to visit!"

Harry immediately felt guilty because he really hadn't come to see her in particular. "It's been too long," he said as he returned her hug.

"I expect you're here to see Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley assumed as she released Harry and wiped her hands on a rag.

Harry was once again nervous and found himself stuttering over his words. "I…well I…yes, I am here to speak with her. Is she around?"

"She's outside, dear. I have to say she took the news rather well when her father and I talked to her last night. I think she may have been in shock."

"I know this will be hard. But I really think its best that I talk to her now, rather than let this go on any longer. What all did you tell her?"

Mrs. Weasley took a deep breath and thought back. "She already knew about Lily, and they have actually met a few times before. They always seemed to get along. Ron told her about Melissa when Lily came to Hogwarts. I won't lie to you Harry. She was devastated when she found out."

Harry bowed his head in shame. "I knew she would be."

"Last night we told her that you were alive and staying with Ron and Hermione. She was amazed that you would go to such lengths to keep your daughter out of harms way, but I think she realized that she shouldn't have expected anything less of you. I think she's gotten past being anger about the way things ended."

Harry looked up at her and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I hurt her so badly."

Mrs. Weasley sighed again. "You only did what you thought you had to do. We could never ask anything more of you then that. You'd better go talk to her."

"I'll try to have her back up here in time for dinner," Harry said before turning and leaving the house.

He found the Weasley backyard basking in the sunshine like it always was this time of year. He saw a hammock stretched out between two closely growing trees. On top of the hammock, he saw a familiar redheaded woman. He took a shuddering breath and walked towards her. When he was a few feet from her, he stopped and tried to collect his thoughts before he let her know he was there. What could he possibly say to make this right again? It was then that he realized that it wasn't about making it right. It was just about trying to own up to a mistake he made a long time ago, a mistake that altered both their lives forever.

"Ginny"

The redhead on the hammock took a few seconds before she turned around to face him. She knew who it was by the sound and tone of his voice. As their eyes slowly met, she eased off the hammock and stood in front of him.

Harry half expected her to punch him in the face,Lord knows, he knew he deserved it. But for some reason there was something in her eyes that assured him that she wasn't really angry. She was only sad.

Seconds later Ginny did something that surprised them both. She took a quick step towards him and crushed her body against his in an almost desperate embrace. Harry was stunned for a second, but recovered quite nicely as he wrapped his arms around her. Suddenly, it was like no time had passed at all. He was a teenager again, and content to be in the arms of the woman he loved.

"Ginny…I missed you so much!" Harry managed to say as they continued to suspend time and hold onto each other for dear life.

"Harry," Ginny whispered into his ear. It almost sounded like a prayer.

He slowly pulled away from her, but continued to hold her at an arms length. Her hair was shorter than it had been and she looked more mature. He smiled at her as be began to recognize all the little things about her that he didn't realize he had forgotten. "Here, let me look at you. God, you're just as beautiful as the day I saw you last!"  
"Oh, I don't think so," Ginny replied as her cheeks flushed a modest red.

"Gin, you don't know how good it is to see you again," Harry told her sincerely.

"Do you want to sit with me?" Ginny asked sensing the approaching awkward silence.

"Sure," he told her as they took a seat on the hammock. They sat there for a few seconds, both of them waiting to see if the other would speak up first. Harry came to the conclusion that he should be the one to test the waters, seeing as how he had created this mess.

He whipped his sweaty palms on his jeans and began speaking rather nervously. "I…um…I bet you have a lot of questions for me, Gin. Go ahead, ask me anything you want. I promise to answer as best I can."

Ginny let go of a shallow breath and looked him in the eye. "I was completely blown away when my parents told me you were alive last night. I didn't really know how to feel about it. I mean I'm thrilled that you didn't die like we all thought you had, but…er…this was so much easier to understand in my head." Ginny massaged her temple with her hand and looked over at him nervously.

"It's okay, Gin. I get it. I was so surprised by the way you reacted when I walked up. I was expecting you to hex me or something," Harry said truthfully. He waited for Ginny to say something or ask him a question. When she continued to say nothing, he spoke up again. "Maybe we should start with why I left?"

"Why did you leave?" Ginny asked in almost a whisper.

Harry launched right into his story. "I thought I was protecting you and your family. Ron and Hermione had just gotten married. You were just out of school. The war was finally over and all of you deserved some peace. Things seemed to be going great for you guys after so much suffering during the war, while I had threats following me wherever I went. Honestly, I could barely go into Hogsmade without someone making some kind of passing threat or comment. I just didn't want to bring you all into that. Not after all you had already been through." Harry found this hard to explain now that he knew what he had done was wrong. He should have stayed home with the people that loved him. But if he had done that, then there would have been no Lily, or Melissa.

"Harry, all we wanted to do was love you," Ginny said with tears welling in her eyes.

"Loving me was dangerous, for all of you," Harry dejectedly replied.

She looked over at him. "And don't you think you were worth the risk?"

Harry didn't even hesitate before answering. "No, at the time I didn't."

"You hurt us so much when you left. I don't think you realize just how much you meant to everyone."

"Gin, I could say I'm sorry to all of you a million times, but it would never make up for the things I did. I can't really say I would change it if I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now, especially with Lily. But I do regret the pain I caused everyone." Harry had to look away from the years of heartache he saw shining in her eyes.

Ginny kept her eyes on Harry long after he looked away. She squared her shoulders and asked the question that had been on her mind for years. "Did you love her?"

Harry slowly turned to face her. "Yes, I did." He knew who she was talking about without further clarification.  
"Why was it okay to love her, and not me?" Ginny's eyes glazed over and Harry had to look away, yet again.

"Ginny, I would have never been able to face your family again if something had happened to you because of me."

She shook her head. "They never would have blamed you-"

Harry held up his hand to stop her. "I know they never would have said so out loud. How was I supposed to look into the eyes of the only woman I have ever thought of as a mother, knowing that I caused the death of her only daughter?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Harry-"

Harry stopped her again. "Gin, look at you! You're safe because I pushed you out of my life."

"I'm miserable because you pushed me out of your life," she said with a level voice.

"So am I," Harry replied in a low whisper, almost to himself more than her.

"Harry, you don't know what would have happened if we had stayed together. I just don't understand why you turned to someone else." Ginny shook her head in a vain attempt to understand what had gone wrong between them.

"I was not looking for someone to replace you in my heart, Gin. That would have been impossible. I was simply looking for someone to help me forget about you, so it wouldn't hurt so much. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I was looking for a distraction. Melissa was there when I needed her to be that someone. She had no family. She lost her parents at a younger age than I did. Most of her friends had died during the war. She had no one."

Ginny's eyes were growing angry beneath her tears. "So you felt sorry for her! Is that it?"

Harry stood up from the hammock and ran his palm through his hair in frustration. "Ginny, don't you understand! I used her! I used her because I needed someone to help me forget about you, and it killed her! I'm the reason she's dead! I killed her! I'm the reason my daughter doesn't have a mother!" Harry stopped pacing and fell to the ground in a heap. He realized that he'd never voiced his feelings about Melissa's death to anyone, until now.

Ginny watched Harry put his face in his hands and though she could not see the tears fall from his eyes, she saw the fall into the dirt below him. She got up and walked over to him. Sitting down next to him, she placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to offer him some kind of comfort.

"I didn't deserve Melissa, and I didn't deserve you either," he said stubbornly.

"Harry, she was killed by death eaters. You did nothing that caused her death."

"It's who I am that caused her death. If she hadn't loved me as much as she did, then she would still be alive."

"And you wouldn't have that wonderful daughter who's hopefully going to marry my dashing nephew," Ginny pointed out.

"Lily's suffered as well because of who she is. I don't know how she can even look at me after all the pain I've caused her. I was the one who left her to grow up in that orphanage. I'm the reason why she was kidnapped and tortured and-" Harry continued to ramble in his head, though he didn't have the strength to speak out loud.

"Harry, you only did what you thought was right at the time. Has Lily expressed any anger towards you because what you did?"

Harry didn't answer her right away. He looked down at the ground and took several breaths. "No, she hasn't."

"You're her father, and she loves you. Can't we just put the past behind us and move on with the rest of our lives?"

Harry turned to face her. "You've changed so much. I thought you were going to kill me when I came here to talk to you about all this."

"I've had a lot of time to think about all the stuff that happened back then, Harry. I've thought about it and come to the conclusion that I don't what to think about it anymore. Can you do that? Can we be friends?"

Harry looked at her in amazement for a second or two. "I'd love that."  
"So would I."

Harry and Ginny spent much of the next few days talking at the burrow and exchanging letters when he was at Ron and Hermione's. They had no where near fixed things, but it was a least a start. Harry was glad that Ron made him face her at last.

Jack ended up coming home two weeks after they had left. He showed up very early one morning unannounced and nearly scared Harry to death when he appeared in the living room before everyone else was awake.

"Hi Harry," Jack said brightly.

Harry jumped up with his wand pointed at his godson, who held his hands up in surrender. Harry laughed to himself at his overreaction. "Sorry about that Jack. But you scared me half to death! How was your mission? Where you guys successful?"

"I guess so. It seemed rather pointless actually," Jack said sitting down on the couch and rubbing his knees, "Where is everybody?"

"Nobody's awake yet, and Lily still hasn't come back yet," Harry added.

He looked very surprised to hear this news. "What…I thought for sure they would have been back before us because we took so long. That's weird."

Just then Hermione and everyone else came down the stairs, most likely having heard Harry's scream when Jack apparated into the room. The rest of that day was spent with Hermione fussing over her son and how tired he looked. Later that night Jack went up to bed, but before he entered his bedroom he saw Lily's light on and walked in to find Harry standing there looking around with his hands deep in his pockets.

"Hey Harry," he said coming into the room and sitting down in the familiar armchair by the window. "I don't know how many hours Lily and my brothers and I have spent in here over the years playing games or doing summer homework."

Harry nodded and looked around the room. The walls were painted pale green. A trunk bearing the Hogwarts and Gryffindor crests was sitting at the base of the queen size bed. She had a large shelf of books and a desk that still had some open school books on it. He picked up one of the books and recognized it as one issued during auror training.

He put the book down and took a cleansing breath, "Where do you think she is Jack?" he asked abruptly.

Jack sat in the arm chair with his elbows on his knees staring at the ground. He shook his head, "To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I wish I knew. I wish I could sense her like I usually can, but for some reason I can't. She might be too far away," Jack said now sounding worried himself. "But, wherever she is I hope she comes home soon."

"I do too," Harry said before leaving Jack to sit up in Lily's room alone.

a/n- Just want to warn you, it may be a few days until I post another chapter. Tuesday night at the lastest. I have to work on the next few chapters a little before I post them. As always, please tell me what you think of the story so far. It may make me update faster...wink wink


	10. Chapter Nine: How to Grieve

a/n- Okay, sorry about the wait. Here is the next chapter. All I have to say is after you read this, please don't kill me!

Chapter Nine: How to Grieve

_"I'm so glad you came, Harry," Hermione said looking over at her best friend from her hospital bed._

_"What and miss the birth of my godson…not on your life!" Harry told her as he looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms. _

_"Tell us about America. What's it like there?" Ron asked from his place beside his wife's bed. _

_"America is alright I guess. Things are pretty busy pretty much all the time. But I hope that things will settle down sometime soon," Harry answered somewhat uncomfortably. _

_"We miss you when you're not around, mate. The last time you were home was just after we found out Hermione was pregnant. Don't you miss it?" _

_Harry looked at them both as if they were completely crazy. "What do you mean, do I miss it! Oh course I miss it! I so much sometimes it physically hurts to think about all of you back here having a good time without me." He looked back at his godson in his arms, afraid he had said too much. _

_"You're doing this to yourself you know," Hermione said regrettably. "You could be here with us all the time if you just came home to the people who love you. We'd like nothing better than to see you back in England where you belong."_

_"One day, 'Mione…one day we'll all be together again," Harry said quietly with a hint of sadness. _

A much older and wiser Harry Potter woke from the dream he had been having with a start. He'd started having dreams about the past more since he came back to England, a fact which in some ways made him angry. There were many parts of his life he wished not to relive.

Deciding that he would not be getting anymore sleep, Harry got up and walked down the stairs into the living room only to find Jack asleep on the couch in the living room. There were some documents on the coffee table and Harry figured he must have fallen asleep working on them late last night. Harry walked over to him and gently shook him until he woke up.

"Why don't you go upstairs and sleep. Everyone is going to be getting up and you'll probably feel better in your own bed."

"I guess I just felt better sleeping down here last night," he replied. He didn't want to tell Harry the truth about why he didn't want to sleep in his own bed. He missed Lily so much and that was the last place they had been together before she left.

Seconds later the one and only Richard Luis walked in the house uninvited once more. "Jack, are your parents here?" he asked urgently.

"Yeah…why?"

"I think you'd better bring them down here. I'm afraid I have some bad news," he said with his hands deep in his pockets.

Jack walked to the bottom of the stairs and called for his parents to come down stairs. Ron and Hermione came down looking tired and confused when they saw Luis standing in their living room at such an early hour.

"You'd better have a seat," Richard said as he motioned them over to the couch. When he saw all four of them seated, waiting anxiously to hear what he had to say, he took a long breath and began, "Lily's unit was sent to a secluded part of Nigeria. About 24 hours after they arrived their camp was ambushed by death eaters. There were just too many of them for the unit to have any chance of escape. None of their team members made it out alive. I'm sorry to have to inform you, but Lily was pronounced dead along with the others when we finally found their bodies last night."

Harry felt like he was having an out of body experience. He was completely numb, and the voices of those around him sounded as if they were coming through a long tunnel. He looked around the room in disbelief. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be. Not Lily. Not _his_ Lily.

"She will be given an honorable funeral as soon as her body is released. She died bravely and doing what she loved. Again I am terrible sorry for your loss," Richard said looking down.

Jack was in a rage, "Your sorry…THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT TO SAY IS THAT YOU'RE BLOODY SORRY. WELL I'M ARFAID SORRY IS JUST NOT GOING TO CUT IT THIS TIME. YOU SENT HER ON THAT MISSION, AND I HAVE A FEELING YOU KNEW THINGS WERE NOT SAFE FOR THEM TO BE GOING IN THE FIRST PLACE. I CAN SEE INTO YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW AND ALL I SEE IS GUILT. YOU AS GOOD AS KILLED HER AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED!" With that he stormed out of the house and into the back yard.

Hermione collapsed into the arms of her husband overcome with grief. Ron just sat there like a deer in headlights. This was so hard to understand. How could someone so full of life be dead? All Harry could do was sit there a stare straight ahead. He didn't cry. He didn't scream. He didn't do anything. He just sat there and thought about all the things he was never going to be able to tell her. All the things he should have told her when he had the chance.

Richard went outside and returned several minutes later with Jack tagging along behind him who still looked angrier than all hell. "I'm afraid I'll have to take Jack with me for a little while. I need him to identify the body."

Ron stepped forward handing a sobbing Hermione off to his son Andrew who had entered the room only moments before and was looking very confused, "You can't ask him to do that. I'll go if you need someone to identify the body. He'll remember seeing her like that for the rest of his life if you force him to identify the body. Let him remember her the way she was in live!"

Luis placed a hand on Jack's shoulder, "Unfortunately you can't identify her body legally Ron. You're not her father or even a family member."

"Well, neither is Jack," Ron countered.

"No, he isn't technically speaking. Lily has no family, she's an orphan. But in the eyes of the ministry and the auror department Jack is the closest thing to family Lily ever had. And he was after all Lily's partner, auror partner that is. The partner identifies the body in instances where there is no family, and unfortunately that is the case here. Its department protocol," Luis said looking over at Jack to hear his say in this, "I'm sorry about this Jack, but my hands are tied."

"It's okay Dad. I'll be fine," Jack said with no emotion whatsoever.

Somehow several moments later Jack found himself walking down a long corridor. He wasn't quite sure how he got where he was, but none of that really seemed to matter. He followed Luis as if he was in a trance. Luis led him through the hallway and to the final room on the left hand side. He opened the door and stepped aside to allow Jack to pass in front of him. In the room was a single bed with what appeared to have a body laying on it. A white cotton sheet was pulled up over the body's face to hide its image.

"Once again Jack I am truly sorry about what happened," Luis said with perhaps too much force.

"Save your apologies, Luis. They aren't going to comfort me …Let's just get this over with," Jack said crossing his arms across his chest and looking down at the body bracing himself for what was to come.

Luis stepped forward and pulled back the sheet enough to reveal the beautiful face of the only girl Jack had ever loved. Jack knew at once how the face belonged to. The black curly hair, small mouth, long eyelashes, he knew they belonged to Lily.

"Is this Lily Elizabeth Potter," Luis asked after allowing him a few seconds to study her face.

"Yes," Jack managed to croak.

"I'll need you to sign her death certificate, stating that you viewed the body and that it is indeed that of Lily Potter. I'll be waiting outside. You may take all the time you need to say goodbye," Luis said as he left the room closing the door behind him.

Jack walked closer to the body and pulled the sheet back a little more. Luis' words ran in his head "You may take all the time you need to say goodbye." How was he ever going to say goodbye? He knew he never would, so there was no need to even try.

She was still wearing the last thing he had seen her in. This was strange because aurors usually changed out of their uniforms after they began a mission. He picked up her hand and noticed was how cold it was. Taking a seat in the stool next to the bed he lowered his elbows to the edge of the bed and looked down at her.

The last night and morning they sent together came flooding back to his mind. If he had known it would be the last time he saw her alive, he would have thought of something better to say. Life was full of so many regrets, but the two of them had never had any regrets that came into direct conflict with their relationship, until now. It's funny how things turn out in the end.

Jack returned to the house very late that night. He seemed to have spent hours walking around downtown London, losing track of time. When he came home, he found his parents sitting on the sofa, sipping tea with blank expressions. Harry was sitting by the chair, staring out the window. When they heard Jack enter the room, they all looked up at him expectantly. In their eyes they all seemed to convey hope through their intense gazes. Hope that he would tell them that this was all just a terrible mistake, and that Lily was really alive and well. For a few seconds, all Jack could do was shake his head. Once he decided his voice could be trusted not to break, he looked Harry in the eye and spoke of the first time.

"I'm so sorry, Harry."

"It was her body, wasn't it?" Harry asked, almost needing to hear an answer beyond Jack's implications.

Jack nodded his head yes and slowly sat down on the sofa opposite his parents. "I don't even know what to say to you," he said hopelessly looking down at the carpet.

"You don't have to say anything, Jack." Harry said, not even bothering to blink back his tears.

"I never should have let her go out there on her own," Jack said putting his face in his hands.

"There was no way you could have known that…that…this could happen," Harry tried to console.

"Still…I should never have taken the chance," Jack said miserably.

Hermione rushed to her son's side and wrapped her arms around him. "This is not you're fault! Lily wouldn't want you to do this. Everything is going to be alright, Jack."

Jack gently shrugged his mother off of him and shifted away from her. "No mum, nothing is ever going to be alright ever again." With that, Jack stood up and walked hastily out the door from whence he just came a few minutes before. He didn't know where he was going; all he knew is that he couldn't stay where he was.

The next few days passed by in a whirlwind of tears and grief. Death is a hard pill to swallow, and in this instance it was also especially difficult to understand. The night they found out Lily was dead; Harry locked himself in his room and didn't come out for three days and three nights.

Jack didn't return for a day and a half after he walked out on his parents and Harry in the living room. When he was finally home, he was distant and cold to everyone around him. No one could ever understand the pain he felt, because no one had really known Lily Potter the way he had. He was the only person she had ever truly opened up to, and now she was gone leaving him empty and alone.

A funeral was set to take place at Hogwarts two weeks after Luis visit. There were constant delays in the process of getting Lily's body from the auror department. They withheld the body to conduct an investigation.

Unable to sleep about a week after the announcement of Lily's death, Ron came downstairs to find Harry sitting by the fire looking at some old pictures of Lily in photo albums. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder as he walked passed and walked to sit in the chair across from him.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Harry asked looking at him.

"No," Ron answered slouching back in the chair.

"Where was this picture taken?" Harry asked pointing to a picture on the last page of the particular album he was looking at. It was a shot taken from far way at sunset. In the picture were two people standing with their arms around each other. They were standing next to a large tree and what looked like a gravestone.

"Oh…That was taken the day their friend Allan was buried. Hermione took it. I thought it was rather strange to take a picture at a moment like that, but she said they may want to look back on that day, and remember how much Allan meant to them," Ron said after looking at the picture briefly.

"And this one…where was it taken," Harry pointed this time to the picture right below it. It was of Jack and Lily dancing together at what looked like a wedding reception.

"Oh, that was taken just before they left for Qudditch camp this summer, just before you showed up at our door. That was at Bill's son's wedding."

"She is so beautiful," Harry said under his breath still refusing to refer to her in the past tense. He watched as Jack twirled her around the dance floor in the picture. "They looked so happy."

Ron took the album from him and looked at the picture smiling to himself. "They were always happy. No matter what was going on around them they always found reasons to smile, especially Lily. I remember this one time they were on this mission in the south of France. It must have taken place over Easter holiday because the battle at Hogwarts took place right after the holiday was over. The mission went to hell and they had to get out really fast. They flooed back here as soon as they found a fireplace they could use. Hermione and I were sitting in the here minding our own business when all of a sudden half a dozen bodies came flying out of our fireplace! They were all standing there with their hands on their knees trying to get their breath back. Lily stood up straight and said 'Well that could have been worse!' The entire unit fell to the ground laughing. She always wanted to lighten the mood," Ron concluded laughing to himself at the memory.

Harry smiled for a few seconds as he looked through some more pictures in a different album. He came to a picture of Lily standing by herself by the lake at Hogwarts. She looked so blissful watching the wind gently blow the waters surface creating gentle waves.

Unable to look at any more pictures he set the album aside and put his face in his hands. Ron spoke from his chair in a soft and comforting tone, "Nothing I say is ever going to take away the pain you're feeling. I know you think I can't understand what you're going through because I've never lost a child. But I want you to know that for nearly seven years Lily has been like a daughter to me. Hermione and I loved her as if she was our own child, and we are mourning her death as if she was our child as well."

"I know how much you all loved her, Ron. I am eternally grateful to you for all the things you gave her. I'm just upset that I never got to see her grow up," Harry said regretfully.

"She was so much like you. Every once in a while she would say something or do something and all I could think of was how much she reminded me of you. She had your spirit and your love for helping people."

He gave no verbal reply to Ron's statement, he simply nodded his head and they sat in silence for several minutes. He soon caught Ron glancing up at the ceiling and realized who he was thinking about. "You're worried about Jack aren't you?"

Ron nodded, "Yeah, I don't know what to say to him about all of this. I really don't know what he's going through. Lily was his best friend and he loved her so much. How is he ever going to get past this? I'm not even sure it's possible for him to get past this, and that's what scares me."

"They went through a lot together didn't they," Harry stated.

"They sure did. There is not a single one of his memories that have taken place over the last six years that doesn't involve her. Not only is he mourning the loss of the woman he loved, but he is mourning the loss of his best friend. That, however, is something I can relate to," Ron added rather softly.

Harry took the hint, "I'm sorry if what I did hurt you and Hermione. I only did what I thought was best for everyone. I want you to know there wasn't a day that I didn't think about you two. I never forgot all the things you guys did for me, and all the things you helped me with."

"You only did what you had to do Harry. I can't blame you for that," Ron said regretfully.

"I'm still sorry things had to turn out the way they did and I'll try and talk to Jack. Losing someone you love, the way that Jack loved Lily, is something I'm very familiar with," Harry stated under his breath.

Ron decided he better go back up to bed before Hermione noticed he was missing, and left Harry sitting by the fire. He glanced back at his friend sitting alone staring out into space and realized he had never seen him look so defeated.

On early afternoon, Harry was up in his room, sitting at his desk pretending to read the paper when he heard a knock at his door. Thinking that it was probably Hermione coming to tell him that lunch was ready, Harry just mumbled that it was okay to come in.

"Harry," said an uncertain female voice from the doorway.

He looked up from his paper and into the eyes of a very concerned Ginny Weasley. He just looked at her for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. He hadn't seen her sine before they found out about Lily.

"Hey Gin, come on in," he said finally much to her relief. Ginny entered the room with extreme caution. Harry motioned for her to take a seat across from him on the bed. "How are you, Gin?" He asked once she took a seat.

She gave him a funny look at his question. "I feel like I should be asking you that," she said looking down at her hands. Neither of them said anything for several minutes. They simply sat in silence, Ginny trying to understand what Harry was going through and Harry trying to keep his grief from getting the better of him.

"What are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?" Harry wondered, looking up at her.

"Ron asked me to come and stay for a while. He's worried about Jack and Hermione and the other boys. But frankly he's worried about you as well. He says you've been hiding in here all the time," Ginny said with a small smile in hopes that this would lighten the mood.

"It's probably good that you're here," Harry said looking down at his hands in his lap once more. "They need you."

Ginny seemed to be deciding on what she was going to say next for a few seconds before she finally made up her mind. "Do you need me, Harry?"

Harry looked up into her hopeful eyes and for a second almost got lost in them. "I don't deserve to need you, Gin."

She slid down from the bed and knelt in front of him. She took his hands in hers and squeezed gently. "Harry…let me help you…please."

Harry looked down at her and into her eyes, searching for some kind of answer. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked somewhat confused.

"What am I supposed to do? Where do I go? Lily was all I had left…"

"That's not true!" Ginny said quickly. "You need to stay here. Stay with the Ron and Hermione and they're family who all love you. Stay here with me…I love you."

"Why?" He asked in barley a whisper.

"Why, what?"

"How can you love me after all I've done to you? I don't deserve you, Ginny." Harry stood up and walked over to the window.

Ginny got up from the floor and followed him to the window where she turned him around to face him and held him by the shoulders. "Do you still love me?" She asked huskily.

"I've always loved you. I always will," Harry said only meeting her eye until the words were out of his mouth. After that he returned his gaze to the window.

"Why do I have to have a reason for loving you? Can't you just let me help you?" She asked finally with an even voice.

Harry took a minute to consider some things before he reached forward and pulled Ginny to him with all the strength he had left. "I do need you, Gin. I need you more now then I've ever needed anyone in my entire life."

"I'm here, Harry. I'm not going anywhere," she answered as she returned his embrace.

Something had changed between them that night. Something neither of them would ever be able to put into words. Suddenly nothing that past mattered. Now, there was only the present. There was only grief and belongingness.

The night before the funeral Harry found Jack in Lily's room sitting on her bed, and looking through a photo album. Looking at Jack just then, he thought for a second that he detected a smile on his face. Though the smile was a very sad looking smile, it was still a start and it gave Harry some hope of getting through to Jack and seeing if he was alright. He contemplated leaving him alone or wondered if he should try and talk to him. Harry walked into the room deciding to take his chances.

"What are you looking at?" Harry asked warily.

"Just some pictures of Lily and me," he said as he turned the page.

"What is your family's fascination with pictures? You guys must have taken hundreds over the years," he asked trying to get him out of his shell using a little bit of humor.

"I don't know really. I think we get it from Mum. She's always got a camera in her hand taking a picture of one thing or another," Jack answered sounding very uninteresting in saying anything more. "I think she wanted to show you what you'd missed over the years when you finally came back."

"Can I see them," Harry asked hoping to break into the mental bubble Jack had put up around himself.

"Sure," he said handing him the album and looking around the room.

Harry flipped through the pages of the album, cherishing every page and every photo. He had never seen these pictures before. All of them were of Lily and Jack together. Looking over to Jack he noticed the look on his face and remembered how he felt after Melissa had been killed. He asked the question he knew would either make Jack angry or make him talk.

"You really loved her didn't you?"

Jack nodded his head solemnly. "She was the only thing in my life that really mattered. It didn't matter how bad things got. As long as I knew she'd be there to help me through it, than I was okay. I could deal with anything. She may have been my girlfriend, but I could always talk to her like she was my best friend," Jack answered looking Harry in the eye for the first time since he came into the room. Harry could tell by the redness in his eyes that Jack had spent most of the last few days doing the same thing he been doing.

"I remember the day Melissa told me she was pregnant with Lily. She was so happy and I was scared to death," Harry admitted.

"Why were you scared?" Jack asked finally seeming interested.

"I was scared of not being a good enough father. I never had my parents while I was growing up and I didn't know how to be one really. But then I held her in my arms for the first time and all those fears seemed to melt away. I knew then that I would die to keep her safe. I guess my initial predictions about my parenting skills were correct because she died all the same in the end," Harry said mournfully. He hadn't meant to come in here and say such things, they just seemed to happen.

Jack glanced over at Harry who was now looking at the album again. He paused and then responded, "I think you're just about the best father this world has to offer. You gave up your daughter in hopes that she would be able to live and have real childhood. I know I'll always be grateful for what you did. If you hadn't left her then she may have been killed as a baby like you originally thought. Then I would never have had the opportunity to know her, and I do consider knowing her to be a distinct honor, Harry. She was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Harry had tears in his eyes just listening to the things Jack had said. He tried to find his voice but Jack beat him to it. "I'm sorry you never really got to know her Harry. And I'm sorry you had to see her go through all those terrible things in the end. That's not the person she was. She was just under a lot of stress. She was the must fun-loving person I've ever known, and it's too bad you didn't get to see that side of her."

"I feel like I knew her," Harry said honestly.

"Did you know we talked about getting married next summer after school was over?"

Harry smiled sadly, "Really?"

"Yeah, she said she wanted to get married and settle down. That's why she did all that healer training last year. She said she didn't want to keep on being an auror after we had kids of our own. She wanted to be able to be close to them, and see them grow up."

"I want you to know that I would have been proud to have you marry my daughter," Harry said placing a hand on Jack's shoulder.

Jack looked as if he was about to smile for a second but he simply looked down into his lap, "I guess that really doesn't matter now anyway," he looked over to the nightstand where a picture of him and Lily sat next to a lamp. They were smiling with their arms around each other, without a care in the world. He returned his attention back to their conversation and said somberly, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect her."

"That wasn't your job, Jack," Harry tried to reassure him.

"Yes, it was. It was my job to protect her because I loved her more than anything. I'm sorry," he repeated as he got up and left the room.

The day of the funeral was ironically warm and bright. The late summer's sunshine warmed the air and the grass moved gently in the soft wind. School would be starting at Hogwarts in a matter of weeks. But on this day, school was the last thing on everyone's minds. The Great Hall at Hogwarts was packed with mourners who had come to pay their last respects, most of them students or members of the auror department. The house tables had once again been removed and were replaced with rows of seats. Ron and Hermione sat along with Harry, Ginny, and Jack in the front row. The rest of their children were sitting with Ron's parents and brothers in the row behind them along with Jack and Lily's friends, two of which would be speaking today.

Harry was disguised so that no one would know who he was. He wasn't quite ready for people to know he was alive. Jack and Ginny both sat at his side. He sat there in silence, clutching Ginny's hand as if she was the only thing keeping him together. And she probably was.

Several people stood up and gave speeches in honor of Lily. Harry was astonished how much her death had affected the magical community. He had no idea how many people she had touched in her short lifetime. The thought that all these people loved his daughter so much, eased his pain slightly, but he knew nothing could ever take it away completely. The first person to speak was Brad Garland, who had been a friend of Jack and Lily's since they started school.

"I had the privilege of meeting Lily the morning following our first night as Hogwarts students. Over the next few years, she and I became good friends and shared in both great sadness and extreme bliss. All the hours we spent playing Qudditch with Dylan and Jack and his brothers. All those nights she'd stay up into the early hours of the morning to help me with my homework. All the times I would go to her when I just needed someone to hear me out. She always knew the right time to offer advice, and the right time to just listen and nothing. I've never had a better friend, and now that she's gone, the raw pain of her absence is almost too much to bear. I always knew no matter what mess I got myself into, Lily would be there to help me through it. Two years ago, my brother was killed, also working of the auror department. I remember standing by his casket after the ceremony. I turned around and Lily was still sitting in the second pew, waiting to see if I was alright. She walked over to me and told me everything was going to be alright somehow in the end. That all things happen for a reason, and we can't question destiny. All we can do is carry on and honor those we loved by living everyday of our lives to the fullest extent. I just want Lily to know that I was listening that day. I remember everything she said and those words got me through the toughest time of my life. Thank you so much, Lil. None of us will ever forget you, and we will continue to honor your life and memory with every breath we take. Thank you."

Brad made his way down from the podium and off the stage. He walked up to where Jack was sitting and shook his hand. Jack just nodded and continued to stare at the ground long after Brad returned to his seat in the first row across the isle.

The next person to speak was Dylan Jacobs, who was also a longtime friend of both Lily and Jack. Brad and him where sitting together and before Brad sat down, Dylan stood up and patted his friend on the back. Brad allowed Dylan to pass him by and walk to the stage. Brad sat next to a girl Harry did not recognize and wrapped his arm around her as she sobbed openly into his shoulder. In these minutes of transition between speakers, Harry thought the entire audience was crying in unison. He had never seen a sadder sight in his life.

"I was once told that those you love never truly leave you. That they linger around whenever you need them and comfort you in ways you cannot understand. If this is true than I know Lily has never left any of us. She is here right now; patting us on the back, giving us a warm hug, and telling us that it's okay to grieve. We are no longer able to hear her voice or feel her touch, but I know she's here. She would not want us to harbor our feelings of sorrow, but I also know she would tell us not to waste our lives away in mourning. As Brad said before, we must go on with our lives and live them to the fullest extent. We must continue living for those of us who can't. So, today we will grieve the loss of someone so much better than ourselves. But tomorrow we will get up and continue living, always with Lily in the back of our minds. Carry her with you in all the things you do and all the places you go. We can all take comfort in the fact that we were in the presence of complete perfection, even if it was only for a little while."

Dylan paused in his speech for a few moments, trying to regain his composure so he didn't loose it all together. He looked around the room at his classmates and their families before his eyes fell on Jack sitting in the front row with is family. He took a deep breath and continued with what he had to say.

"I would like to address one person in particular at this time, and that person is Jack Weasley. I have never in my life seen a person love anyone as much as Lily loved you, Jack. Her face would light up whenever you entered the room. I can stand here and honestly say, no one ever made her as happy as you did. Jack, you're one of my best friends and watching you go through this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't know what to say to you to make you feel any better about the loss you've just suffered. All I can say is remember Lily as she was in life, and not how she died. Remember how much you loved her. Remember all the memories you shared, for they are what will get you through this difficult time. I do not know what its like to loose someone you were in love with, because I've never been in love. I'm not even going to guess what you must be feeling. I just want you to know that we're here for you, mate. We'll always be right here."

Dylan finished his speech and placed the paper he had written it on in his pocket. He walked around the podium and took his seat next to Brad once more. A person from the back of the hall made their way to the front as the next speaker. The only sounds were of the man's shoes clicking against the floor of the Great Hall full of mourners. As the man passed Harry, he saw who it was. It was Richard Luis. He felt Jack tense up next to him. He looked over and saw the furry that had replaced the sadness in his eyes.

"As many of you know, my name is Richard Luis and I am head of the auror department. I met Lily last summer when she and Jack began working with us. She was a fine individual and clearly she will be missed by those who loved her. Some of you will know that when people enter auror training they are told to write letters addressed to their families in case something like this should happen. Being an auror means taking risks and things like this happen, often leaving families to mourn the death of their loved ones suddenly and without warning. This is why we have them write letters which are read at their funerals in hopes that they bring some kind of consolation to those they leave behind. It is a hard thing for each of us to write. These letters are updated every few months. Jack and Lily updated theirs at the end of last term. I would like to read Lily's letter now."

Luis took a deep breath and began reading, "To those I love: Death is something I am all too familiar with. Having lost both my parents before I had the opportunity to know them was hard enough. Losing Allan weeks ago was all together different. I'll never understand why things happen the way they do, but I guess that's not really my place anyway. I know I have lived my life to the fullest extent and I have no regrets about the decisions I have made. I know what writing this letter means, and though it's a grim thought I take comfort in the fact that it may bring comfort to those who read it. I want you all to know that my life, though difficult at times, has been a wonderful experience. Some people live their entire lives and never really understand the meaning of love. I am not one of those people. I have loved to the very depths of my soul, and I am a better person because of it. Now I want to take the opportunity to address several people in my life who have aided in creating the person writing this letter."

Luis glanced up from the letter and found Ron and Hermione in the front row. He continued reading the next part of the letter. "To Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron. It does not seem like I've only known you for six short years. In that time you've taught me so many wonderful lessons about life and love. No words can express the happiness you both have brought to my life. You were my parents when I needed you most. You are the only link I have with the father I have never known. I thank you for allowing me to get to know him through you and you're experiences and memories of him. But if you are hearing this letter than it means my worst fears have come true, and I've been forced to leave you. Always remember how much I love you. I'll never forget you. Please don't forget me."

Ron tightened his grip around his wife's shoulders and he and Hermione wept openly as Luis concluded this part of the letter. Luis then looked up again this time finding Jack's brothers sitting in the second row. He began reading once more with no emotion in his voice.

"To Andrew, Kyle, Brandon, and Joe. You are the brothers I never had. I want you all to know that it's been a privilege getting to know you over the last few years. You have lightened my days and filled my life with memories I will always cherish. Thank you for all the wonderful gifts you have given me, both big and small. You are all extraordinary young men, and you will make this world a better place, of this I am sure. You have much to learn about life, and I had hoped that none of you would have to deal with death for many years to come. But again, if this letter is being read to you, it means your lesson in death has come far too early. I'm so sorry it had to come on my account. I want you to go on with your lives and be happy. Life isn't worth living if you don't have some kind of happiness to keep you going through the hard times. Don't feel bad about my passing. I've lived my life and I'm content with the person I've become."

Bill Weasley had an arm around Kyle, who cried silent tears and looked straight ahead soberly. Andrew and Brandon sat next to each other, neither moved. Fred and George sat on either side of their nephews, stealing worried glances at them every now and then. Joe had his head on Molly Weasley's shoulder, soaking her shirt with tears.

Hermione had debated whether or not he should come to the funeral. He idealized Lily so much and was too young to really understand why she was gone. When she saw how upset he was, she stood up and walked around to her mother in law to hold her son in her arms. She brought him back over to Ron and they both just held him. Neither asked him to stop crying.

Meanwhile, Luis kept on reading, "To Brad, Mea, Dylan, and Christy. I could never have asked for better friends. Each of you has challenged me and helped me in so many ways. I hope I have meant as much to you as you have meant to me. We shared so many great times during our years together. It's hard to think of that all coming to an end. Endings are never easy to understand. I learned this powerful lesson when we lost Allan. I've never been good at letting things go, so I guess this time I just won't. I'll hold on to our friendship in hopes that one day we'll see each other again, and pick up where we left off. You'll tell me about your lives and all the fun you had. I'll tell you how happy I was to look down on you and watch you learn and grow into the wonderful people I know you will one day become. I love all four of you with all my heart, and know that I will never truly leave you. I'll always be right here. Whenever you need me."

Harry remembered someone telling him about Christy Whitewater. She was from the American orphanage and had been friends with Lily for the longest. He had never met her but assumed he had found her in the crowd sitting next to Dylan who had an arm around her. He knew she was in Hufflepuff, and had also been good friends with Allan. She looked completely devastated crying against Dylan's shoulder as he cried right along with her.

Looking back up to the podium, Harry noticed Luis shooting Jack a glance before he continued. "To Jack. Being an orphan, I never really knew what it felt like to be loved until I met you. You have made my life so complete in everyway. I have always known if something were to happen to me, you would be the hardest person to say goodbye to. Now the time for goodbye has arrived, I don't think I can say it. I want you to know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and loving you has kept me going and given me a reason to not only hope for happiness but to actually know what if feels like. Now, because I love you so much I must do something that pains me greatly. I must tell you to move on. Though the thought of you moving on without me is a very hard concept to process, it would be worst for me to look down and find you miserable. I want you to get on with your life, Jack. I want you to send everyday of your life in complete and utter happiness, because that is what you deserve. I want you to find someone who will love you as much as I do. Make that person, whoever she is, as happy as you have made me. I'm desperately sorry that I can be that person for you. I know you don't want to think about this now because you're hurting. But you can't stop living just because I'm gone. You may not know this, but you are so much stronger than I have ever been. You can handle anything. I know you can get through this and come out a better person in the end. Someday, hopefully not to far from now, you'll be able to put me in the past and look forward to a new life…without me. I told you once that I wanted to spend the rest of forever with you, and I want you to know that I'm waiting for you to fulfill that promise. Somewhere on the other side of all your tomorrows, I'm waiting for you. I'll love you always. I'll never forget you, and please don't forget me or the things I've asked you to do."

Harry saw Jack's shoulders where shaking from the corner of his eye. Turning his head to face his godson, Harry felt completely helpless by what he saw. Jack was sitting there with his face in his hands, sobbing silently. Harry didn't know what to do. He turned to Ron and Hermione who were both looking at their son. Hermione got up, handed Joe to Harry and sat next to Jack. She wrapped her arms around him and spoke soothing words that only Jack could hear. Joe clung to the front of Harry's robes and asked if Jack was going to be okay. All Harry could do was nod and try to reassure the child, even if he really wasn't all that sure himself. Ginny put an arm around him and told him everything was going to be alright. He didn't know whether to believe her or not.

Luis closed the letter and placed it back in the envelope. He then left the podium and walked over to Jack. When Jack saw him coming he raised his head from his mother's shoulder to look him in the eye. Luis handed Jack the letter and walked away. Jack followed him with his eyes until he reached the end of the row and turned to walk back to his seat in the back. Looking down at the letter, Jack closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He looked up at Harry and handed the letter to him.

"She would have mentioned you in this had it been written after you came back. You should have this," he said in a hushed voice so no one could here. Professor McGonagall had just stood up and told everyone to proceed to the burial. Everyone in the front two rows stayed seated while the rest of the crowd began to leave. "She loved you, Harry. She loved you very much," Jack said once everyone was gone.

Harry patted him on the back and nodded his head. Words didn't seem necessary at a time like this. Jack reached and took his little brother from Harry's arms. Joe looked up at him through glazed over eyes, puffy with tears.

"D…do you th…think Lily is s…scared? She's all alone," Joe said beginning to cry again.

Jack tried very hard to smile to make him feel better, "No Joe, I don't think she's scared. And she's not alone. She's with her mum and Allan. They'll take care of her for us. But she meant what she said about you. She loved you very much. Never forget that."

"I won't. I loved her too," the little boy said as Jack pulled him to his chest and both brothers sat there, grieving together.

a/n- There you have it! Please whatever you do, DO NOT STOP READING! There are a lot of surprises to come. You'll understand it all in a little while. I promise it gets better.


	11. Chapter Ten: Light in the Distance

a/n- Okay, here is my holiday present. This is the final chapter of THIS story. Now to those of you who have read the story and know about some of the things that follow, fear not. This story will be followed by a second, and possibly third part. I just felt that the story needed to have some breaking points and this seemed like a good spot.

Chapter Ten: Light in the Distance

Two days after the funeral the Weasley family, along with Harry, were sitting down to a very quiet meal. Ginny had gone to Hogwarts for some last minute things that needed to be taken care of before it would open in mid-September. Harry didn't realize how much he had been depending on her until she was gone. He knew he shouldn't need her so much. But he did. There was no stopping his feelings, and quite frankly, he didn't have the strength to stop them even if he wanted to.

No one really said much at mealtime these days. The only people who really ate anything were the Weasley's younger children Brandon, Kyle, and Joe. Everyone else simply sat there looking at their plates, and pushing their food around. Andrew, who was worried about his older brother, didn't eat much either.

This meal was no exception. Jack never came down for meals anymore. Hermione would bring him up food on a tray, but when she would bring in the next meal's tray later in the day she would find the first tray untouched. Jack sat in his bedroom window looking out the window, or he spent the day sleeping or pretending to sleep whenever anyone came into his room. The Weasley brothers missed him and often tried to get him to come out of his room, but they had no luck. He seemed to have lost his will to do much of anything. He reminded Harry of himself after Melissa had been killed.

The house around them was just as quiet as the dinner table that evening until they heard a loud CRASH in the living room. Hermione stood up from the table as did Ron and Harry.

"Hermione, you stay in here with the kids," Ron said as he and Harry pulled out their wands and slowly walked into the living room. What they saw was something they had not expected. There sitting on the floor, leaning heavily against the couch and moaning in pain, was the same tall man Harry recognized from Lily's auror unit. He was supposed to be dead…wasn't he?

"Oh my God…Jeff what happened…You're alive…HERMIONE COME QUICK!" Ron said as he ran over to the wounded auror as Hermione came into the room. She gasped at the sighed of him and then mumbled something about going to get Jack. She told the other children to go upstairs and asked them to stay in their rooms no matter what happened or what they heard downstairs.

Jack came into the room before she had the chance to go get him. He saw Jeff on the floor and ran to him, "Jeff…they told us your whole unit was killed…what the hell happened?"

Jeff took several deep painful breaths before he was able to answer properly, "Lies…all of it…they took us captive…Jordan's dead," Harry had no idea who Jordan was so he just assumed he was the other man from their unit remembering that there had been three of them including Lily. Jeff continued talking, "…Luis is in on this…and Jack…Lily's alive," he said grabbing Jack's shoulder but let it go once he felt the pain it caused him.

"She's WHAT!" Ron yelled in surprise.

Jack looked over at Harry with very wide eyes, "Where is she…who held you captive?"

"Draco Malfoy…he still has her…they're at his manor in London…You'd better go quick Jack…she was pretty bad off the last time I saw her," Jeff said holding his side and again groaning in pain.

Jack placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Mum, will you take care of him? Dad, Harry, and I have some business to take care of," he looked at Harry whose eyes were electric with anger.

"Just be careful," Hermione advised in vain as her husband, son, and best friend set off in search.

Several minutes later Harry, Ron, and Jack found themselves inside a wing of the Malfoy's London residence. They were surprised at how easy it was to apparate into the house undetected.

"That was too easy," Harry said warily as he looked around.

"Well, who would come looking for her? Everyone thinks she's dead," Ron reminded them.

"Let's go this way," Jack said his wand pulled out and started down a set of very old looking stairs. The stairway didn't match the rest of the hallway it was in, so that's what made them choose that particular path. The came to the end of the stairs and found themselves in a long hallway with a bunch of prisons cells on both sides.

"This must be it," Ron said in a whisper.

They heard voices from the other end of the hallway and they darted into an open cell. They then heard clearly the voice they all recognized to be Malfoy's, "I'M GOING TO ASK YOU ONE FINAL TIME, POTTER! WHERE IS YOUR FAHTER? WE HAVE EXTENSIVE EVIDENCE THAT PROVES HE DID NOT DIE NEARLY SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO AND THAT HE IS ALIVE TODAY. TELL ME WHERE HE IS NOW!"

Jack held his breath as he heard Lily's voice speak up forcefully, "I'D RATHER DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS THAN TELL YOU ANYTHING!" He glanced over at Harry and found him looking completely stunned. Lily was willing to die in order to keep her father safe. Harry just shook his head and waited for Malfoy's reply. They all held the breath hoping that he would not kill her right then.

"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND POTTER! I THINK WE'LL LET YOU SUFFER DOWN HERE FOR A FEW MORE DAYS BEFORE RIDDING THE WORLD OF YOU PRESENSE. THOUGH IT HAS BEEN FUN HAVING YOU IN MY COMPANY ONCE MORE," Malfoy's voice was as cruel and heartless as always. They heard the sounds of footsteps, and then the rattling of a gate, followed by more footsteps, and then silence. Thankfully they had left the tunnel out the other exit which did not take them past Jack, Harry, and Ron's hiding space.

Once they were certain Malfoy was gone they left their cell and sprinted down the hallway looking for Lily. They found her in the last cell on the left hand side, before the other staircase leading to the floors above. The walls of the cell seemed to be made of shape edged rocks that protruded out in all directions. There were puddles of water and blood all over. They stood outside the cell looking at her for a moment. If Jack had thought she looked beaten badly after her last dream, it was nothing compared to how she looked now. She was tied up with her hand above her head and her feet were bound together at the ankles. She leaned against a wall with her legs drawn up to her chest. Her breathing was staggered and very uneven. Her hands and feet looked like they were bleeding from where the ropes had rubbed her skin. Her hair was matted with blood, and her whole body looked black and blue. There also appeared to be blood coming from injuries to her stomach and shoulder.

He felt Harry stiffen beside him and looked over to fine him pale as a ghost. "Oh dear God," Harry muttered under his breath as he looked at his daughter's helpless form.

Jack turned to his father. "Will you keep watch in case they come back?"

Ron nodded as Harry and Jack used their magic to open the cell gate. Once inside Jack ran over to her frail body. He noticed that her eyes were closed, and he said in a calm voice, "Lily…open your eyes."

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at Jack like she wasn't quite sure who he was, "a…am I dreaming?"

"No love, you're not dreaming. We've come to take you home," Jack said looking up at Harry who began taking off the ropes, using magic to disintegrate them. He had tears falling freely from his eyes. Once her hands were free, she slumped over sideways unable to support her own weight, even sitting down. Jack took her in his arms easily and stood up, "Should we apparate straight to the hospital?" he asked Harry.

She moaned in pain with nearly every movement, "No…Luis will…find out…he can't know...I just want to…to go home…Please Jack…just take me home" she didn't even have the strength to hold on to him properly. She clinched some fabric from the front of his robes in her fists and winced every few seconds and closed her eyes, leaning her face in Jack's shirt.

"Shhh…rest now hun…we'll do whatever you want," Jack said soothingly.

Harry looked down at his lifeless daughter and his felt heart break. He tenderly touched her forehead, finding it feverishly warm. "She's right. We'll have to take her to Hermione. She'll know how to heal some of the really bad injuries and she can give her something for the pain."

"We can't apparate out of here," Ron stated from the entrance.

"Let's go back to where we appareted in from then," Jack said as he turned and walked quickly out of the cell, back down the hallway, and up the stairs with Ron and Harry close behind him. With every movement he could hear Lily groan in pain.

"Just hold on, babe. It's only a little further," Jack said trying to sooth at least her emotional pain. He felt her nodded her head in response against his chest, but she said nothing else.

Once they got back up the stairs they were able to apparate again. The Weasley living room came back into focus in seconds, and the first thing they noticed was Jeff slumped over on the floor, not breathing. Jack looked at him horrified and turned so that Lily wouldn't see the body.

"There was nothing I could do," Hermione said as she came into the room with a sheet and placed it over the young man. She then saw who Jack had in his arms, "Oh my God! Jack, take her upstairs. I'll be up in a minute with some potions and bandages." Harry and Ron went to help her, leaving Jack to take Lily upstairs alone.

Jack did as he was told, taking her upstairs and into the nearest room, which just so happened to he his room. Just after he entered the room his heard the sounds of shuffling feet at the door. Looking up and found his brothers Andrew and Kyle standing in the doorway. He tried to place Lily on the bed gently, but it was rather difficult because she was bruised and/or bleeding everywhere. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and walked over to Andrew and Kyle trying to block their view of her beaten body.

"Is that who I think it is?" Kyle asked looking at Lily who was now crunched up in a ball due to the pain she was in.

He placed a hand on each of their shoulders, "I think you guy's better leave now. She wouldn't want you to see her like this."

"She's not going to die is she…I mean for real this time," Andrew asked as Jack gently pushed them out into the hallway.

"No, I won't let her die. She's going to be fine, she's just a little beaten up, that's all. Andy, take Kyle and go find Brandon and Joe take them to your room and keep them there. I don't want them to see her like this either," Jack stated before he closed his bedroom door quietly.

Ron and Harry came into the room carrying a few moments later supplies, "Your mother's coming with more," Ron explained as he set the items in his arms down on the table. Lily was lying on her back now with her legs stretched out and her eyes closed.

"I'll go help her," Jack said as he made to leave the room. But he was called back by a faint moan from Lily as she reached her hand out to him, begging him to stay.

"I'll help your mother. You two stay with her," Ron said as he left the room in a hurry. Jack and Harry both sat on the bed next to her, one on each side. Jack took her hand in his and for the first time began to fully assess the damage. He looked over at Harry and found him doing the same thing while holding her other hand.

Looking down at the small hand in his, Jack saw the ring of blood around her wrist where the ropes had been. She had a deep cut on her forehead just below her hairline. There were also bruises on her neck as if someone had been choking her, and when Jack saw these he almost lost it. "Harry…" he started to say.

But Harry had already seen the bruises and replied tensely through grinding teeth, "I see them, Jack."

Jack noticed her breathing was very labored. He placed a hand on her forehead and lovingly brushed hair out of her face. "Are you having a hard time breathing, Lil?"

"No," she said bearing making a sound. Both Jack and Harry knew she was lying. She would never let on to them how bad she really was. Hermione came in the room moments later with more supplies and sat down next to Lily on the bed. Harry stood up from the bed to allow Hermione room to work. He backed up and stood with Ron at the foot of the bed. Both of them were fighting back tears.

Hermione began to examine her injuries to see if there was anything life threatening. She unbuttoned her bruise enough to see that she had long thin scratches over her chest, similar in appearance to the scars on her back. She had a deep gash on the side of her stomach, though it had stopped bleeding. From the looks of them, those injuries had taken place several days ago.

Hermione touched her forehead to cheek her temperature. She shook her head at Harry to indicate that she had a high fever. "Lily dear, can you roll over for me?" She asked in a soothing voice.

Lily opened her eyes fully for the first time since they left the cell and nodded her head. She grabbed Jack's hand in an attempt to pull herself onto her side, but it was obvious that she lacked the strength to perform even this simple task. Jack helped her gently and distracted her while his mother examined her back for other injuries.

"Hey there," he said threw his own tears brushing away the hair that had again fallen in her face.

"Hey yourself," she said in a hushed voice trying to smile but the second she did her face dropped and she closed her eyes in pain. "I'm alright Jack," she said when she opened her eyes and saw how worried he was, "Just give me a minute." She took several shallow breaths visibly trying to keep herself from screaming in pain.

"You don't need to be brave for me. I know it hurts," Jack said smiling a sad smile. She looked at him and for a second he thought she was going to break down.

"I missed you so much," she said in a raspy voice.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," Jack said cupping the side of her face lovingly.

Hermione gasped at the number of cuts, scratches, and bruises on her back. Most of them looked like they were caused by her being thrown against a wall of sharp rocks. She rolled Lily back over and turned to her husband, Jack, and Harry. "I think you guys better step outside for a few moments. I'll try and clean up some of these cuts and see if there is anything I can do about the other injuries. I want you to go contact Madam Jefter at Hogwarts and ask her if we should bring Lily there. I can only help her so much. She needs a professional."

The men stepped out of the room without a backward glance, and turned to each other in the hallway after Hermione closed the bedroom door behind them. Jack slide down the wall into a sitting position and was taking deep breaths to regain his composure.

Ron turned and spoke to Harry. "I'll send a letter to Hogwarts. You stay here and wait for Hermione to get finished."

"Okay," Harry answered not even bothering to look Ron in the eye. He turned to Jack and took a seat next to him. "She's alive. That's all that matters."

"I can't believe I trusted him," Jack said with an unbelievable amount of anger in his voice.

Harry looked over at him. "Hey we don't know how long he was working with Malfoy. He could have used magic to hide his alliances. We don't know anything yet so there's no need to beat yourself up about it. Besides, Lily needs you now more than ever."

"I told her I was never going to let this happen again," Jack said looking Harry in the eye.

Harry had a feeling this issue was going to be brought up. He knew this because it was how he would have felt in Jack's position. Harry put a hand on his godson's shoulder and spoke softly. "This is in no way your fault Jack. She knows it and so does everyone else. I know you would have protected her with your life if you had been given that opportunity. I think the important thing to remember here is that Lily is still alive. From the looks of it she was very close to death in that cell, but she hung on. She wanted to live, and she fought like hell to come back to you."

Jack clinched his fists tightly. "When I think about all the things that man did to her…it makes me what to…"

"I know…I feel the same way. And believe me, if I have my way…we'll have a good long _chat_ with Malfoy and give him a piece of our minds. Right now we just need to concentrate on Lily and getting her healthy again," Harry said as Ron came into the room.

"I owled Hogwarts. We should receive a reply shortly," Ron said walking toward Harry and Jack who were now standing, "How is she?"

"She's alive," said Hermione as she unexpectedly came out of the room. She was wiping her hands on a towel and looking grim. "She has a fever from some infected cuts, and she's malnourished. It seems that while she was in their custody a curse was placed upon her which is going to make her recovery very difficult. I don't know what kind of curse it is, but I'll try and do some research to learn more about it. Whatever curse it was, it's preventing me from helping to speed her recovery with magic."

Harry allowed this information to sink in before asking any questions. "So what does that mean then? Nothing we can do is going to help her through this?"

Hermione took a deep breath and answered calmly, "Yes, that is exactly what I mean. I can't heal any of her injuries or take away any of her pain. It's all up to her and her own body to heal itself. But she wants to see you both."

Jack finally found his voice after a long silence, "Mum, just tell me one thing…did he do anything else to her besides slap her around?"

Hermione looked at her son and then at Harry. She knew what she was about to tell them could possibly kill them both. "Yes Jack, Lily has been sexually assaulted."

After staring at his mother in shock for a few seconds Jack slowly closed his eyes and tried to remain coolheaded. Harry took a few steps back from Hermione and ran into the wall behind him. After several minutes Hermione spoke up again. "I think you both should go in and see her now. She shouldn't be alone for too long, she is still very frightened."

They both nodded and walked towards the bedroom door. But just before they got there Jack stopped Harry from turning the door knob, "Harry…I think you should go in and talk to her first. You really haven't gotten the chance to talk to her alone since you came back. I'll give you guys ten minutes or so and then all come in and join you. I need to take care of Jeff's body anyway. Someone is going to have to notify his family. I'll send the department and owl so they can take care of it."

She was still lying down on the bed with her eyes closed, looking just as pale and in pain as the last time he saw her. He took a seat next to her in a chair Hermione had pulled up and took her hand gently in his. She was cleaned up and wearing flannel pajama pants and a hooded sweatshirt. She seemed to be in some kind of light sleep and every few seconds or so she would shake her head or mutter under her breath. Harry sat there, squeezing her hand, and trying to give her the comfort she needed.

Her eyes floated open after a short time and she look up at him through bloodshot eyes. "Daddy…" she said breathlessly, blinking several times.

"I'm here, honey. How are you doing," he asked trying to stop his voice from cracking.

"I'm better now that I'm home. How are you doing?" she asked also trying to sound bright.

Harry laughed openly at her question. Here she was lying in unspeakable pain and was asking him own he was. "I'm fine now that you're here and safe. When I thought we'd lost you-"

She held up her hand to preventing him from going on, "Dad I know how you must have felt. When I woke up in that cell and saw Malfoy for the first time I thought I was dead for sure. Then Luis came in and told me what he'd told all of you and I knew you all would never know I was alive meaning no one would come looking for me. I was so scared that I'd never see you again, that after so many years of wanting to get to know you, I would die without getting the chance. But most of all I was angry with myself for never tell you how much I love you. I never told you how proud I am of you, and how proud I am to be your daughter. I never want you to feel that any of this is your fault, if it's anyone's fault than it's mine because I should have known better," she gripped his hand a little tighter, "I love you Dad."

Harry tightened his gripe on her hand in return as tears of mixed joy and sorrow fell from his eyes. "Oh sweetheart, it's not your fault at all! I love you too, very much! You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that."

"You mean I wasn't talking the last time you saw me at three months old," she said sarcastically trying to get him to smile.

"No you most certainly weren't. It was worth it though. You were a beautiful baby," he said laughing at her joke.

"Tell me more about when I was a baby," she asked brightly, wanting to change the subject.

Harry sat back in his chair a little more still holding her hand, "Well, you were born with this head full of black hair and sparkling green eyes. Your mother said that if people looked at you that they would never know you were her child, because you looked nothing like her. But soon we realized that your hair was curly like hers was so she felt a little better. I was in the waiting room when you were born, because they wouldn't let me go back with your mother while she was in labor. They brought you out to me and you were just this tiny little thing in a sea of pink blankets. The healer handed you to me and I can remember being scared to death I was going to drop you. That moment was without a doubt the happiest of my life. When we brought you home we discovered just how great of a baby you were. You almost always slept through the night and hardly ever fussed. You were perfect to us in every way."

"You just say that because you didn't have any other children to compare me to," Lily lightly accused.

Harry completely ignored her comment, he was lost in his own sea of memories. "I used to go into your nursery late at night and watch your little chest rise and fall as you slept. I never thought I would ever have children of my own, and all of a sudden…there you were. You were the first thing that was ever truly mine."

"I was always yours, Dad. I still am," Lily said lovingly as she squeezed his hand.

Lily continued to ask him question after question for almost an hour before Jack finally came into the room. He looked relieved that Harry had managed to get Lily laughing again and smiled at the sight of them.

He walked over to Lily and kissed her lightly on the forehead before taking a seat in the chair on the other side of her bed from Harry. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm better," she answered confidently.

Jack raised an eyebrow and looked at her skeptically, "Nope Potter, you're lying. You're doing that thing with your face," he said smiling.

"What thing with her face," Harry asked confused. He looked over at Lily and found she was blushing underneath her facial bruises.

"It's hard to explain really. She does this thing with her face whenever she's not telling the truth," Jack answered as Lily laughed and blushed some more.

Harry suddenly remembered why that was so familiar to him, "Your mother used to do that too! That's how I could always tell if she was telling me the truth!"

"Well it looks like that's where you get it from," Jack concluded.

Lily threw her hands up, "Well I guess that does it. I'm totally done for. I can never tell a lie to either one of you ever again! What will I do?"

Watching them laugh together only made Harry notice other similarities between Melissa and Lily. Clearing his throat Harry interrupted the blissful moment. "I guess you'll just have to live with it. Your mother never grew out of it and I don't think you will either. But anyway, I think its time for me to leave you two alone for a little while. I'm gonna go check on Ron and Hermione, they always used to fight so much when they were left alone for too long. Do they still do that?" Harry asked Jack as he stood up and walked towards the door.

"Yeah, sometimes I think it's their only form of communication," Jack answered chuckling. Harry left the room without another word leaving Lily and Jack alone. The mood in the large perfect room suddenly became very tense once Harry closed the door softly behind him. There was silence for a few moments as Jack and Lily both stared at the closed door as if in a trance.

Jack turned slowly to face Lily and noticed that she was looking at him sadly. He moved from the chair he was sitting in the edge of the bed facing her. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked cautiously.

"Sure… I guess sooner is better than later," she said in a shaky voice.

"You don't have to tell me know if you don't want to…I just thought I may help to talk to someone about it, and I understand if you would rather talk to someone else about this…"

"Jack, there isn't a person in this world I would rather talk to than you. Your right…it's probably best to talk about it," she said looking down at her lap and playing with the fringe of the blanket nervously with her free hand.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" he suggested.

She took a deep breath and began her story, "We had just made camp for the night. Jordan and Jeff were outside our tent trying to cook something for dinner. I was inside trying to write a letter to Luis to let him know where we were. It was a few moments before I noticed that Jeff and Jordan had stopped talking by the fire. I walked outside the tent to see what the problem was and then everything went black. I don't remember anything until I woke up in the cell. Jeff was still passed out on the floor and Jordan was laying in the corner. He was already dead. A little while later two guards came in and took Jordan's body away and announced Draco Malfoy would be in to see me shortly. They took Jeff and told me they he was going to a place where they could question him separately. That's where he must have escaped from because they never brought him back to my cell. Your mother told me that's how you guys found out I was still alive. But anyway, Malfoy came in about three hours later looking particularly pleased with himself and started asking me all sorts of questions."

"What did he ask you?" Jack said after allowing her some time to compose herself.

"He wanted to know who was spying on them and how the auror department had acquired all the knowledge we used to arrest all those death eaters at the end of last summer. He also found out about my father and wanted to know where he was," she added looking down once more.

"Why didn't they just come here and look," Jack thought out loud.

"He said he knew Harry Potter would never come to the one place that was so predictable. But that's just the thing, he assumed that Dad had been keeping track of what has been going on in the wizarding world, which clearly he hasn't," she concluded.

"Did he try and use a truth potion or anything," Jack asked moving a little closer to her while still only holding her hand.

"No, he somehow knows that you and I have been training as aurors. Luis must have told him because that's supposed to be top secret information, but nevertheless he knows now. I don't know how long they've been working together but he seemed to know a lot. He also knows that aurors build up a resistance to truth potions early on in their training which we did months ago," she said as Jack nodded his head, "Besides he seemed to have more fun trying to beat and curse it out of me," she added bitterly.

She looked at him in the eye and saw tears streaming down his face. He was in no way trying to hide them. He brought his hand up to her face and allowed his thumb to graze over a deep purple bruise on her cheek. "I thought I'd lost you there for a while," he said trying to sound upbeat while he voice gave away his true emotions.

She pulled his hand away from her face and gently pulled his body to hers. "For a while there…you almost did," she whispered in his ear.

"Malfoy's going to pay for what he's done. You have my word on that," he said as he held her gently not wanting to cause her more pain. He pulled away from her but kept his hands on her shoulders. He took a deep breath of his own before asking bringing up the topic they both knew was coming. "Did he hurt you when he…when he…" he looked into her eyes showing her he was unable to continue.

Her eyes filled with tears as she asked, "Do you really want to know?" He answered only by shaking his head no, but she continued in spite of his answer. "I told him he was too late. That I wasn't a virgin and his plan would not work. He said he didn't care about that anymore."

"Did he…more than once," Jack asked, again finding it impossible to say the words.

"Yes," she answered meekly looking away as well.

He took a deep breath and tried to suppress his need to take her in his arms, crush her against his body, and never let go. Instead he turned away from her, let go of her hands, and faced the wall.

"By the time he started doing it I was so weak and tired from all the other things they had done to me that I didn't have the strength to put up much of a fight," she whispered to him as he continued to stare at the wall, "I'm so sorry, Jack. I should have tried to fight him off harder, but I just couldn't."

In the blink of an eye he turned around to face her and took her hand once more. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn't ask for this. If anyone should be sorry it should be me. I should never have believed Luis when he came and told us you were dead. I knew in the back of my head that something wasn't right…I just didn't know what to do about it. And then at the funeral…"

"No, Jack I should have done anything to keep him from doing what he did," she said shaking her head at the memories.

He placed a hand behind her head and forced her to look at him, "You listen to me, there was nothing you could have done to stop him from doing what he did. You and I both know that whatever Draco Malfoy wants, he gets. You have nothing to be ashamed about."

"I'm still sorry," Lily said stubbornly, fighting back tears. "I'll always be sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I wasn't there when I should have been. I'm sorry this had to happen."

"You guys had a funeral for me?" she asked looking shocked and trying to change the subject.

"Of course we had a funeral for you. We even got you a grave which coincidentally was placed right next to the one they gave your father, kind of ironic isn't it? Your dad was able to attend the funeral, but we had to disguise him even more than he already is so that no one would know who he was. Luis must have gotten someone else's body and bewitched it to look like you. I was the one that identified the body, and I should have known that it wasn't you," Jack again let go of her hand and turned to face the wall, this time with his elbows on his knees.

She leaned forward and, despite the pain in her ribs, wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that Jack, and there was no way you could have known it wasn't me. You are stronger than me, because I know if something ever happens to you I would crawl right down in the grave beside you."

He turned around to properly return her embrace and held her to him with all his strength, and surprisingly she returned his embrace nearly as tight. "You don't know how much I wanted to. I just kept thinking how surreal it all was. Everything happened so fast. I didn't really know what to do or how to act. I should have tried to comfort my parents and your father more, but I just couldn't. They all grieved so badly for you Lil. They love you so much. You should have heard the all wonderful things people said about you at the funeral. Everyone loves you so much."

He felt her tremble in his arms and realized she was sobbing. This was the first time he had seen her cry since they brought her home. She spoke in a hushed voice against his chest. "The only thing that kept me going was you. I wanted to see you again so bad, that it didn't matter what they did to me. As long as I had you to think of and dream about I still had a will to live, and that was something they couldn't take away from me. You are the reason I'm alive Jack. I can never thank you enough for giving me that."

He pulled her away and took her face in his hands. "I'm never letting anyone take you from me again."

"Promise?" Lily asked, half playing and half serious.

"On my life," Jack replied kissing her forehead again and holding her tighter.

She smiled and he noticed the brightness once again return to her green eyes. "Well, I guess that you'll have to sleep here tonight. I seem to have taken over your bed."

"That's fine with me," he said brushing the hair out of her face, "Are you in a lot of pain. Mum told me about the curse preventing her from healing you."

"No, actually I'm not in as much pain now that you're here. It may sound silly, but I feel better when you're close by. I felt it first in the cell and I thought it was just because I was so relieved to see you. But then when you left earlier when your mother asked you to wait out in the hall, I felt the pain return as it had before you came and got me. I don't know how to explain it…it just is."

Jack moved forward to lie down on the bed and gently pulled her down with him. She rested her head on his chest and put an arm around him. He softly ran his hand over her back. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep you safe you know that, right? If I had been with you on that mission I would have never let them take you without forcing them to kill me first,"

She turned slightly to look up at him, "I know what you would have done and I'm so glad you weren't there because they would have killed you too, and that is something I could never live with or accept. I love you so much." She placed her head on his chest again and gripped the front of his robs with one of her fists.

"I love you too. It's all over now and your safe here with me. Now go to sleep before my mother comes in and finds out you're not resting properly," he teased as he pulled her closer.

In no time at all he felt her breathing steady as she drifted off to sleep. After a few moments he too closed his eyes and was on the edge of sleep when he saw the door open and light from the hallway flood the room. He placed a hand over Lily's eyes so she wouldn't be disturbed by the light. Harry and Ron came into the room quietly and tiptoed over to the bed.

"How is she?" Ron asked looking down at her sleeping form.

"She's finally asleep," Jack answered still rubbing her back gently.

"You stay with her tonight," Harry said looking with red eyes at his daughter wrapped in the loving arms of his godson. Jack assumed he and Ron had been talking outside in the hallway. They both looked like they had been crying.

"I wouldn't think of leaving her," Jack replied.

"I know you wouldn't. She loves you very much Jack. You take good care of her. I'm so grateful she has you to help her through this," Harry said as he patted him on the shoulder affectionately. "But do you mind if I sit with you two for a while?"

"Not at all, Harry."

Harry pulled up a chair and sat watching a very tense Jack scan around the room with his eyes as he gently ran his fingertips over Lily's back. "Jack," he said suddenly causing Jack to snap his head towards him.

"What?"

"Get some sleep."

"I know, I just…"

"I understand, but you need some sleep. I mean it. She's not going anywhere. Sleep…"

Jack nodded and reluctantly closed his eyes and drifted off to the best sleep he'd had in a month.

Harry sat there for what felt like hours. He couldn't bring himself to leave the room, no matter how much his body told him he needed sleep. Jack had been out for a long time, and Lily hadn't made a sound. She looked peaceful in his arms. Protected. Safe.

"Harry," said an excited hushed whisper.

The voice startled Harry so much that he almost jumped out of his seat. He looked to his right, towards the door, and saw Ginny's head poking through the small opening. He couldn't help but smile. He walked over to the door and met her embrace full heartedly. Ginny pulled away to look over at the sleeping couple.

"She's alright," she said, almost asked when she looked back up at him.

Harry considered her question before shaking his head. "No, she's far from being alright. But she will be. In time."

"Looks like she'll have some help," Ginny said nodding her head at Jack.

"He's good to her," Harry replied.

Ginny gazed up at him, gently moving some of the hair off his forehead. "Why don't I get you off to bed. You look like you're about to fall over."

Harry nodded and allowed her to pull him from the room and down the hall into his own bedroom. She went to his dresser, got out something for him to sleep in, and waited while he changed in the attached bathroom. When he came out she walked over to him and pulled him into her arms once more. They stood there for a few lingering seconds before he finally spoke up.

"Gin, I have no right to ask you to stay here with me tonight. After all the things I've done," he pulled away from her slightly and looked down at her. Her facial expression stopped him from continuing.

"How many times do I have to tell you? The past is in the past. We've both done stupid things. Now, do you want me to stay with you tonight?" She asked, her eyes seeming to come alive in the moonlight.

"More than anything," he answered unable to stop himself.

"Then I will."

As they climbed into bed that night, Harry felt more at peace than he had in his entire life. Ginny was here with him, and it didn't matter if it was only for tonight. Because tonight, his life was as close to perfect as it had ever been. And that was good enough.

a/n- There it is. The end of this story, and the beginning of another. Happy Holidays everyone! Please tell me what you think. I'm interested to see what you guys think should happen. Even though I have most of the story that follows this already written, nothing is set in stone. Someone wise once said, a good piece of literature is never finished. Anyway, thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Keep them coming and you may just have the next installment of the story before New Years!


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